34 - Confession

"What a week..." I said as I was laying on my bed, my arms resting under my skull. I removed my shoes, not caring where they were falling. I didn't want to think about it. My mind was thinking about every single one of my problems.

First: Xiao, if I was still allowed to call him like that, was furious. Second, Boss will punish Jieung-yong heavily for his murder attempt on Samira. Fortunately, she didn't know she was the one he wanted to hit with his new weapon. If she learned this, she wouldn't hesitate to kill.

I held my hands up in the air, trying to focus on my calluses and my fingers rather than on the events of that crazy week. If someone told me about what would have happened in France, I wouldn't believe him. This place was supposed to be the place of dream, the Wonderland. Not an equally corrupt county, making Jieung-yong even worse than what he already was.

How could Jieung-yong become the monster I saw just now? The Underground World mindset was contagious. Maybe, it won't be long before I hurt people and enjoying it. Maybe the adrenaline I felt when I pulled the trigger for the first time one the first step;

I was playing with my hands when someone knocked on the door, "Song-ho. We need to talk."

The thick door blurred out the low voice, but I still recognized it. Xiao, not now! He was probably waiting before the door with his mask and submachine gun, ready for a third round. I froze on my bed, scared of what would happen next.

He knocked at the door again, "I know you're in there. Don't play dead."

The high-pitched tune of my ringtone and some vibrations resounded from my sports bag. Out of habit, I spilled the content and caught my phone buzzing and buzzing, with the name 'Wei Xiaojian' on display.

He didn't think I am going to talk to him and let him insult me for hours on end? I denied the call.

"Ha. You just proved you were in that room. You're bad at this game. Show yourself; you can't hide anymore."

That was a trap!

Xiao knocked at the door, harder this time, "Can we act like adults and talk face to face?"

I whispered a curse, "You finished thinking?"

"Yup."

"Did you settle on slashing open my throat?"

"No."

I squinted in skepticism, but I didn't detect any lies. Whatever, he couldn't hurt me anymore, since he was Boss's employee now.

I got off the bed and brushed the touchscreen. The door opened on a stiff Xiao. That stiff and nervous look was an expression he showed to Chihiye. Not me. That was weird.

"So?" I laid on one side of the door, "I know what you're going to say; you're going to stop talking to me. That's fine, I always thought you were annoying anyway."

"Wait, I haven't told you anything yet. First, I wanted to know how you were feeling. For, you know..." He pointed at my right flank.

I nodded, making him sight in relief.

"Thank God. I never should have let you all alone earlier. You were bleeding and weak, and in no circumstances I should have done that. Sorry. I also wanted to say sorry for being that mad. I think I was more surprised that she was someone I knew. That it was you..."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't mean I hate the fact that's it's you. I would have run away if that was Jieung-yong behind that mask."

"Who wouldn't!" I laughed, "I can't contradict you. Oh my God, I shouldn't laugh that much that's so mean!" I laughed way too loudly. To control it, I put my hands on my mouth.

Xiao laughed too, but it was more of a quiet chuckle. He kept watching me laugh while he swallowed.

"That joke was really good. So I forgive you. Sorry for lying to you. I could have handled the situation better. Now, we're even. Are we done?"

"Not yet." He scratched his collarbone in nervousness, "There's still something. I already said it was okay that Chihiye was you. But that's not everything. Actually, it doesn't change what I feel for you."

I stopped laughing, "You mean that... But I'm a-"

"Boy, I know. I don't really care," he swallowed again, "So," Xiao placed his hands on each side of the door and framed me, "Song-ho, do you want to be my boyfriend?" He blushed madly.

That sudden turn of even was too much for my small body to handle. I felt my body stiffen against my will. How could I think anything good would happen? My luck seemed to be running out these times.

So I stood there, saying nothing, and Xiao did the same; we looked at each other straight in the eyes. He was waiting for my answer. He didn't know what to do since I haven't said a word yet.

With another brush of the touchpad, I closed the door on his face.

The door molesting started immediately after, "Song-ho, you can't pretend we never had this talk. Be serious, please. You're going to answer me, right?"

I sat on the foot of the door, knees against my chest. I tried to scream over the knocks on the door, "I'm not a girl, Xiao!"

"I said it before and I'll say it again; I don't give a fuck! What kind of proof do you need?"

"What kind of proof? Are you serious? Don't ask me such obscene questions anymore!"

Xiao stayed silent for a moment, realizing what he just said, "Just forget about the proof, please."

"Great, now forget about me. Get lost!"

This time, no one answered. Nor Xiao, or his violent knocks on the door. His hands slid on the other side of the door, and he then walked away from me.

I think I hurt him badly. I bit my lip, and hugged myself tightly, "It's okay, that's what I wanted since the beginning anyway. And even if I accepted to be with him..."

What would have happened? First, Xiao would have a wide smile, happy that I returned his feelings. Then, as Henriette did with Boss, he would lean toward me, heading for my lips...

"And after that? I never trusted someone that deeply after Mom. Oh, Mom..." I closed my eyelids, stopping my tears from flowing.

What should I do?

Someone knocked on the door.

I wiped my tears and stood, " I said: get lost!"

"Oh. If that's how you choose to talk to your Boss, maybe the White Room didn't have its effect on you yet. Do you want to join your comrade that bad?"

Boss? And she was talking about Jieung-yong, "Please forgive me, Miss. I mistook you for someone else.

"I'd rather have my employees hug each other, but now's not the time to discuss such matters. Go to the main hall in less than ten minutes: Urgent meeting."

Another problem to think about: great! And that meant I would meet Xiao again. I'll try to avoid him to death.