Young Rider

Well, I am Aul and currently I am now a student of a university in Western Jawa, Indonesia. You know, having or giving yourself a power to be brave is not an easy thing to do. The reason is because getting courage to be brave will need a lot of efforts and also supports from friends and also families. Me myself, I have to say that I am not facing problem like that. But, I have a friend who has a problem in encouraging herself. That's what I want to change from her, I want her to be brave and show what she wants from me, I do not want her to be silent and always try to not telling the truth about herself because she is afraid or you could ay because she does not have a courage to express it.

So, this girl is important for me because she is the first person who I met since I moved to this city. Well, we might not talk each other really much at the first. But now, we are kind a really close. However, we do not show our relationship to anybody in the campus except people who really pay their attention on us. We try to not showing our relationship to people in campus, but when we are outside the campus we are really close and spend time together (If both of us have a time). So, in the end we seem like have no relationship at all and people also think that we do not know each other. However, we actually spend almost all of our weekend together without telling anybody about it.

Even if the actual thing is like that, I am still a little worry about how are we going to continue our relationship. The reason is simple, it is because she is afraid of something. The problem is she does not want to tell me about it. I ask her several times about it, but her answer never changed, she always gives the same answer.

"What is the actual thing that you afraid of ?"

"I am sorry, but now is not the right time to tell you yet" (she replied me)

"Okay, but why you can't tell me now ?"

"Because I am afraid that you will be disappoint because of this"

"Well then, let me know one thing then"

"What thing that you want to know ?"

"Well, is that thing that you afraid of related to your past ?"

"Yes, but I will tell you when I am ready"

"Okay I will wait til you are ready, but I will always try to make you say it accidentally"

"Let's see if you could do it" (She replied with a small smile on her face)

Since that time, I always look for a way where I could make her say it accidentally. However the result is always just the same. She is always able to avoid it or telling he truth to me. Well in the end of the day, I need to wait until she is totally ready for telling me the truth. Well, I have to say that waiting is the worst thing that I ever do. Waiting makes you feel curious and want to know it soon. Waiting also will make you stressful before knowing the truth about something. Waiting also sometimes feel hurt because it makes imagine so many kind of stuffs and not all of it will appear in the future.

That is not the only problem, she seems to have lack of confidence and she has fears on few things. In my point of view, that fear will just gonna stop her from developing herself. If her fears beat her, she will not be able to be an outstanding person. That is why I also keep trying to make her try something new and make her does not feel shy to do something new. Not only that, I also want her to be able to do something that she thinks that she is not really good at. We all know if we have confidence inside us, we will be able to do something that is actually more than our expectation. I also know that changing and encouraging a shy girl to do something that she feels like she can't but actually she can if she wants to change. That's why I will not stop until she is able to change that thing.