CHAPTER 21

I looked at Dan from time to time as Prof Simon droned on at the front of the class. I thought I had it bad, but Dan's problem is nothing compared to mine.

When class was over, both of us walked out of the lecture hall. We have an hour free until our next class, so I decided to take Dan to a cafe. We sat in a secluded corner, with a cup of latte each in front of us. Dan was quiet but I could see his hands shivering as he nervously gnawed at his nails. I took his hand before he starts to bleed. He finally looked at me and sighed.

"I'm scared Hannah. It's my worst nightmare. You know how Ryan is. He would never be able to accept it. I wanted to tell him, I really did. I thought I'd wait awhile, until I'm really ready. I'm scared Ryan might tell my parents before I get the chance to. My parents are staunch Catholics. Do you think they'll be able to accept it? I'm so fucked!" Dan started sniffling. I took him in my arms and he cried on my shoulder in earnest.

After he had calmed down, we walked slowly to the next class, Dan's eyes looking haunted as ever. i hated looking at him like this. When we got to class, Dan suddenly looked agitated. I suddenly remembered that Ryan would be in the same class. When Amy arrived, she sat beside Dan as usual. She suddenly looked at us. She could always sense an awkward moment. She had this strong instinct when something was about to go down.

"Hey, I detect a very black aura. Is something going on here? Dan..you look like death." Amy said as she peered at Dan's green eyes. He just sighed and put his head on his arms. Amy looked at me, gesturing wildly. I motioned to my phone. She quickly picked up her phone.

Me: Ryan caught Dan making out with Van Hiroshi and he had freaked out. He ran out before Dan could say anything and hadn't come home since last night.

Amy: OMG! That's horrible! Poor Dan! No wonder he looked like he's about to cry any minute.

Me: Yeah, he's been like this since this morning.

Amy: Crap, Ryan would come to class any minute now. I hope he doesn't kill Dan.

Just after I read the text from Amy, I saw Ryan walking into the lecture hall with Trey. I hadn't talked to Trey since last night and here he was. Casually sauntering into class. I sighed. Just then I saw Ryan staring at Dan, looking sheepish and uncomfortable. Dan looked back at him, and I swear I saw him shrinking little by little inside himself. Ryan then looked away, although he did sit at his usual place which was behind Dan.

I could feel Dan being crazy tense beside me. Trey and Amy were oblivious.

When class was over and it was lunch time, Ryan went with us for lunch, but he was so quiet.

"What's up with Dan?" Trey whispered as he threw his arm around my shoulders and we walked to our usual diner for lunch.

"I don't know. He was really tense in class. And so quiet. He looked like he's about to burst into tears at any minute." Amy said beside me.

I looked at Dan's retreating figure and hoped that he's able to smooth things out with his twin.

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"So, you're not coming home?" Hailey asked over the phone.

"No." I answered simply, a little distracted as I walked to my next class with Amy and Dan beside me.

"Hmm, well, I don't blame you. Dad's been acting like a spoilt brat lately. He gave me an earful about my backpacking trip, telling me that I'm wasting my time and to not bother him if I get in trouble. He said I'm on my own if I go on my trip. Well, I already know how 'supportive' he is, so it didn't surprise me one bit." Hailey said a little defeated. I could hear disappointment and determination in her voice. My heart went out to her. She's got it worse since she's been at home all this time. I felt a little bad for letting Hailey become the second punching bag for Dad at home, the first one being Lydia.

"I'm sorry, Hailey. But I just can't face him and listen to his endless criticism. It's a miracle Lydia hadn't smother him with a pillow yet. If I'm still there, I might do just that." I said as I entered the lecture hall, following Amy from behind to some available seats.

"Yeah, I can totally relate. I can't wait to get out of here! But, when I'm gone, I hope you talk to Lydia and Ethan. I really feel sorry for Lydia. She seemed very quiet lately and distracted, like she's in another planet. I guess Dad's being a bigger pain and his bitchy mouth is starting to get to her. Just, you know, give a call to her and Ethan once in a while after I'm gone. I really think she needs the moral support to not murder Dad." Hailey said, sounding surprisingly mature and caring. I guess she's all grown up and really cares about Lydia.

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm going to call her every day and keep an eye on her and Ethan. Even when I'm not home, I'll make sure Lydia keeps her wits about her." I assured Hailey.

"Ok, that's good to hear. We owe it to her Hannah. She's been here for us and took care of us since we were kids, just like Mum would if she were alive. I guess the least we could do is be there for her and Ethan. Gosh, I'm tearing up. Damnit! Hey, you're sending me off right? I'll see you at the airport?" Hailey said, sounding emotional, which is totally out of character.

"Of course! What time's your flight again?" I asked, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat.

"Wednesday, 2 p.m. And bring lover boy, too." Hailey said with a giggle. I stiffened. I forgot she liked Liam.

"I don't think Liam's free on Wednesday." I said before I could stop myself. Suddenly I heard muffling sounds and a snort over the phone.

"I knew it!" Hailey finally sputtered and then giggled again.

"Knew what?" I asked, miffed that she was laughing for no good reason.

"You like him. The evil eye you gave us when he was talking with me the last time you guys came over was so scary that I knew right away. No use denying it Hannah." Hailey said triumphantly as she giggled again.

"What the hel-" I made an attempt to deny everything but Hailey cut me off.

"Look, no worries. I think Liam's nice and he's clearly into you. Like, I would be blind not to notice." Hailey said with a snort.

"What, how would you know?" Again, it slipped out before I could stop myself. Urgh, I need a mouth filter, stat!

"Oh, please. You were practically stabbing me with your eyes when I was talking to him. Come on, you've never brought any guy home. I just knew he was someone special. And I think he likes you, too." Hailey said mysteriously.

"How do you know he likes me?" Urgh, seriously Hannah, shameless much?!

"He kept asking me about you. It was so boring. I mean, I wasn't about to be the information trove of my sister to the guy that likes her. So insulting." Hailey said in disgust. I had to smile. She may pretend to be disgusted, but I know her. She would always support me no matter what. I guess having a tyrant for a father brought us siblings closer. And we accepted Lydia's arrival to our family readily as her presence would fill the hole our Mom left when she died and numb us from Dad's judgmental comments and controlling nature. And fortunate for us, Lydia was the perfect step-mom and loves us like we were her kids.

"Really? Well, it didn't seem that way last weekend." I said with a sigh, ready to tell Hailey what went down last weekend with Liam.

"What? Did something happen? tell me, tell me!!" Hailey said excitedly over the phone. i could practically see the excitement oozing out of my phone.

"Well, we were at this party-" Just then Prof Lawrence came in and the class fell into a hush.

"Hey, my lecturer's here. Talk to you later!" I whispered, ready to hang up.

"Wait! You can't just-" Hailey started to protest, but I hung up before she could say more. I put my phone in my bag and focused on the lecture. But then, from the corner of my eye, I saw Liam, about 2 seats away. And he was looking straight at me. Crap! I forgot we have afternoon classes together!

I tried to remain calm and ignored him. But it was hard to shake off the feeling of shame and embarrassment of being rejected. I was also trying to be rid of the feelings of mortification from throwing myself at him, begging him to kiss me. Oh, the shame of it all. I swallowed hard and felt my cheeks heated up.

Suddenly, his eyes met mine. He smiled a little awkwardly. My stomach churned as I recalled snatches of the embarrassing moment when I was practically throwing myself at him. I cringed and looked down, avoiding his gaze.

I was on edge throughout the whole class. Amy kept glancing at me, a look of confusion on her face when she had tried talking to me but I kept getting distracted. In the end, she just shook her head and left me alone.

When the class was over, I practically leaped over everybody's head to lunge towards the heavy hall doors. I heard Amy calling me, but I ignored her. Just then, when I neared my car, there were sounds of footsteps running behind me. Bracing myself, I froze with 1 hand on the door of my car.

"Hey, what the hell is with you? " Amy's voice rang behind me. Feeling relieved, I turned around with a heavy sigh. But as soon as I saw Amy behind me, the face that I dreaded the most looked at me.

"Hi, Hannah," Liam said calmly, looking at me straight in the my eye. Oh, crap.