Fifth Chapter - His Journal

"Now that you told me that, you're right. Why no one has referred to him in his name? Always that crazy psychopathic clown or man."

I chuckle. "You just combined it, Kristen."

She smirks cheekily, "I know, it's more awesome though."

I cannot stop the smile with our lighthearted talk, despite the serious talk just moments ago. The boys told us that Franz found the journal and decided to only open it at Simon's condo together. Franz needed to leave though, an important matter that was never specified that even Simon is not aware of. His friends sound protective though, so we chose not to ask for details.

"Car's ready, girls! Let's go!" Simon shouted from the garage.

We walked towards the garade and ride in his car. I briefly wonders why the sisters didn't chose to join us, especially with Lauren's curiousity with the journal's existence, but, then again, they need to act normal so that no one will notice us doing something else related to the case.

Why would Renz write a journal? But if it was his counsellor/therapist who advised him, then it was undesrtandable. Then I remembered Flor saying that there were attachments with it. Are those simply entries that weren't able to be written in the journal or something else?

As we entered the living room of Simon's condo, we felt the worry in the air among the three males.

Did something happened to Franz?

"So, where's that journal of his?" Simon ligheartedly asked, feeling the tensiom also in the room.

Dan pulls out a thick leather journal and puts it in the coffee table. Flor is right, there were attachments, and a lot of it.

"Who will read the journal?" I asked.

The three males shrugged. "We are only here to help," Lance said. "We are not even close with Renz despite hearing stories about him, only Franz. I think one of you should open the journal and read it. We will do the work so no one will notice, then you will search more information about his past, as it is related to it. We will only follow leads that we may found from the evidences we can find."

"We will investigate of our own starting tomorrow, the journal is all yours." Dan ended, with a smile. "Don't worry, this work is not new to us."

Simon and Kristen exchanged a look before looking at me. I narrowed my eyes.

"We trust you, Lotte," Kristen reasoned out. "Hard not to, really. That's why it was easy for you to win in elections when we were still in students, we just know that we can trust you."

I sigh, defeated. They always entrust me with things as big as this, anyways.

"Okay, let's open the journal," I muttered, getting and opening the journal.

NOTE: This is a forbidden journal, no one should know this except me.

Always remember.

My brows furrowed. What? "Well, he has a note. It was stated that this is a forbidden journal and it should only be known to him."

"Huh," Dan unconciously said. "Then it should consists of secrets if it is forbidden, right?"

We're invading his privacy, I realized. But if it means finding him...

"Then we should leave, then." Carl declared. "Let's go, guys. I need to see Franz before going home."

The other two exchanged looks before the three of them bid their goodbyes, leaving the condo. Looks the Carl is the worrywart among them.

"Let's just read it, buds." Simon said, nodding at me to proceed.

Entry 1

May 12, 2009

I've always been wondering why girls love to write a diary or journal. If they are writers, okay, go. They even love to keep pictures or take notes of the dates and times of a memorable day.

So, why am I doing it now? Well, it's just a suggestion from someone I know, so why not try it, right?

As usual, we have a mission sent by him, again. Sophia, or Pia will do the main work. Simon is standing by, will wait for a signal from Pia to do his work. And I will be in charge of the information and the possible threats in our plan.

While watching Pia do her work and Simon buying the props he needed, a question started to pop into my mind.

How are we if we weren't here?

If ever the three of us never meet the big boss and don't have our own reasons for us to be here, what are we right now?

Maybe we can have another shot in normalcy? As if, it's a miracle.

~ clg

"So, Simon," I drawled out after reading the first entry. There is no attachment to it, which is no wonder because it was the first entry. "What is this mission? And Sophia? Who is she?"

Kristen glared at him, daring him to lie. Simon gulps.

"Dated eleven years ago. We all are 27 years old today, so we were sixteen when he started writing a journal." This was the year I got closer to Renz and Simon, being included in their circle despite being friend of Kristen since first year. It was after that school year when Renz started courting me, alongside the deal we made.

"Well, the three of us were kidnapped to be trained to be part of an ideal team, a spy team." Simon started, fidgeting as he did so. "It was hard to forget what we were trained to do, even if I only trained for a year, Pia two years, and Renz three. And yes, Pia was the daughter of that man. The two of us accidentally met her because of the big boss he mentioned."

"And who is he?" Kristen asked, urging him to continue.

He inhales briefly then looks at us pleadingly. "I need you to keep this a secret, as the big boss man is somewhat close despite the two of you not meeting him. We have a small world, after all." We both nodded.

He hesitated for a while before answering, "Remember Dr. Michael Anderson or we personally known as Mikoy, Lauren's boyfriend?" We nodded again. "His father was our former boss."

"W..what?!" I exclaimed.

"No one was aware of it, but he was secretly helping the agents in the past. A former informant of the late Agent Davies, a FBI agent who died during the one of the operations of this case and," he turned to me, "your father's former partner." My eyes widened.

"He has a lot of connections, he is a powerful man and from a famous and powerful family, so that is not surprising, and Agent Davies is a very close friend of him. He promised while talking about the case that he will help Agent Davies and also the kids involved, as he got to know the initial operations of a mission making an ideal team of spies. He swore in his friend's grave to help us, he once implied he also became an agent, of what agency we never know of, and gave us special missions once in a while to end more illegal operations continuing after being vetoed by intelligence agencies, mostly CIA. He knew it was hard to forget something you were trained for, a year in that hell felt like forever for me, so for almost three years, he sent us missions at least once a month. He made us talk to counsellors and therapists as well, which might be the reason why Renz started a journal in the first place. After we disbanded, as there were no need of us as most operations were already stopped and we kind of get busy in college, we decided to keep this secret and let the legend of our team spread. That's when Pia for Washington to train. She was a FBI agent until her death."

"Details with these missions are not allowed to say, then." Kristen deduced, nodding. I recalled the past partners of Dad, and remembered Dad crying because a good man died.

Agent Davies might be that favorite godfather that I always fond to call.

"It is truly a small world," I just commented.

Turning in the next page, I read the second entry.

Entry 2

May 21, 2009

I found today boring.

Frustrated? Worried? Depressed?

On my mind, I only know today is horrible.

Under normal circumstances, I would just ignore it. But Simon was frustrated. Kristen was quiet. Charlotte had this blank expression.

Numb, I think that's what it is.

Distract me, which was all I want. And yet, here we are, facing a problem we never expected to come. Well, I was expecting it, actually.

Still, it was too early.

Oh, it happened. Simon punched the wall, Kristen was crying and Charlotte seeks for answers.

Me? I just watch them silently.

Ending it would stop my distraction, so I let them this time.

Then Simon noticed me.

He called me. I knew why. I acted like I didn't hear anything.

I know I should care, but when I was in the student council's office, alone with elder sister, I didn’t.

Not that it will change anything.

Grounded at home, I know, but it will never change anything. I kept myself locked in the room that day.

~ clg

Silence ensued between us, remembering that moment Renz pertaining to.

"How about we skip this?" Simon suggested. "It was thought of Renz, after all."

"How about we start those with attachments?" Kristen looks up, contemplating. "Maybe these papers are up to something."

I nodded. "Tomorrow, then. It was late already."

I closed the journal, anticipation and dread in my stomach.

We will find you, Renz.