#05. Rorens Selion

I kicked the door in front of me.

*Bam!*

"…"

The scene of the room before my eyes was so empty, made me embarrassed a little bit. I thought that there would be no one in this room, but after taking a good look around, I could see the boy crouching and trembling next to the dark wall.

"…Excuse me."

It would have been normal for the boy to think of me as a lunatic, but it seemed he could not even afford to think that sort of thing. I could tell at a glance that he had a weak body. Seeing him trembling even aroused the emotion called 'sorry', which had never existed in me even after I had killed countless people. He seemed to be just over 10, had long black hairs reaching his shoulder.

"Hey. Are you alone?"

"…"

I waited for his answer for a few seconds, but had to shrug my shoulders and set foot in the house. It seemed impossible to expect any kind of response from him, and I could go through this small house by myself after all. I opened the moldy door roughly 5 meters away from the boy.

Inside the door and behind a pile of boxes was a small girl, trembling as well. His sister? Or girlfriend? Given that there were no parents around, I thought that could be it. Young'uns are too fast these days, tsk. Well actually, I was not in any position to say things like that. Regardless of whether it was my own will or not, I had changed women on a daily basis anyway until I had left the empire. Luxury life, but most of them were what I did not want to recall now.

"Well, this seems to be it, I suppose."

"Yeah, I think so too."

Mikael, who had been following my back for a while, agreed with me for a change. Although we were on a secret mission in the midst of an enemy country, he had been yawning big from an hour ago with zero tension. Well, he was the man of the strongest power in the whole world indeed, but could he not 'pretend' to be serious at least? Revered by empire citizens and all, but knowing Mikael, he was in fact really empty-headed. Though ill-timed, I let out a deep sigh thinking about many troubles he had put me through in Normunt.

"Think my subordinate here is being lazy, so I guess I'll just have to do it myself."

"No, I'll do it."

"No. I got this one. Just stay back."

In fact, we were undergoing such a shitty(?) operation whose objective was killing a thousand citizens of a country on our own, so we were doing it in a way that Mikael finishes one house, and I do another. No matter how much time Mikael had spent in battlefield, and no matter how much of a scumbag I was so that I had already given up going to Heaven, we could not be completely free from getting a bit soft in front of such a cruelty of killing 500 people each within 3 days. We were human beings too, anyway.

'Damn, even the 3D jobs from the mainland China would be less tiring than this.'

Not even knowing I had just broken the fourth wall, (what?) I stood right in front of him. I thought I might look like a real death angel with these two swords. During the operation, there had been many people who had begged for their lives, or had not had any ideas of the reason behind their death, or had even drawn their own sword from the feeling of betrayal by Archduke Guillermo. But this kind of situation was unprecedented. Unnecessary curiosity came to my mind. If anything, I might have just wanted to escape from numerous screaming that kept echoing in my ears. That was not like me.

"Hey. Raise your head."

"…"

He did not respond, so I had to do it myself by the tip of my right sword. There is a saying, 'genius displays itself even in childhood'. His face revealed under long hairs was rather gorgeous.

"Must have made a lot of girls cry. Well, guess that's why you already live with your little girlfriend here?"

From my sarcasm, his eyes displayed an evident emotion for the first time. It was clear fury. With surprised face, I directly looked him in the eye.

"But that's all. You didn't learn a sword or something, naturally. That kind of face with that weak physique? I'm not scared at all."

"Sir Rorens?" Mikael called me, like he did not understand what I was doing. At the same time, he jumped on me.

*Gasp*

Stopped and choked by my hand, his face became pale. This speed? It was too easy.

"You are so naive. That way, you can't even protect your own damn self, let alone your lover."

"Sir Rorens."

I knew why Mikael kept calling me. He might have noticed that there was no intention of murder in me anymore. According to our plan, no one should get out of this city, Normunt. Literally, it had to remain as a secret operation. Silly sympathy was only a lethal poison which could destroy the whole thing.

However, it was not just a stupid emotion. I let him go off my choke. His eyes became vacant again, before I knew it.

"Similar."

"…?"

"With me."

Mikael shrugged. Meaning, he did not have any idea of what I was saying.

"I wanna ask your name… but I know you won't answer. Then, how about this way?"

The girl Mikael had brought was lifted up in the air by my one hand. As expected, he rushed towards me again. I grabbed him by his hairs with the other hand. I could feel desperate struggle, and also could hear his voice for the first time since I had entered the house.

"Get off of her!"

"Are you ordering me? If you can, just do it yourself. That's the rule to live by."

"Just let Dhalia go!"

"Well, is her name Dhalia? Now it's time to say your name. If you just follow my order, I will spare both of your lives."

"Rorens." Mikael tried to stop me again. He was right. We were not supposed to let them walk away, and there was no reason to do so… but.

The same kind.

Paradoxically, what I had been feeling from the black-haired young boy had become the strange and clear belief that he and I were the 'same kind'. Was it because I had the same kind of empty eyes in my hidden side? That insatiable void in his eyes was from someone who had 'crossed the line'. Something too heavy for a young boy to carry.

And it is 'karma'. The price that we have to pay for having something that we should not have. It never vanishes even though we try to avoid or ignore it.

"Your name."

"…Kiriyan."

"Kiriyan. That's an uncommon name. My name is… you should already know, Mikael's kept calling me anyway. Rorens Selion with Ensis Knights."

"…Ensis Knights? What is Ensis Knights doing here….?"

"Of course, you don't know. You're better off not knowing it."

I put the girl down on the floor and threw my right fist to his belly. It was not avoidable nor stoppable. Kiriyan dropped on his knee just right there. I put my hand into a top pocket and took out a small bottle. He was trembling again with a thin streak of blood on his lips.

"Fortune comes to ones who forget, because they even forget their mistakes."

"Rorens, that is…"

Mikael must have recognized it, but stayed silent in the end. A forbidden potion. If I were to choose the most ironic thing in the world, this potion's name would be the top on the list. I stepped forward and looked down on him. Same kind of void collided in mid-air and disappeared as we locked eyes.

"This potion's name is Reminiscence, it works directly on the brain cells that form memories. It depends, but it roughly 'blackens' one or two days' worth of memories. …I'll give you a choice."

"…?"

"If you drink it right here, all memories about this moment will be deleted and we will disappear from this house. But, your opportunity for getting revenge will also be deleted with your memory."

"…"

"Option number 2. If you don't drink this, you'll remember today forever and hone your sword for revenge. when you think that you can kill me, you'll come find me. All right? Forget or remember, choose wisely. I'll take her with us."

I had thought he was going to grab my legs or something, but he did not budge and was fixing his eyes on Reminiscence thrown in front of him. I got out of the room, carrying the girl who kept calling him with unfocused eyes on my shoulder.

"Sir Rorens. Could you carry on without Reminiscence?" Mikael asked me, worried.

"Ha, it'll be tough, but I'm okay. If I'd drunk that, that boy named Kiriyan must have been forgotten with my memory."

As a matter of fact, Reminiscence was originally invented for staff members doing confidential duties in Cheheran empire, designed to be drunk after their job to prevent divulging classified information. Mikael had managed to procure a couple of them for a different purpose this time - to keep ourselves sane from this insane operation, but I just gave mine to the boy, so there was not my 'portion' anymore. That meant, the free pass to forget all the evil that I had done for the last two days was long gone now.

"I can give you mine if you want. Actually, I don't give a damn about it."

Surely, Mikael was old enough to be able to face the memory he would have to deal with in the future. But Reminiscence… I disliked it. I did not want to take what had given me an experience like hell again… To be honest, I had given it to Kiriyan on purpose.

"Mikael, have you ever drunk Reminiscence?"

"No, I don't think so."

"But you were gonna try it this time, huh?"

"Well, I did come by a couple of them… but I never thought I would take it."

"Why did you think like that?"

"…Deleting a part of memory… it would be unpleasant, to say the least."

Mikael frowned uncharacteristically and looked away at a far mountain.

"I don't think I should worry about you… but Mikael. I'm kind of your senior when it comes to Reminiscence."

"…?"

"Take my advice, you better not drink it."

"…"

Was it meant to be for Mikael, who had been remaining silent? Or was I talking to myself? Even I did not know. I smiled bitterly. The delicate scent which had let me forget the unforgettable memory, and then had forced me to pay the consequences lingered at the tip of my nose.

‎

There are a plethora of miseries in the world, but if I were to pick the worst among them, I would say that it is 'being talented at what you despise, thereby being forced to do it for a lifetime'. Surprisingly enough, no one in this world is free from that tragedy. Neither was I.

"Sir, you are a once-in-a-century genius for swordsmanship."

It was what Mikael had told me someday as my swordsmanship mentor. That evaluation from the best swordsman in the world, obviously had made the whole royal palace obsessed over me. My father Razen had locked me in the yoke of a sword. My excellent brain had perfectly memorized the directions, amount of power and postures of Mikael's swordsmanship, but it had been a curse rather than a blessing. If you want something, you have to pay the equivalent price. My mind had gradually been ravaged, started denying the reality. Talent and passion had pulled me towards the opposite direction and torn me apart. After studying, but pushing away the sword at the same time, what I had ended up holding in my hands at the end of the road were two sharp swords.

Dual wield.

Though no better than one-handed when used clumsily, once you become proficient, it naturally gets to overwhelm a single sword. First, the timing of attack becomes totally different, and the route of attacks can also be diversified. Besides which, if you have two swords handy, you could do defense and attack at the same time, and could cope fast even if you lost one of them. Thanks to Mikael's consistent mentoring and my unwanted talent, I had become a master of dual wielding and no one could hold a candle to me anymore. Well, although it had been only once, I had even made Mikael step back in a duel.

And that had also become the 'long-ago' anyway, so even if I had to go up against him now, I would be confident in staying alive. (I wouldn't even think of winning, because that's just impossible.) And my smart brain, which had brought me up to this level, had abruptly dragged the name I had overheard on the street out of the darkness.

'Kiriyan Masis.'

Frankly speaking, I had expected it to some degree, but still I had been very surprised when I had seen the boy with my own eyes at Ensis Knights headquarter Palmasion, a few years after the secret operation. I thought he must have come to get revenge as promised, but after a short chat, I had realized that he had lost all the memories over that time period. That meant, he must have drunk Reminiscence I had given to him. After all those years, he had still been untrained for swordsmanship, too young, and above all a typical pathetic commoner, so by our rules I would not have let him enlist in Ensis Knights. However, he had caught me off guard with some unexpected words.

'I want to become stronger.'

I had asked him the reason for such a naive, difficult but desperate wish, and surprisingly enough, he had answered me with the name 'Dhalia'. I had recalled a little story from Duke Guillermo a long ago. 'It's true that Reminiscence deletes a memory, but you don't completely forget it. All it does to you is just painting black over the specific part of your memory and blotting it out.' But regardless of it being true or not, it must have meant that the boy had loved Dhalia with his heart, not only with his head. I chuckled and looked down at his deep navy-colored eyes. I had accepted him, who had wanted to rise higher up than any in the food chain. For the only reason that he could not protect her, who he had loved even beyond a memory erasure from Reminiscence, he had gone through tough trainings night and day, strived for power, and in the last duel I had had with him before I had left Ensis Knights, I had cut his shoulder deeply and he had blown up my chin with his splendid kick.

Word on the street had it the young boy was now being called 'the silver knight' and had been appointed to the master of Ensis Knights. I quietly stepped towards him, who was shining as brightly as a nova. I did not know how that decision would play out in the end, but at least it made me very pleasant deep inside.

I wanted to stop the boring marathon of my life. After putting out the flame of his fame, I would shine as bright as him and dissipate. I would tie up everything in a right way. I would not let the loose chains of fate fly out towards an unexpected way and hit others anymore.

*Bam!*

Like I had done a few years ago, I kicked a door in front of me roughly.