I Died by Your Hands Too.

"Have... have you seen your death?"

"..."

Taking her eyes away from the men. She quickly regretted her words.

'Shit. I ended up saying more that I intended. Looks like that look in his eyes annoyed me more than I expected.'

"Sakura. The future... what happened between us that you decided doing all this alone was better that believing in me?"

"Nothing."

"Sak-"

"What would or will happen doesn't matter now. What matters is that soon we can save my mother. However we need to fix some loose ends in our side for that to happen."

"..."

Mihkael can tell how strongly she wishes to drop the topic. He understood that her going back to topic was to distract him away from her words. However he can't ignore this any longer. He can not act as if he did not know his daughter whole future was set up to die and he did nothing to stop it.

"Did... did I betray you in the future? Did I do something that caused you to distrust me so much that you rather overwork yourself than to confide in me for help."

"Heh..."

"Sakura?"

A mocking chuckle was her response to his word. She looked him in the eye and something changed in them.

'Since you wont drop the topic, then I'll tell you what I've seen, I'll tell you the amount of times I had to watch those Sakura's dies and the pain that I felt each time I dreamt about it. I'll tell you as much as you want!'

"In one timeline, I watches through your eyes how you turn your back to me for another person... then it happened in another and then another and another an- well, you should understand what I mean. But you always turn away from me and always sided with someone else if there was a conflict between me and them."

"What!? I would never do that!"

"Really? What if the person I argued with always was that bastard child you had by accident?"

"!?!"

"What? Thought I forgot the existence of that distasteful thing? How could I? I kept dreaming of her being there and taking everything from me!"

"Sakura."

Raphael widen his eyes from the hatred that oozes out from her eyes. Rage and deep loathing seem to seep out from her expression. Her face twisted with such a strong look of resentment that it almost reminded him of her first meeting with Phelan, however this emotion was more stronger than that time.

He walked toward her to take her mind out from that depth of hatred, but she said something more that stopped her.

"Even when she took one fiancée or another from me. You never condone her actions, rather; you always sided with her and told me I had to be understanding and that love was something that couldn't be controlled."

"I... said that.."

"Or how I can see from her mother's prospective and watched that bitch put corrupted blood in my tea bit by bit until there was no way back for me! No way but to end up losing my mind and body from anger and jealousy!"

"Sakura please-! St-!"

"But you must understand the rage I must have felt when I witnessed my oh so loving father appoint that women as one of his concubines because of his oh so precious bastard child! Even when that women was the one who caused my mothers death and my demise!!"

""""!!!!"""

Uriel hand was covered him mouth in shock and looked at her eyes. She was looking at them but at the same time appeared to be seeing a memory that haunts her.

"Sakura."

"Sakura always kept trying... again and again, in each possibility of the future, in each timeline. She kept trying..."

"Sakura. You don't have to say anymore."

"I watched from your eyes; from everyone’s eyes the moment the corruption that bided its time took the chance of her weakest to take full control of her.

I watched how her eyes blacked and tears of black blood dripped down her eyes, mixing with her own last tears that she'd shed before being taken over...

I kept seeing it from so many different lives... so many possibilities, yet not once did I see one where she lived after being taken control of.

Not once did I see you regret your words and actions before it was too late...

I kept watching her death through all your eyes. Either she get killed or kills herself. What me to tell you the ways Sakura died?"

She chuckled in a twisted tone. A different aura surrounded her that seemed to hold a darker tone than the strong emotion of anger.

And Raphael noticed that tone, malice and a hint of madness appeared in her redden eyes from the tears that streamed down it. He quickly tried to hold her to stop her, but every attempt he tried was pushed away with each sentence she said.

"Sakura- no, just stop. I-"

"What? Now that I feel like telling you everything you don't have the heart to listen anymore? Come on! And I was getting to the best part too!"

"Sakura. Please stop."

Seraph stood up and walked toward her as well beside Raphael. But it was if her mind and thoughts were only controlled by the overwhelming amount of negative emotions she felt. Her eyes never left her fathers when she told him the most haunting thing all of them heard.

"She died by all of your hands once, except for Raphael's; I watched how the life seeped out with the stab wounds inflicted on to her with your own hands: but no worries, it happened maybe around ten or so times with each different possibilities that I witnessed, while the other hundred ways she died was because she killed herself; stabbing, hanging, poison, jumping; if you can think of it, then she did it hahaha!"

Seraph noticed her word choice kept changing from first to third perspectives when speaking about the future she said she kept seeing from the prophecies sent by the gods. Yet, the amount of times she kept doing this made him realize that she sees this Sakura as someone else other than herself. However he wasn't given enough time to think about it when he heard a loud shout beside him.

"Enough!!"

Raphael voice was finally able to pierce her mind. As if snapping away from a trance. Her eyes began to focus on her surrounding and she shakenly covered her mouth in disbelief.

"Sakura. Are you okay?"

A deep silence penetrated the room after his words. A few minutes later he got a respone.

"Just.."

"Sakura?"

"Just leave me alone."

Sakura moved her trembling hand to push away Raphael. Something she never once done in her entire four years as Sakura.

Using her other hand to cover her eyes. "Just... just leave me alone for a moment... please."

They watched her shoulder slump as if defeated from her action.

"Sa-"

"Don't make me beg. I had done enough of that in those lives."

Because of her pure exhaustion. She said something that would have caught their attention, however; they were all distracted by her desolate and crushed appearance. So they all silently left the room. Seraph and Uriel had to help Mihkael get up and exit the room because the shock he suffered with her is still taking time to progress in his mind. Except Kano and a hesitant Raphael remained.

"Papa Raph."

"Y-yes."

"I want to be alone to think."

"..."

He knew that the outburst this time really effected her strongly than the other ones. That even his presence was not able to soothe her state of mind, but rather exhausted her.

"I will be outside."

"..."

He gently closed the door behind him and turn to see his close friend that is close to him as family just... seem broken by what she revealed to him.

He looked at his hands in a daze.

"Mihk..."

"I killed Aurora's and my child with my own hands... I not once saved her in the future possibilities she was forced to see."

"Mihkael. Go and rest."

Seraph can tell he suffered a blow that they all were not expecting.

They already suspected Sakura's future by hints she had given. And even knew that she may have seen multiple future timelines bestowed by the gods: still, they had not expected it to be as many that can be said to count to hundreds and that she witnessed her death multiple times through each one.

What Seraph did not know is. Yes, she had witnesses those deaths, but by experiencing each one; she felt the pain, the emotions and the moment they took their last breath. She experienced hundred different deaths in the last four years of being dragged to this world. She may seem calm and cold, putting as much as a barrier her mental state can. She did what she can to not fall in a state of insanity from the jumbled emotions of so many lives being thrown into her mind.

Sometimes she ends up staring at nothing in her room for hours so she can separate reality from past Sakura memories.

It displayed her willpower was strong for her to last four years like this. It is actually a feat for her to last this long without yelling all that and still having the rationality to keep the facade that they are just future possibilities and not what already happened.

"Kano."

She whole vision was dark when she called him, sensing he was still there.

"Go out for a second as well."

"I have to be beside you so I can protect you."

"... from what? I still have the personal guards father trust enough to hear this whole bullshit of a conversation."

"I still think it is best if I am here as well."

"Heh. Are you trying to protect me from myself?"

"..."

"Heh... ha.. hahahaha!!"

She began to laugh. Her eyes still covered by her hand but the moment she lowered them she looked at him.

Her eyes looked haunting by the redden eyes from her tears. They seem to hold so much, but they held a hidden inanity at that moment that gave it a chilling light.

"You were someone I had kept beside me to use. Did you know that?"

"..."

"Tell me. Did it ever occur to you why I had planned to use you first with the thought of disposing you in my plot of rescuing myself and Adaline. How I was first so readily to have you sacrificed?"

"It does not matter."

"It doesn't? Ha- hahaha! Oh but it does! It does matter."

"Your highness. I will brew you some tea."

"I wanted to used you with the thought of disposing you because you were my dear sisters main guard."

He walked to the table and began to brew tea leaves that Raphael had brought to make more.

"I even used you to kill myself in a few of those timelines."

She chuckled when she saw him finally react. His movement stilled while pouring the hot water in the tea kettle.

"Sakura from one timeline knew that you were biased and used it to get you to kill her. She knew you were a simpleminded and loyal dog for her sister, so when she had moment of rationality and control over the corruption that was fighting for control she would always use it to provoke and anger you."

The hot water spilled over his other hand that was holding the kettle, however he did nothing to move his hand away.

"Rather than that clear hot water; it was my blood that seeped into those white gloves of yours. I laughed in joy the moment you pierced me. And it was humorous to see that look of confusion in your expression when you asked me why."

"..."

"I told you it was because I was tired... just. Tired."

She held herself back from telling him fully the truth. That the Sakura of that time was tired of killing herself so she had someone else do it for her, and Kano was the easiest to provoke to do it.

"And because I did not want to hold my papa Raph back. I had done many bad things in that life yet he still stood beside me... He suffered so much in so many li- timelines."

"Your highness."

He left the tea and kneeled before her.

"I shall never hurt you. I had made that oath that time and it will be kept. The gods are my witness and my resolve to keep you save will take priority before anything or anyone. You are my future and my life. I will make sure you are safe to grow up peacefully, or I will die trying."

Dazed by his words. Tears kept pouring down her eyes. Even when she purposely said such words to push him away, he remained calm and still chose to remain by her side. It was tiring, so so tiring.

Her mind was exhausted, the bit of rationality left to remind herself she was older and calmer shattered.

"Uhh.... uwahh!!! Uhaaa~!!!"

The emotions exhaustion she wanted to keep down poured out of her mouth. The years of suppressing her exhaustion, her control over the littlest things to not break and not be overwhelmed by those memories poured out all at that moment.

She knew she was Sakura at the moment, but she did not want to be controlled by the emotions and memories of the past Sakura. She felt fear and anxiety at the thought of her own emotions being controlled.

She was tired of being wise, she was tired of being defensive, she was tired of trying to but a barrier in her already weakened heart. She wondered why she had this memories, this haunting and cursed memories of Sakuras who didn't just go through one route once, but multiple times, causing maybe twelve or so target routes to become a hundred. So many deaths, so many attempts done by those other Sakuras. Only to end up left with nothing.

All that tormenting her and making her second guess each of her actions in fear of the butterfly effect directing her to her demise by just that one mistake. She was scared, oh so scared of trying to live and believing she was able to until one day it all comes to nothing. She held so much emotions and tried to ignore it, but with what happened today, all the things she pushed down burst open.

Kano gently held her, the child her who cried with strength and exhaustion at the same time. He felt her trembling hands grab onto him, holding onto something anything in this moment of vulnerability.

He shut his eyes and an image appeared in them. An image that seem to reach his eyes of a memory he never recalled experiencing, but was as vivid and detailed like any other memory. Yet it appeared as if it was a memory that was from long long ago...

A memory of a young girl laying on the ground while letting out such heartbreaking wails. Holding her knees to her chest and cradling herself from the pain inside of her.

He was hidden away, appearing to be guarding her from the shadows. Maybe in this memory he was a hidden guard. He does not know. However he knew this girl with platinum blond hair and pale rosy skin was his princess. Maybe older, but he can tell with just how beautiful she was, even when she cried in excruciating pain.

The person in his memory stood away even when he screamed at him to run and comfort her, yet the man still stood there. But after a while he took a few hesitant steps toward her only to return back into the shadows when another man bursts into the room.

This man hastened his steps when his eyes caught the sight of her.

Kano watched this older version of Raphael cradle Sakura into his arms and promised her.

***

"promise- no, I swear in my life. That I will always be with you, even if the world condemns you or turns against you, I will always be there beside you, I will never leave you alone or side with anyone else."

***

That him in that memory stood still and watched this girl find solace in Raphael. Her broken heart was mended with his words yet it would not fully save her and a memory that shifted to replace it was as there to remind him of that fact. That fact that she still died, by her own hands so she can be placed right beside her papa Raphael.

Those memories were something he has seem recently. A memory that seemed to appear after being appointed as Sakura's personal knight. He wondered, was this a possible future she had to witness as well? He did not want to think of it after asking himself that.

Because it broke him when he saw it, he could not imagine what it did to her if she saw it.

So he held her tightly, he did nothing but stay there, to allow her to release as much of her emotions she needed to let go. And he will not question her, he will not ask for details after she is done.

He will stay beside her, remind her he will always be there. That Raphael is not the only one she has, but she has him as well.

A/N:

Hello my dear readers, it is I, the author. Been a while right. I understand the frustration you would have with such chapter schedules. And I can not excuse myself. Just that I really am not that good at writing and have a hard time growing along with the plot. But look!!! We reached quite a place in this. Wonder how you guys feel with this lol. But that is all, I won't make promises that I'll go update more in just a month. I have outside things to do like work and study so I may keep a schedule one a month or longer, so I'm truly sorry in advance.