Wounds too Deep for Healing

Jane's POV

I moved back and forth with the hurricane of thoughts inside my head and cupped my fist with my left hand.

Maybe, I was overreacting, but my mind kept recalling someone gasping for air, and once again fear struck me.

'Something is wrong '

Jaden was right, I worry too much about unimportant things, it was a gift and a curse. Maybe, he is just playing around, like always. But either way, first I will make sure he is okay, and scold him later.

"GPS tracker! " I groaned bursting upstairs, grabbed my wallet, stormed out of the house, and bumped into whatever was on my way out.

While in the taxi, I tried calling again and again, but still no response. My thoughts accelerated as my heart hammered in my chest. 'I'm bloody worried now'

I found myself in front of a plaque.

'Avis street '

No sign of Jaden or our car, the only sound in this place was of the wind that roared against the trees.

A cold breeze stabbed my skin as I followed his location. I stiffened on the spot, all my natural body movements were gone.

His body laid there, stone cold, stomach covered in blood from his wound, and his left hand pressed against it.

A surge of panic knocked me as I leaned next to him. Instinctively, I took off my t-shirt and replaced the hand he had pressed on the wound.

"Jad _ Jaden J!? "

"Open your eyes, look at me, look at me! " I found it difficult to make out the words." Help! Someone, help me, please!" I shouted when the first tear broke free and the rest stormed behind it.

"Ja_? " His expression was a mixture of spiraled pain.

"I'm here " I wiped the tumbling tears. I struggled to make him stand and only managed to inflict more pain, so, I snatched my phone.

"I need an ambulance now, my brother, he is injured " I demanded as soon as my call went through.

The woman on the other side of the call asked several questions. I only managed to give her our location, after that, whatever she said didn't reach my ears. Not paying attention to what she asked, I dropped the phone when Jaden opened his eyes.

With a weary smile, he asked " A-are you okay ?"

"This is not really a good time to worry about others" I tried to smile but failed as it turned into constant sobs "Help is on the way "

"I... " He flinched, a wave of agony dimmed his eyes making my stomach roll " I'm cold "

"I'm right here..." I solaced as I rubbed his hand." I'm not leaving, okay? "

My eyes glimmered with the tears that were seated in the skin of my heart. A veil of hurt wrapped my body like my own skin.

After trying to call mom and dad for what seemed like an eternity, I decided to call granny.

"Pumpkin..."

" He is hurt granny, and I... I don't know what to do" I struggled to explain.

"Oh, Lord! " She cried " Where are you guys? "

After ending the call, I noticed a woman driving our way. She walked out of the car her face turned pale. The first thing I noticed, was the color of her eyes.

Two different eye colors.

"What happened? Did you call the ambulance? " She interrogated and tumbled down next to me.

"They are taking long" I sobbed. " She told me to wait, but he needs help now! He is going to... "

"I will call them again darling" Rubbing my shoulders, she went back to the car.

My fears escalated when he coughed, scarlet blood flowed thickly from his mouth.

"Jaden, tell me what to do" I implored, struggling to clear my blurry vision. "You always know what to do, I can fix this. We can, we always do "

He brought his hand on top of the hand I had pressed against his wound.

" Not..not this time sis "

I shook my head. "No "

"My eyes are so... " He murmured a trembling making my heartache. " My eyes are so heavy "

You will be fine, I need you" My hands became a pond of blood and tears.

The woman came back " They are on their way " Her tensed voice materialized her concern.

I lifted my shaking hand stained with the color that burned my mind and caressed his face " You are not going anywhere, you hear me!? "

Granny came out of a car running toward us. "What, what happened "

Granny held his hand as tears formed in her eyes. She then stood up and walked back and forth, her phone glued on her ears. After ending the call she came back " Your father is on his way, honey "

Granny perked up to the lady standing, my eyes followed. She gave granny an apologetic smile and shook her head.

Terror spread throughout my whole, I looked at my twin, his skin was paler than it had been all his life.

I shrieked, I rather have a knife to my skin than admit what was going to happen.

"I'm sor...ry " His words hurt me in a way that it trimmed down the core of who I'm.

"No no no no no, I can't lose you, remember what you said? You are a constant in my life so, keep your promise. "

Tears fell sprinkling his green eyes as he tried to fill his lungs." I'm just too tired, my eyes are heavy "

Granny grabbed my shoulders.

"Pumpkin, I think..." She sobbed. " He is hurting, let him rest, okay? "

I didn't want to admit, if I did it would become true. But, the wave of pain that washed over him, made my mind concede to the torment.

I leaned closer to him, and with despair I feigned a meaningful smile, wiping the blood off his face.

I still had a hand pressed against his wound, perhaps if I kept my hand there, he would stay a little longer.

"It's okay buddy, you don't have to try so hard " I assured him.

My insides were shattered, this ache was consuming every part of me.

I smiled to ensure that my voice didn't sound as smashed as my heart. " You have been so strong this whole time, you can rest now. Thank you for taking care of me big guy, you are going to play for the big leagues now "

"Jane... "

I stared at my twin's green eyes for the last time. I heard his breathing vanishing, a part of me sinking with him.

They say we die twice. So, today was my first death.

He took his last breath and my heart stopped. Tears couldn't find their way out, I couldn't breathe, we were the same soul split in two.

I still needed him...

"Come back! I can't, come back, I still need you Jaden " I stormed pressing his wound harder hoping to pull him back.

The pain couldn't get worse right!? I was burning, I felt like I was holding my breath. My world was falling apart and even so...

I couldn't cry.

"You are my other half, Jaden! Who gave you the right to leave me behind" I broke down feeling weak. " You are my safe place, please...."

'Stay'

Granny soothed my shoulders.

"He left me..." I told her without seizing my eyes from Jaden." He is gone "

A red and blue glow of the ambulance shone right on him. Granny went to the paramedics and the woman that helped me vanished.

The paramedics came and did their usual check-up on this body, but I refused to move from my spot. Granny begged them to just give us a few minutes before taking him away.

I just stood there caressing his cold face, realizing that I owed him more than I gave.

When our parents arrived mom come out of the car, wearing a crinkled white coat, messy hair, her chest ever-rising so vigorously like she came from a marathon.

"JADEN! " She shrugged her shoulders covering her mouth with both hands as granny tried to console her.

"This is not how it is supposed to happen..."Mom sobbed. "Children can't leave their parents behind, Lauren"

Dad's figure shattered consumed by grief. He hugged me, and I felt my shoulders getting wet.

"You can let go now, Princess" With all his body features sinking downwards, he patted my hand. "You better cover-up is getting cold, where is your shirt? ".

I forgot that I was just wearing a bra, I looked down at Jaden's stomach, their eyes followed and landed on a shirt soaked in blood.

With guilt, I shook my head whispering." I tried saving him, but I couldn't "

I found myself standing in front of his room, expecting him to come out. I walked in and snuggled on his side of the bed, a burning sensation plagued my chest.

Throughout the night, I watched the stain on my hands. I didn't want to think, breathe or exist.

----

I woke up with the buzzing sound of Jaden's personalized word clock. It was saved ' Happy womb escape day to us '

I looked around, everything was just the way he left. There was a jacket on the floor near his bed, I picked it up, tugging it closer to my nose, it was as if he was still in there.

" Can you at least tell me where you are? I want to run to you, but I don't know where to "

" I should have hugged you more, and let you sleep in my room more often "

Granny, mom, and dad, came into the room. Granny welcomed me with a weak smile and she whispered happy birthday pumpkin

With little energy in his arms, dad pulled me into a hug not saying a word. Next was mom, that kissed me.

I wiped her tears and gave her a tight hug. I felt like we both needed it, me mostly.

On the day of the funeral, I was glad that my aliens were here. Their presence helped, I was a little less sad.

Mia was also here, locked in his room.

The cemetery was quite full, mainly with young people some of them being from our high school. I Walked towards dad, all teary eyes were on me. Then I saw it...

A coffin.

I saw my twin in there lifeless... Dad left and took the seat in the front row next to mom and Ailee.

"Hey buddy " I whispered rubbing his cheek with my thumb. "Did you see all these people, they are here just for you "

" I didn't want to come but, I wouldn't miss the opportunity to see your handsome face " I confided, waiting for some sarcastic response.

After throwing roses they started covering the hole with sand. Every time the sand stroked the coffin, I felt out of breath, like it was my chest being buried instead and it just got worse.

"NO, NO, STOP STOP! " I yelled at the guys with the shovel. Everyone turned to look at me.

"Princess, it's time we let him go," Dad said rubbing my shoulders.

"No dad, we can't, he....he is..., we can't breathe, he is suffocating in there, we need to let him out, he needs to come out, he has to" Dad hugged me, while more and more people begin crying.

"He would never leave me, he needs to come out dad" Dad cried sinking into our hug.

Gesturing to the guys to resume their work, dad kissed my forehead. " It's okay. Everything will be okay "

Back home, only Ailee stayed, I guess she sensed that I was exhausted from pretending to be stronger than I felt. I needed her

"Are you okay? "Ailee asked frowning.

"Part of myself knows that I lost something I can't get back, and the funny thing is, our last conversation didn't seem like a goodbye"