Chapter XVIII: An Overdue Redo

I had my fair share of fears that Monday night after school. It was ridiculous, but I could hardly be blamed for wondering whether or not Ashton would still be my friend the following day. After his antics the other week, I was having trouble believing our agreement in the library meant much of anything to him.

He had yet to tell me he didn't hate me. That didn't go very far between friends.

Despite my apprehension, Ashton stayed true to his words and did not slander me at all throughout Tuesday. Granted, we were both somewhat awkward in our interactions, but he did not give me the cold shoulder. He was only half of my concerns though.

The other half involved Britt—Britt and Josh, to be more specific. I was in a bit of a fix when it came to those two. I wanted more than anything to do something about them, but, at the same time, I knew I could not. I couldn't seem to even say anything when Britt was around me. Speaking of which, she was rarely around me to begin with that Tuesday. It did not take a genius to tell who she was spending her time with instead of me.

Rumors were true, apparently. Girls ditched their friends when they got boyfriends.

At least I had Ashton—I hoped.

Wednesday turned out both better and worse than Tuesday. It was better for me and Ashton, but worse for me and Britt. I couldn't decide which was preferable. Part of me was relieved that Ash and I were talking, the other part was conflicted that my best friend was dating a player.

In the midst of it all, I had to question myself though. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe Josh really did love Britt. Maybe the two of them were destined to be, as Britt had always insisted.

On Thursday, at least, my communication with Britt improved. It didn't help that when I did talk to her, she seemed almost like a different person. It had only been five days since she'd started dating Josh, and she'd already changed more than I wanted to believe.

I knew that deep down, she was the same old Britt, but that same old Britt was not showing her face this week, and it was really starting to freak me out. It was probably just a phase, but she could talk of only two things—her relationship with Josh and my revenge on Ash.

The latter topic was what confused me the most. While she had teased me about Ash before and casually encouraged me to put down the glove, now she seemed fixated on revenge. In a matter of days, her role had shifted from subtle shipper to determined avenger. Weeks ago, I would have been all for that determined vengeance, but now I wasn't so sure.

Why did I have to take revenge on him? That horrid day in detention seemed like a lifetime ago. I was just starting to enjoy being friends with him, so why was Britt bent on revenge now? I could not for the life of me put my finger on why she had changed her stance.

Had Ashton said something to her? Had Josh? But why would Josh turn her off to Ashton—he was his best friend! The whole ordeal was beginning to make me feel sick.

And yet, I remained silent as Britt blabbed on during our Thursday lunch period about how "we" should carry out "our" revenge. What was there for me to say? She wasn't listening anyway.

And I tried to be understanding. I really did. But something was clearly wrong.

I felt oddly drained by the time I was walking home from school, and I couldn't seem to get my mind off my friend and her boyfriend. What I'd seen during last hour hadn't helped much. After all, I hadn't exactly been expecting to see Josh shoving his tongue down my best friend's throat after gym class, but I guess that was the way they rolled.

Perhaps that would explain why I felt like vomiting the whole way home. I felt as if I were in some sort of bad dream that I couldn't wake from. What had happened to my best friend?

Just as I reached my house, my phone began vibrating in my jeans pocket. Pulling it out almost immediately, I anxiously looked at the caller ID, hoping to see "Britt <3" flash across the screen. To my disappointment, no name appeared at all. The only thing on my screen was an unfamiliar number.

Sighing, I swiped the "accept" bar and brought my phone to my ear as I mounted the porch steps. Half-expecting a telemarketer, I was both surprised and baffled to hear a familiar voice on the other end. "Maine?"

"Ash?" I paused with my hand on the doorknob, unsure what to say. Why was he contacting me? How had he even gotten my number?

"Hey." He said it with such ease that I, for a moment, felt my body relax. It felt good, considering all the knots that had developed in my muscles during my tense walk home.

"Hi." For some reason, my reply came out softer than I would have liked, so I cleared my throat before asking, "What's up?"

"Nothing much." There was a pause, followed by the muffled sound of a door closing. Then his voice returned. "You remember last Friday?"

Furrowing my brow, I removed my hand from the front door and instead sat down on the porch steps. "Yeah, what about it?"

"You know how we weren't getting along so well then?"

Despite his calm voice, I could already feel my apprehension rising. What was he getting at? "Uh, yeah?"

"Right. Well, since that went so horribly, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight—you know, like a redo."

I could hardly believe it. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? I forgot to clear my throat this time, and, in a painfully soft voice, I answered him, "Sure." The cool breeze did nothing to hinder my blush.

Ash didn't give me much time to stress over my tone, for he replied a second later. "Cool. I guess I'll pick you up in ten?"

"Yeah." I said it with a smile, but that smile dropped when I remembered something. "Wait—pick me up at the park, not my house. My parents are still a little…"

He laughed before saying, "I'm aware. So, the park? Ten minutes?"

"Uh—yeah—see you then." I hung up before he could say anything about my awkwardness. Staring at my phone for a long moment, I bit down hard on my lip. "Rubbish," I whispered as I realized just how dead I was. Then I jumped to my feet.

Turning back to the house door, I opened it and hiked up the stairs to deposit my backpack in my room. Racing back downstairs, I popped my head into the living room and notified my parents that I'd be hanging out with "my friend" for a while and that I'd be back before nine. Before they could stop me, I slammed the door shut and took off running toward the park.

Of course, I kept looking behind me to see if my parents were after me with handcuffs and a jumpsuit, but when no one appeared, I continued on. About three minutes later, I slowed to a walk as I entered the park.

I knew I still had seven minutes before Ash came, so I used the extra time to calm my breathing and gather my thoughts—or attempt to. Ever since Monday, I'd entertained doubts about Ashton's commitment to our agreement.

But his invitation to hang out tonight seemed to counter my doubts. After all, why would he go through the trouble of spending extra time with me if he could just as easily avoid it? It seemed clear that he really did want redemption from last Friday. Unless—

Shaking my head to clear it of dark thoughts, I began slowly pacing the park. It was a beautiful evening, made more tranquil by the absence of people, and I found myself relaxing despite my previously knotted stomach. I closed my eyes, listening to the crinkling of the autumn leaves under my combat boots. That was when a dim thought crept in.

If only Britt were here to share in my enjoyment. But she wasn't. She was probably with Josh right now. I stopped in my tracks then. Opening my eyes, I glanced around to see if anyone had come in my vicinity, but my surroundings were still void of humans. I am alone. I shivered somewhat as the emptiness hemmed in around me.

I couldn't help but be thankful when I heard a motorcycle in the distance. For some reason, I really wanted someone here with me, and Ashton was strangely the perfect person for the job right now.

I fixed my gaze on the road just as Ashton's motorcycle shot into view. Bringing a hand to my hair, I realized with regret that I had not planned out how I would act when he arrived. I guess I'll just have to wing it, I thought as Ash steered his motorcycle to the side of the road and squeezed on the brakes.

After his bike had come to a complete stop, he turned his head my way and nodded toward the seat behind him. Trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach, I approached his bike and accepted the helmet he handed me.

"Hey," he said above the low growl of the engine.

"Hi," I said, thankful for the excuse of putting the helmet on so I didn't have to look him in the eye. Then I swung my leg over the seat and didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around his waist. The motions were already starting to feel automatic.

Ashton was soon pulling away from the curb and speeding down the road again, this time with a passenger. Since I had no idea where we were going, I allowed myself to close my eyes and rest my head against Ash's back. It felt good to be this close to someone. I hadn't realized just how alone I'd felt this week, what with Britt's distance and the awkwardness between Ash and me. Now that I was physically this close to Ash, all I could hope was that it would last more than a few minutes.

It did.

About fifteen or so minutes into the drive, I opened my eyes in confusion. Meadowfield was not a large town, and no place in town would take so long to get to from the park, even with traffic. When my eyes landed on our surroundings, I realized why we were still driving. Ash had driven us completely out of town.

We were now surrounded by rolling hills and tall colorful trees. Shifting my head to survey all the natural beauty, I couldn't help but smile. Of all the places for Ash to take us, this had to be the best. As it turned out, a road trip wasn't the only thing he had in mind.

After a minute more of driving, Ash slowed and turned off onto a narrow dirt road that led us deeper into the woodlands and closer to Lilly River. I soon discovered that the river was his destination, for when we reached its border, he took another turn into a small shaded lot that appeared to be on the verge of losing its fight with nature.

Cutting the engine, Ash removed his helmet, and I followed suit. Then I stepped off his bike and waited as he did the same. We set our helmets down, and he turned toward me. "Getting used to riding?"

I rolled my eyes, recalling my antics the first time he'd asked me to get on the back of his motorcycle. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

He grinned before beckoning to a small footpath that led to the river. "After you."

"Is this where you kill me?" I asked unoriginally as we began making our way down the trail.

"And risk certain death at the hand of your parents? No, thanks."

I laughed, knowing the truth of his statement. When we reached the riverside, Ashton sank into a crouch and dipped a hand in the water. "I like to come here sometimes, just to think."

My lips twisting into a half smile, I asked teasingly, "You can't think at home?"

Raising one eyebrow, he gave me a look before returning his gaze to the stream. "It's not that I can't think at home. It's just…"

"More clear here?" I offered, shifting my own gaze to the rushing water. I couldn't blame him. If I'd thought of it myself, I would definitely have come here before to do some thinking of my own. The river, incoherent as its gargling was, seemed to offer a constant whisper of support. Taking a deep breath of the cool, sharp air, I knelt down beside Ash and tested the water myself.

Then, glancing up, I said to him, "You're cooler than I thought you were."

He laughed. "And you're less shy than I thought you were."

"What?" I asked, smiling.

A sly smirk eased its way onto his face. "I didn't think I'd ever get a compliment from Charmaine Eilerts."

I narrowed my eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," he replied with that same impish smirk, "that you never have anything nice to say to me because you're always too busy playing hard to get."

"I'm what?"

He appeared to be stifling a chuckle as he repeated, "Playing hard to get."

"I am not!" I retorted, horrified.

He burst out laughing but collected himself enough to wonder aloud, "Then what do you call it?"

I could not believe him. "You're incorrigible!" I snapped instead of answering properly.

That only seemed to encourage him. "See? You're doing it again!"

"No, I—ugh!"

He laughed again, and I, in my exasperation, could hardly help but laugh with him. Plopping down on the ground, I shook my head as I tried but failed to not laugh. "You—jerk," I said weakly, but it felt ridiculous even trying to act cool about it now. Especially considering the way he was smiling at me. He looked so happy that I couldn't help but feel happy too.

My phone buzzed in my pocket suddenly, shaking me from my merriment. I pulled it from my pocket to find that I had a message from Britt. Oh, so now she wants to talk. Glancing up at Ash, I muttered, "Britt."

He nodded, trailing his fingers in the river water. I stared at his hand for one thoughtful moment before actually reading the text message. Britt was asking me where I was. After a moment of hesitation, I typed, Lilly River. I knew she hated two word responses, but I didn't particularly feel like telling her more than that.

Of course, she pried for more anyway. Now she wanted to know why. Thinking, I answered, although I knew that would only egg her on more.

Why? She asked again.

Frowning, I decided that I might as well tell her, or she'd never stop texting me. So, instead of exactly answering her question, I told her, I'm with Ash.

As it turned out, that answer was not the wisest thing to say, the reason being that now Britt bombarded me with a different kind of text. Sweet! You should try to get something out of him! Before I even had a chance to reply, she sent another text. Maybe he'll tell you something really personal. We could use that.

What kind of—. Grimacing at the message, I abruptly looked up at Ashton to find him staring at me. He cleared his throat and asked, "You okay?"

Feeling a strange sadness hit me, I realized just how much I wanted nothing to do with this revenge plot any longer. Now that I was finally not fighting with Ashton, I didn't want anything to get in the way of that. Britt could stuff herself and her stupid boyfriend—wait, her boyfriend?

Without even answering Ash, I ripped my gaze from his and punched the words into my phone. Are you with Josh right now?

The reply came a second later. Yes.

I felt my chest constrict somewhat at that. But I couldn't say anything. Nothing except, Have fun.

Then I returned my attention to Ash and admitted, "Not really."

Furrowing his brow, he wondered, "What's wrong?"

"It's just Britt," I told him. "She's been acting really weird. It's been going on since the party—even before then."

"You mean because of Josh?"

Sighing, I nodded my head and ran a hand through my hair. "Maybe I'm just paranoid, but it seems like she's changing herself to make him like her."

Ash looked down at his hands and began playing with a strand of grass. "I hate to say it," he said, "but I don't think you're being paranoid. Josh tends to make girls lose reason."

My anxiety mounted. "You don't think he'd make her—" I couldn't even say it.

Ash glanced up at me empathetically, but he had no promises to offer. I took a deep breath and let it out, forcing myself to try to calm my nerves. It was going to be all right. Somehow, it had to be. Britt had a good head on her shoulders. Ash spoke up again, this time in curiosity. "What has Britt been acting weird about?"

That was where I drew the line. Despite my disappointment with Britt at the moment, I still was not going to betray such information as this to Ashton. I didn't want him to think any less of Britt—or me, for that matter. Maybe it was cowardice to not tell him, but I didn't want him to know about it.

Instead, I tried to explain it to him without exactly giving it away. "We had this really dumb thing we were going to do a few weeks ago, but we never went through with it. I had pretty much forgotten about it, but today suddenly it's all she can talk about. I don't understand what's gotten into her."

"What were you going to do?" he asked me then.

Rubbish. "Uh—just a dumb thing. It was pretty mean, now that I think of it." Thankfully, he did not pry any further, and I was allowed to breathe evenly again. Of course, another uncomfortable thought had to barge its way in then. "Has Josh ever cheated on someone?" I prayed he hadn't, but, according to rumor, he had.

Ash couldn't even tell me. All he could do was look me straight in the eyes, but that was enough. I knew the truth. My worst nightmare had just come true. I almost swore as I dropped my head, but I somehow refrained from defiling my mouth.

As my morale sank lower and lower, a silence formed around us, save the swaying trees and rushing water. Ashton broke that silence after only a matter of seconds. "As far as redo's go," he commented, "this one has been pretty trashy." Then he tossed a rock in the river and cursed under his breath.

I snapped my head up at that, and an involuntary laugh left my lips. "You're right," I agreed. A second later, I pointed out, "Your swearing isn't making it any better, though."

He chuckled before holding his hands up in surrender. "My bad."

A slow smile slipped onto my lips. I could do this for a very long time, I thought when he smiled back. Or maybe I couldn't—not without blushing, at least.

Before that blush could come on, I forced myself to ask him a question that had entered my mind when we first began talking tonight. "So what kind of thinking do you do here?"

Now it was his turn to fumble for words. "Just, anything. Everything."

"Everything?" I repeated with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah." He didn't seem to catch my mystification. "Everything."

"Like…"

Narrowing his eyes at me in what appeared to be amusement, he told me, "I'm not going to tell you my every thought, Maine."

"I didn't ask you to tell me your every thought," I responded innocently. "I'm just curious."

"Obviously." When I watched him with expectation, he finally let out a sigh and said, "Fine. If you must know." My smile turned to a goofy grin, to which Ash responded with a shake of his head. Then, in a matter-of-fact voice, he began by saying, "Well, I have come here to think about what I should do about this crazy nerd who keeps stalking me."

I couldn't tell if he were joking or not, but I laughed anyway. "Seriously, Ash, I am not stalking you."

He quirked a suspicious eyebrow and muttered, "Sure."

I stopped laughing long enough to shoot him a half-hearted glare. Then again, I probably shouldn't have felt wronged. If anything, he should feel wronged. After all, I had started working for his parents because of him—not because of "the money" as I had so adamantly told him. There were still some things I did not want to fess up about—especially something like this that could potentially ruin his opinion of me.

"Thanks, Ash," I said instead.

He looked at me in surprise. "For what?"

"This," I told him. "The redo."

He paused a moment before offering me a genuine "You're welcome." At least, I hoped it was genuine. "Sorry. About last Friday."

For some reason, I felt like squealing inside. Why was Ashton doing and saying all the right things tonight? "Me too," I told him honestly. "I was a jerk too."

"It's okay." After saying it, he let out a breath, as if he were relieved to finally have that behind him. I was feeling the same way, so I let out a breath of my own. Then I laid my head back and closed my eyes to revel in the serenity. This was all so overdue— our friendship, the redo, everything.

And yet, there was still something wrong. Something having to do with what Ashton had said when we were fighting. Something that must have had a spark of truth to it.

Somewhere in me I understood that whatever peace we had now, there were still some giant steps that had to be taken for us to reach a place of honest trust.

But for now, what peace we had was peace enough.