Nights Like These

On Thursday night I finally accepted the fact that I was most certainly, likely, probably crazy.

I tried to put Shane at the back of my mind, it was becoming a distraction and also turning into disturbing wet dreams that left me feeling annoyed and unsatisfied. As I drank the beer in hand, I thought about tomorrow night contemplating what I would make for dinner.

My phone rang bringing me out of my thoughts.

I saw the word 'Big ass yoyo' flash on my screen and fought the urge to drop the phone in the sink, I didn't have the mental capacity or strength to handle her right now.

With a sigh I answered the call and forced a smile even though she couldn't see it

"Hey mom"

"Cour Cour, how are you?"

ugh I hate that nickname.

"I'm good mom" I replied, I heard shuffling of feet and then a question of who was on the line.

"Courage, darling….how are you? We haven't heard from you in a while"

I heard my step father say and it brought a genuine smile to my face.

"I'm good Jerry, just been quite busy with work, sorry about not reaching out"

"Its fine" he replied "Do have a boyfriend yet?"

I almost choked at his question, of course he is going to ask me that. I heard my mom scold him and it made me laugh.

"Ignore Jerry, He's on his period" mom said

"Hey!" Jerry complained and I laughed again, ok I was wrong. This is exactly what I needed. After mom asked me about my life and work she hung up telling me to go to sleep early and call on a regular. I agreed and sent my regards to my step sisters.

Carrie and Casey are twins, they are Jerry's kids from his old marriage, I know what you're thinking, step sisters equal to evil step sisters well, I'm not Cinderella and I adore my sisters.

They practically worship me, not that I'm bragging or anything, they just think I'm living the dream life as a vet in a small town. I like that they admire me but still I try to get them to dream and aim higher. The only reason I'm not working in Los Angeles currently is because I don't have the heart to leave this town, where I grew up….where my father raised me.

I'm afraid that if I leave, I will start forgetting…and I don't want to forget.

I didn't realize I was crying till felt it drop on my hand, I wiped my cheeks and tried to lighten my mood. Thinking about my dad always made me like this, less sarcastic and fun, just a depressed little girl who has a terrible craving for ice cream and The Umbrella Academy….again.

On nights like these, I feel pain. When I sit alone in this two-storey building memories I struggle to forget rushes back and to be honest, I lose the will to live….for a few minutes till I see BTS on my screen.

I know, I need therapy.

My father always told me I had a great future ahead if me, I was born for greater things but….after he died the only thing I live for is preserving his memory and leaving everything as it was, almost like he is still in the house just sleeping in his room.

I haven't been able to enter his room since he died, I just pass by his door every single night, I stare at it for a few seconds before going to my room.

Tonight was no different. I guess being depressed isn't a good thing but being depressed and silent is what's worse, sometimes I feel that my friends would just walk into the house and find me dead on my bed one day.

"I miss you" I said to no one in particular, I turned off the bedside lamp and tried to will myself to sleep.

Insomnia….I've hardly slept these past three years, the only time I knew I slept comfortably was….when he was here.

I miss sparky too, he was the one thing that made my seemingly dragging life have interest.

Holy shit! Werewolves exist!

"what the fuck" I slapped myself, I actually reacted better than I expected I realized.

If it was any other person I was sure they would still be screaming bloody murder….like I said, I'm sick.

On nights like these, I feel almost completely. The girls are home, Eve helping me in the kitchen while Stacey and Ariel were in the living room picking the movies we would watch tonight.

Friday passed by in a blur, maybe it was because I was looking forward to girls'night so much. The girls were just asking excited as I was, Ariel brought champagne which expected.

The brunette likes anything fancy, she comes from a rich family in the south that decided to settle down in town here.

Eve brought red wine, for herself of course because we all knew she wouldn't let any one come close to that bottle tonight.

Stacey brought two large bottles of hard whiskey, she's a drunk that bitch. I just hope she won't end up in jail tonight. I wanted to annoy the girls so I bought milk and orange juice….yeah I know, horrible.

After they spanked me and insulted my nose for a few minutes, they got over it like that idiots they are. I love them though.

"Why are we putting some much effort in this pasta when we know we are not going to eat it"

Eve sighed as she stirred the stew she was making, her special stew. I laughed

"Well, its for me of course, I'll end up eating it tomorrow"

Eve rolled her eyes, they refuse to admit it but I know they've all been checking on me and cooking so much food for me recently because they were worried.

"Let's watch Fifty Shades Of-"

"Don't even say it!"

Stacey interrupted Ariel before she could finish, Ariel loved that movie and because of her we have watched each part like a million times.

"Can't you just pick something else?"

I asked as I finished up in the kitchen, Eve just shook her head like she couldn't bring herself to argue.

We later picked a movie none of us had seen before, I brought four glasses from the kitchen cabinet. Moved the coffee table out of the way while the girls pushed the three sitter couch closer to the TV.

Stacey settled on the floor with her head on Eve's lap while I cuddled with Ariel.

The movie stared but we soon lost interest the second we opened the alcohol.

We are all fucking lightweights….after a few eight or night glasses, I couldn't feel my lips anymore and I continuously said anything that came to mind.

"I saved a werewolf on Tuesday"