Enough

I found myself waiting for his return, as much as I would like to deny it.

         Willing him to gallop through those silver gates on his black steed as I watch from the window. Starfall- that's the fair mares name. A gift from me actually, for our 133rd anniversary when she was but a filly. That was years ago. A few decades to be more precise. I love my dear husband, so very much.

Yet I despise him all the same.

I despise his entire being. Him and his beautiful forest green eyes- the ones that I could stare into for hours on end- and his chiseled Greek jaw my hands had traced countless times. His slender neck and lean build. Do not even get me started on his smooth red locks. The ones I had admired many times before- especially on the nights that sleep evaded me. Or in fits of passion when my fingers always found their way there, gathering the lengthy locks into my hands- with his hands wound in my own thrown back against the mattress.

Shaking such thoughts from my head, I turned on my heel to head to the bath. That was my original plan anyway. While double-checking to be absolutely certain I had everything I needed I heard the door to our room open. Heavy booted footsteps followed. Precariously I leaned around the doorframe to observe the one who had entered.

My husband.

He was battered and bruised, his armor in disarray. I was not shocked at the sight, but it disturbed me all the same. Nearly limping to the bed, he sat on the edge, taking deep breaths. For whatever reason, he came here instead of the infirmary. It clicked as soon as I thought the thought. There was no question.

He wanted me to heal him.

Lifting his hand, he beckoned me forth- obviously aware of my presence. Slipping from my spot, I met him at the bed. His chest was heaving with the effort it had taken to get here. I studied his beautiful bruised face, painted red and purple. A long thin cut ran across his cheek to his jaw, a string of blood slowly oozing from it. I could not even see the majority of the damage but I could estimate just how bad it was. His lovely hair was a mess, thrown about during battle. I was blunt.

"You look awful."

"Do not be snide- I was in battle merely hours ago." He dismissed, huffing. I wasn't being snide. Just honest. "Come forth, I need you to heal me."

I refrained from rolling my eyes. "Of course, why else would you be here?"

"My queen, please," He gave me an incredulous stare. "Not now. Just- heal me."

This stoked a fire that I had not known was kindling. He only was here for my abilities. Not me.

"No."

He sputtered. "I...- I beg your pardon?"

"You are correct." I turned to glare him down. "You will beg."

It was his turn to be enraged. His body was damaged badly, but his spirit was anything but.

"I am your king. Your husband. I do not beg. If anything you beg me little forest Daemon." His hand was clutching his side by now.

Blood stained on his armor began to reek as my senses cleared- rage replaced by empathy. Of sorts. It was something more akin to pity really. Sighing, I spun on my heel, padding to a chair. Settling upon it, I stared him down. His gaze was heated- and not in a good way. It was furious, angry. While I hated my husband as much as I loved him, I knew he would never act upon that rage. In the millennium I have known this man, he has never laid a violent or unwelcome hand upon me. Partly because of me, the other half his honor. He knew what was going through my mind. He caved.

"Please."

"Try again." I encouraged, crossing my ankles.

"Please heal me, my Queen." He was as desperate as I thought. It almost made me crack. Almost.

I laughed emptily, coldly- throwing my head back. "Not good enough."

"Then what do you want me to do?!" He yelled, frustration mingling with pain and exhaustion.

"On your knees!" I boomed. He was taken aback, not expecting the words. I was almost as surprised, yet I dare not show it. My voice lowered to a near whisper- but still reserving its harsh sting.

"There is only so much someone can take. I'll be damned if I go insane before making you aware- and guilty for your actions. You hardly address me anymore, and when you do, you speak of me as if I'm below you. You embarrass me in front of your adversaries and court nearly every day. To top it off you have me whenever you so desire and leave me wanting and needing you, but you could not give a shit. I am being lenient when I say to consider this payback for it all." I snarled.

"On. Your. Knees."

Seconds ticked by. Six to be exact. Six agonizing seconds. I nearly said something else- or opted for storming out of the room, leaving him to fend for himself. Then there he was, on the floor in all his glory- his pride gone. There he was- kneeling before me. Open, raw and helpless.

"Yes, Milady."

He had done my bidding and it sent me reeling. I took a moment to truly appreciate this- and the fact that he called me Milady after his submission. Not his Queen. Despite it being uttered through clenched teeth, I enjoyed it nonetheless. Thoroughly.

"Crawl to me."

It took some effort but he managed. Wincing every now and then, I watched his face as he made his way to me. My original plan was to deny him of myself until he addressed it- no matter how long it took. While he may treat me this way, he has never even thought about having another- man or woman. Despite him treating me like a nuisance, he still desires only me. I would know if that changed. It seemed to be the only leverage I had.

That should not be.

I should not even be considering what power I hold over him in the first place. But this opportunity was too good, too perfect. He was in a position where he needed me. Yet it is still when he finds it convenient. Another thing that made me angry, was that he was a rather jealous creature.

In any other case, I most likely would not mind- I would most likely find it endearing. But in this situation, he gets upset whenever anyone else even deigns to speak to me from time to time. Yet he decides to ignore me like some insect beneath his feet when I am all alone with him again.

I let this fuel me and my motives.

"Now, I want you to-"

His cool touch stopped my sentence before it had fully developed. I should have been mad at his disobedience, but I was surprised. One hand gently found purchase on the back of my calf, as the other held my Achilles heel, lifting it. His actions were rather unpredictable tonight. As were mine I suppose. This was thrust before me as his lips found the top of my foot. Yet that was not the only thing.

A warm droplet brushed the skin as it fell to the floor with a small plip. I knew too well what it was, and he knew I was aware. Though his fiery hair hid his face- his expression- I knew. This all-powerful man- conquerer of dimensions- king of countless worlds-... my husband, kneeled battered and broken before me. Only one tear fell then, and like his neglect to me- I knew that it would never happen again.

I would never allow it.

Despite all he does and says, he needs me more than he would ever dare let on. But I cannot help the rage his actions and cruel words envoke. I refused to let my emotions flow in that coppery river of tears. I have done it enough to last a lifetime. Yet there I was, feeling awashed, red running down my cheek as a hot little stream. Staining my skin. I had never felt more lost than I had right then. Even backhanded compliments felt right as I recalled them.

My train of thought screeched to a halt as his lips reconnected with my skin, this time up my leg a little ways. His eyes were still hidden from view- behind his coppery locks. Yet his strained voice explained what I could not see. It only made the jump into insanity all the more enticing- yet disturbing and twisted.

They were cruel, his words.

"I am not worthy of you."