Harris vs. Harris
Harris sat on the sofa, staring at his feet. Megan stood nearby.
He looks pitiful, she thought. Son of a bitch.
No one spoke.
“So now what?” Harris asked finally.
“You tell me,” Megan replied. “Why’d you do it? To hurt me? You did that.”
“Well, now you know how it feels.”
“How what feels?
“C’mon, Megan. That whole refrigerator thing? And the weights? That’s supposed to give me a warm fuzzy feeling? Good God, woman!”
“Oh, so it’s my fault you became a cheating bastard! Don’t you dare try to put this on me!”
“Ok, I fucked up; I admit it. But we’re not going to get anywhere until you look at what you’re doing and take some responsibility for your own actions.”
“You want to talk about actions? Did you or did you not get pulled over for drunk driving last week?”
“I got pulled over for a tail light! We’ve been through this!”
“You had enough beer on your breath to make the officer give you a sobriety test.”
“Which I passed!”
“Which they let you pass after they learned you were my husband. I’m a volunteer deputy now. I can’t have you getting pulled over for anything. Especially when you’ve been drinking."
“I didn’t pass because you’re a deputy. I passed because I wasn’t drunk. I had two beers after work with the crew, because they’d worked hard and deserved a drink. That’s not against the law.”
“If you’d come home when you were supposed to, during daylight, instead of going out drinking, you wouldn’t have been pulled over to begin with.”
“Look who’s talking about coming home. Your goddamned deputy training kept you out around the clock for two weeks straight. You only came home to shower and change clothes. And they still haven’t called you or the other woman--”
“Her name’s Trish. She’s not ‘the other woman.’ We all know who ‘the other woman’ is.”
“I still don’t know why you had to go through all that. The cops seem to be doing fine without you.
“So what’s your point?”
“If you’re going to complain about not coming home, you might look in the mirror first.”
“You look in the mirror!”
“No, you!”
“Well maybe I did overreact with the refrigerator,” Megan said.
“Overreact? You melted my weights.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“You didn’t mean to? That was an accident?”
“I was mad at you, and I didn’t realize I’d done it.”
“Christ, Megan, you’ve got to get yourself under control. Maybe next time, you’ll do that to me. Or someone else. By accident.”
“You’re the one who needs to get himself under control, mister.”
“Believe me, I’m under control. That’s the whole problem.”
“What is?”
“Too much control. With your powers, you can make me do just about anything you want, and I can’t live like that. Nobody can.”
“I can’t live with someone who cheats on me.”
“Well, you won’t have to.”
“You want a divorce? Is that what you’re saying?”
“No, Megan.” He stood up. “I’m saying I can promise you that will never happen again. If.” She sighed. “If what?”
“If you just lighten up, or try to, at least.” Harris sat down, and Megan floated over. She sat next to him.
“What’s the big deal?” Megan asked. “I’ve been bossy for 10 years and you never cheated on me before.” She glanced at him and her eyes narrowed. “Have you?”
“No, of course not. It’s just that now, there’s no arguing with you. You say ‘no beer,’ and the refrigerator doesn’t open.”
“I’m worried you’ll get in an accident.”
“You’re going to have to trust me.”
“You weren’t very trustworthy today.”
Harris shook his head.
“Ok, truce,” she said. “I’ll try to lighten up. You stay away from other women unless they’re relatives. Fair?”
He nodded.
“One other thing,” she said.
“What?”
“Bedroom. Now.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You were going to give that woman something that belongs to me. I want it. Now.”
“I’m not sure I’m in the mood.” Yeah, right, she thought, like there’s ever been one second you weren’t in the mood.
“No?” In an instant she was in his arms, telekinetically stroking and pressing every sensitive area on his hard body that she could visualize. He softened in every place but one.
“Okay, I’m in the mood,” he said.
Megan rose into the air and carried her prize into the bedroom.