Wild thoughts

As soon as we crossed the door the fresh chilly air hit me in the face. The nineteen hour journey from India to here, Italy exhausted me so much that when the fresh air hit me I somehow felt a little bit rejuvenated. I closed my eyes savouring the atmosphere for a minute before the cold really hit and I started shivering. Knowing that it is a lost cause to enjoy it more, I took the sweater out of my bag and wore it. The December winds here in Italy is so cold. Comparing to India, Italy is much cooler. I, then soon observed that the cab has already been arrived and Radha was adjusting our luggage with the driver helping us.

Soon I am in the car, and my thoughts were going haywire again. My mother said that my family was in Italy. I wonder if they are still here in Italy. There is a excitement and longing in me. Longing and hope to meet my family and feel loved again. I sometimes think if it is wrong to feel like that. Because I have my friends who were ready to help me anytime I ask and importantly love me very much. And there is my son who cares very much about me and always shows patience with me. He accepts irrespective of how I am. And most importantly he accepted me as his mother. Not once did he ask me if he have a father or his biological mother. And when I asked him if he think about them, he told me that I am his father, mother and his best friend. What do I need more than that. He loves me so much. But still there is a void in my heart that I couldn't explain. As a child I always used to wonder how it will be to have a real father. But then I haven't met him. I crave father's love. It's warmth and safety that it provides. But then again when ever there a hope, excitement and longing in me to meet my father there is also anxiety that claws me.

The questions like would they accept me? or Do they love me?. Are they searching for me?. Were they also thinking about me like I was thinking about him?. These questions make me restless. Knowing that I have a father and five older brothers but I haven't remember them makes me sad. I don't even know how they look. Everyone's have heard the Cortello name. It is top most company in the world and the most richest persons. But nobody knows how they look or where there location was. The ones who met were the companies clients or dealers of other company. My elder brother, Alessandro was the CEO of Cortello group of companies. The companies branches were located all over the world. The most powerful persons. People always talk about them. People always call them the most ruthless, emotionless people. Who met them were even scared to speak their name.

I only want one chance to meet them. To see them. My manager and my close friend Karthik is a best hacker. And he himself couldn't know about their exact location. I wonder where they we-. My thoughts were cut off my angry best friend who was frantically waving her hands in front of my eyes.

It was then did I notice that we were already reached and the hotel is in front of us. Or more like we were in front of the hotel. And even the luggage was already took. I looked sheepishly at my friend who was glaring at me saying " I was calling you from about ten minutes and you are not answering. I was one minute away from calling a ambulance. Do you know that?".

I was again smiled sheepishly at her showing my puppy dog eyes asking her to not scold in front of the driver who was very amused at this point. She finally sighed. And the helped to the wheelchair. We went to the receptionist after paying money to the driver. We booked the rooms under my name which is Avni Mehra. Mehra is my mother's maiden name who is an Indian. I go by the name Avni still because I don't want to call myself Adhira without meeting my father yet. Avni is the name my mother called me when I was first born but soon changed it to Adhira by my father's persuasion to call me that. But after she took divorce she started to call me Avni. Or that's what she said.

It hurts to not able to say my original name. But again patience is important. And I will wait to be called Adhira Cortello until I met my father. As she showed us to room, firstly Radha helped me to the washroom as I showered. The warm water made me feel refreshed and I felt so sleepy. As I came to the room I noticed that Radha already took my medicines out on the table beside bed. She also arranged my phone, a water bottle on the table beside bed. It makes me easy to reach the water. Even though she acts funny and vibrant she is most caring person I have ever known. As I reached the bed I waited for Radha to come to help me to the bed.

Sometimes it makes me uneasy to depend on everyone who I have known on simple things like this but it is hard for me to these simple things. And they never judged me. Instead whenever I felt useless they hugged and comforted. Three musketeers. As few minutes have she came from the adjacent door which connected our rooms and asked me to call her when I need to go to washroom and then helped me to bed and waited until I adjusted myself comfortably and snuggled into it. She then left to her own room. Then I kept the alarm for tomorrow and welcomed the sleep with my open arms.