Considerations

"I know you can manage on your own but I would really like it if you'd let me help," Aeson chooses insistence as soon as they're out of sight.

"Why are you being so helpful? You don't even know me."

"Because I want to, now come with me." His tone is so dismissive it almost makes me laugh.

"Excuse me?" I mutter bitterly.

There's a dilemma in his eyes before he exhales a deep breath, "Look Eileen, I don't think I know how to convince you to let me give you a ride without messing it up. So, if you would just be a little considerate, that would make this a lot less difficult for me." I know it's a delusional sense of power but I stare at him blankly for a while before giving in yet again. I really don't want to stay.

"Fine! I'll go but I still don't understand why you are trying so hard to do something that's clearly not your element," I grab my purse from the wooden table and start walking without waiting for his answer.

"Thank you for understanding," he catches up to me with a victorious smile as we both walk towards the bar now.

"That was not an answer to my question." At this point I'm doubtful he can talk straight even if he wants to.

"Let's deal with your friends first," he mutters back.

I can now see Robert and Bella with the rest of the group standing ambiguously around the bar counter. A heated blush crawls up my cheeks and threatens to explode the skin there as all of them pause their chatters to ogle me and Aeson. I relax to see Miley isn't a part of this drunk cult, at least right now.

"So what's the verdict?" Robert initiates when we reach them. Rest of the party just gobbles Aeson and I'm reminded they're all seeing him for the first time.

"Guys, this is Aeson. Eileen's friend," Robert does what I should have when the awkward gawkings become uncomfortably unavoidable.

"It's a pleasure meeting you all," Aeson greets them, perfectly unfazed by all of it.

"Likewise," Courtney says before looking at me like I've grown two heads.

I ignore her. "Okay Robert I need my car back in one piece," with a genuine warning I toss him the car keys, mostly because I desperately want to get out of this tense bubble.

"Roger that," Robert scrunches his nose at my plain Keychain like it's a disgrace to it's kind.

"I'll see you guys later," I hastily blurt out and shoot Aeson with a 'Let's get out of here' look.

"Have a nice ride both of you," Bella calls from behind as we start to walk away after some quick and awkward goodbyes, "Oh and don't do it in the car if this is your first time together. Trust me you'll thank me later," she feels the necessity to add. It takes everything in me not to turn back around and staple her mouth for the sake of humanity.

"You didn't hear that," I maffle instead, Aeson softly chuckles.

...

I expect him to look for his car or Miley's but he just stands there with me, a few feet away from the huge line of cars. I'm about to ask him what he intended to do by just standing immobile beside me when a black car rolls out and stops in front of us.

The lustrous metal body is crazily giving away the worth of the Mercedes.

I stare at Aeson, not sure why the car stopped in front of us. I was prepared for the gorgeous Volvo, I saw Miley drive at campus. This is just outrageous.

Aeson steps forward and opens the front passenger door for me. He waits patiently while I hesitate and then get in with a sigh. This shouldn't surprise me given the house erected right behind me but it does.

The person who drove the car till here, in an all black suit, is now holding the door open for Aeson. I watch him fluidly walk himself to the other side and wonder how he is human for the hundredth time this evening. He talks to the disturbingly clean man for a while before getting in.

"I thought Miley owned a Volvo?" I ask when he pulls the car out of the enormous green law. This engine is so satisfyingly smooth unlike the grungy one I'm used to, it's somehow making my problems seem not so unbearable.

"Another gift she got from her brother," Aeson replies with his eyes fixed on the road. It's a little disorienting to suddenly converse with him without getting lost in those gray eyes.

"She seems pretty close with her brother." I secretly wish I had one.

"Only on Christmas and birthdays," he laughs, genuinely. The words, although affectionate, seem a little weird coming from a third party like him. I don't say anything however and instead enjoy the soft leather seat and the amazing smell of the car dipped in the fragrance of the man driving it. What if he's Miley's boyfriend? That is a very possible possibility.

"Looks like you have to give me your address after all. Also I told the driver to provide the GPS locator of this car to your friends in case they'll be worried." He sounds so chipped and formal I can't figure if he thought it normal of my friends to call him out on being a stranger or if he was offended by it.

I stop trying to figure that out and just thank him before providing the directions.

...

I was thoughtlessly looking out the window when he speaks, "Why did you choose literature?" I turn around and he's regarding me with a thoughtful lift to his lips.

I narrow my eyes at him, "I thought we were done with that stupid game?"

"We never officially ended it."

"But I remember you officially exhausting you turn."

"You just don't know how to let go, do you?"

"Well it's only fair." I stare at the technologically mastered dashboard and consider both of his questions.

"It's the only subject where you can state whatever you believe and not be judged for it," I shrug.

He is silent for a while, his eyes fixated on the road. "You have a very unique perspective for things."

I laugh softly, "Good to know that you've discovered a polite way to call me dysfunctional."

"It was a pure compliment."

"Thank you then," I mutter with a smile and look away through the windshield.

The lightened city looks so beautifully glamorous. It feels really peaceful, this moment, even without the windows rolled down. I fall back further into the soft leather seat as it shallows me deeper. This is another foreign feeling; like suddenly I'm a whole, complete piece of human.

"Aeson?" Just calling out his name like that induces a stomach crunching feeling inside me.

"Yes?"

"How long are you here in LA?"

He shoots me a confused smile, "Why?"

"Curious," I shrug.

"Are you trying to get rid of me Eileen?" He asks with a teasing grin. My heart does several full burpees at the sight.

"Now that you mentioned, it really is an appealing idea."

"Too late for that," he says and although the words are half mocking I sense a weird intensity in them.

I look at him intently for the first time in the car. He holds my gaze for a second and then returns his eyes on the road.

"Would you mind if I roll down the window?"

He looks at me again, smiles and rolls down my window for me.

There's something in this smile that strikes out from the ones he offered to Robert and Bella or when we met others at the bar. There's a kind of affection to the way he smiles at me. Perhaps that's the smile he reserves for girls in his car or who sits under the open sky with him. Whatever the reasoning, it's amazingly soulful nonetheless.

I face the window and let the wind crush across my face, swirling my hair in every direction. It feels like a perfect moment, the presence beside me included. I feel his eyes on me every few seconds and every time I feel a heat radiating from my body in reaction.

"Eileen?" He breaks the deep comforting silence.

"Yeah."

"Would you go out on a date with me?" He asks me with a nervous smile. I forget how to smile back. The sudden crazy beating of my heart is too distinct in the confined space to ignore. My cheeks burn in embarrassment.

"Are you okay?" He lets out an awkward laughter.

I don't speak. Instead I breathe in and out and take my time to gain back composure. I look out the window to clear my head of the undue influence of his presence. And all the while he patiently waits without another word. I do however, observe from my peripheral vision that his knuckles have tightened on the steering wheel.

From what little I've known him, this man feels oddly familiar. He feels comfortable, safe and good, oh so good. His beauty is something that will never fail to mesmerize me. When his dark gray eyes look at me, it makes me feel vulnerable and utterly exposed yet it feels like he really sees me.

But all that being said, I can't forget who I am and what I'm capable of. Which is precisely nothing.

"I am okay," I answer him after what feels like an eternity.

He takes a deep breath before speaking, "I'm sorry if I've scared you. I understand if you think it's too early or if you are just not interested in me."

"It's not that," I try to explain but I'm running short on the right words. I don't want to lie and I can't just tell him 'Hey I can't date you because I'm haphephobic. You know, a condition where you can't tolerate intimate touches?'

"Then what is it?" He asks, still sounding faintly nervous.

"That would be my home," I tell him, more than grateful for the perfect escape.

"Yeah the GPS says the same," he snaps, clearly irritated that I'm changing the topic, "Eileen looks, I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable okay?." He parks the car in front of the house and shoots me a dismissive glance. Somehow that makes me want to explain better.

"It's just completely new to me that's all. Maybe I just need a little time," I feel desperate saying that, as if I'm trying to convince him to not let the offer lapse so quickly.

"What do you mean this is new to you?" He asks, taken a little off guard it seems.

"I don't date."

"You mean you don't engage in committed or exclusive relationships?"

I blush, "No I mean I don't engage in any kind of relationship." It stings that this will probably be the reason he'll back out anyway. A twenty-one old social reject who has never dated anyone before.

"May I ask why? And please don't say it's because of a lack of approach from men because I won't believe that," He sounds to me a little shaken. My embarrassment almost convinces me to get out of the car and disappear inside the house.

"I just never wanted to."

His eyes suddenly become an intense shade of gray. He looks spectacularly sculpted in the deem street light, "And you just said you'd consider me?"

The question leaves me unwary. "Yes," I answer after some honest thinking.

"I need some time to think about it though."

"Why? I mean why won't you just say no to me too?"

It's not like I don't have an answer to that, I just don't like it. "Thank you for the ride."

I turn to open the door when he softly touches my arm. I have to fight both the urge to lean in and to run away.

"Take all the time you need," he says. "I'll wait even if it's for you to turn me down." He stretches out his hand and like last time, gently glides his fingers across my cheek. My skin happily burns at the contact.

"Goodnight Aeson," I smile at him and open the door. There's no room to deny the disappointment that hits me like a crushing wave. Because I know when I'll not be around him, when the foggy effects of his presence will wear off, I'll be strong enough to tell him that I don't date. I can't date him.

I look at him once again while closing the door of the car. He is staring at me with an expression that seems to be struggling from confusion to defeat. I wonder which will win. But I don't wait to see.