Chapter One Hundred and Ninety Three - Weak Hailey?

I couldn't respond to the bomb Adian just dropped on me and I won't ask any more questions to continue hurting him.

I realize now, that Adian knew about Ellis and his mom working together, which is why Basil was so angry.

"Hailey?" Adian calls from above my head, that still laid on his chest.

I didn't answer, I just couldn't. At least not yet, because I need to process this.

Adian just surround me with round the clock security and I didn't ask any questions. I was curious, but I didn't ask and all that time he knew.

My being in his life has put him on a warpath with his mother and now his sister.

Daddy, if you're looking over your Hailey bear, please show me a way out for Adian and I, I silently prayed.

Moving to sit up, Adian also shifts me, "Hailey I am sorry for keeping this from you," Adian explains and I hear the pain in his voice, a pain I don't want him to feel, a pain I need to have eliminated from our lives and it's me.

"I did this to protect you," Adian continues and I know he's protecting me because he cares. "I never expected Chubbs to betray me this way, like she did today," he admitted, the brokenness clearly evident.

I sat up and turned to face him, "please tell me, tell me why you couldn't tell me about it?" I had to know wishing we could share all the secrets tonight, because there is so much I need for him to know. So much I've found out, but it will pain him so much. "What are you protecting me from?"

I asked.

Can I do that? Can I break Adian's heart by disclosing his mother's ultimate betrayal?

His mother is the villain of the story.

"Yourself!" Adian whisper, but it was loud enough for me to hear, the soft words.

Why am I not shocked?

His mother constantly describes me as a mental case and now my husband whom I kept a strong exterior for, thinks that I am vulnerable?

"Is that what you've been thinking of me all along?" I asked, not from anger but disappointment. "I am just a weak and easily breakable?" I fought the tears that stung my eyes. Shaking my head, "I survived sixteen years with a nanny, but I have been dealing with my demons on my own, all this time." I said, moving to stand up, but Adian leaned over and held me back with a firm grip.

I feel so naked before him, because all he see is the part of me that brings me shame.

"No!" Adian replied adamantly. "I don't see your weakness because I know you are strong." Adian denied feeling what I thought he felt. "I have seen you fight to stand, I have seen you smile through you darkness." Adian was saying, "you are misinterpreting my words." Adain says firmly, shaking my shoulder for me to look at him, but I stubbornly refused to meet his gaze.

Finally I lifted my eyes to his, "are there more secrets?" I asked and his eyes darkened as my question took him surprise.

Nodding, "yes, but not now," Adain admits.

Yanking myself roughtly out of his arms, "I need to think," I said softly, my heart pounding in my chest. Moving off the bed, I'll be in the kitchen, please listen for Emmy," I told him, as I walked out the room, without looking back at him.

I know I am over reacting, but I am hurting too.

I have been trying for so long to be the type of woman a man like him would appreciate, but all I see now is weak pathetic me, always in tears and having panic attacks.

Sitting at the kitchen Island, sipping hot chocolate and munching on some crackers, thinking of ways to improve myself as a person.

The first that that has to change is my mindset, which is what my college friends taught me, but how do I start that all over again?

"You got extra?" Basil asks from behind me.

Without turning around, "yeah, but I plan on being here for a long time, so drink beers and let me inhale the scent." I joked as he ignores me and taking a empty coffee mug, he pours a full cup of my chocolate tea, ignoring my objections.

Basil sits opposite me, sipping his tea silently, while I wondered why he was even here.

Looking up I saw him staring at me, "did Adian send you?" I asked, instantly regretting bringing Adian up.

Shaking his head, "nah," I always do this when Mel's orchestra starts playing," he explained, curling the edges of his mouth tiredly.

Frowning I stare at him, "orchestra?" I had to ask, in spite of everything that is going on, I am curious.

"Her snoring," he shakes his head, taking large gulps of the hot tea.

"Oh," I answered, unsure how to respond. I couldn't even laugh. "You know there is a medical condition for that," I enlightened him, having heard that topic in college.

Chuckling, "okay then problem solve. I will get her to make a doctor's appointment." He instantly decided, draining his cup of tea and refilling his cup.

"Hey," I protested, but he cut me across.

Walking to the sinck he refills the pot and puts the water to boil, unlike the way I do it.

"That's not the way" I started to say, but he stopped me again.

Glaring at me mockingly, "I have been known to make the best coffee, chocolate tea and omelettes for the boys, I was stationed with, I'll have you know." He says feigning hurt.

Sitting back down as he waits for the water to boil, "whatever decisions he made, he did it with your best interest at heart." Basil says seriously.

Smiling at Adian's brother, "God I know, that, I just hate being so vulnerable"