Chapter 88: Spring [Garett]

[Garett's Perspective]

"Garett! I bought the snacks for Arielle as you requested," Charlotte Castile said as she came up to me beside Grace Elsie.

"...Thank you. She likes to eat snacks while she reads. She will be happy when she received them from you," I said dully.

"Is there something wrong?" Charlotte Castile asked.

This woman has been frighteningly perceptive ever since I first met her. She was a stark contrast to Arielle despite being her best friend.

I do not mix well with this person...

"Arielle is experiencing memory problems...She has forgotten all about me," I said.

"That is terrible," Charlotte Castile said.

"...Please don't force her to remember me," I asked.

"You are her lover...You don't want her to remember you?" Grace Elsie asked.

"Grace! It looks like he has his own reasons," Charlotte Castile said.

I thanked them both before leaving.

Before I met Arielle, the world was either a dull color or was painted in black and white. I never paid much to my surroundings since all I needed was a book in my hand. I was content with just that.

Then, she entered...

It was then that I realized what a spring after winter meant and just how dull and cold my world was before I met her. Arielle taught me what spring was by showing me how beautiful all the colors of spring were on her. The world seems dull again without her by my side for this spring.

When I heard that she was discharged from the hospital, I did all that I could to avoid her. It seemed like she was looking for me at some moments. I went as far as breaking into the clocktower that was off-limits to students and hung out there as I watched her from below.

I could not avoid her on my Graduation Day when she ambushed me with a bouquet of pink roses and flushed cheeks as I was leaving the stage.

It was the most endearing moment that I had ever witnessed before.

She was so terribly cute...that I ended up smiling.

I took up her invitation to talk by bringing her to sit with me on a bench in the Academy square. It was almost painfully quiet from how all of the other families were back at the ceremony and sending off their last goodbyes to one another.

If it were not for the rustling of the trees, I think I would have been crushed under the silence which is strange considering that I do not talk that much anyways.

Only with Arielle do I want to talk about the whole world to having meaningless conversation with...

Maybe it was a bad idea choosing this spot since the cherry blossoms had scattered all over and had fallen on top of Arielle's hair. She looked as if she was made for spring from how the petals seemed to blend into the ends of her hair. It made me want to touch her even more terribly so than I had intended before.

Before I noticed it, I had already extended my hands and touched the ends of her hair ever so slightly to pick out the petals that had dominated the ends of her hair.

I could not help myself...

How is it possible for someone to look so beautiful covered in cherry blossom petals?

She was already incredibly pretty and soft looking. I would have lost all face if I continued looking at her while she was covered in flower petals.

Thankfully, she seemed so lost in her thoughts that she did not notice me touching her hair. I had mixed feelings about how her oblivious nature had never fixed itself on its own.

"Is it alright to be with me rather than with your family?" she asked as she broke the silence.

My foster parents sent a brief letter saying that they would not be attending. There was not one word of congratulations or an apology in that letter, yet it did not bother me one bit. The moment when Arielle gave me flowers was probably the happiest moment of my student career.

"I heard that you do not remember me. It seems that you still do not have any memories of me," I said.

"Did I say something wrong?" she asked.

Not one thing is her fault. If anyone's fault, it is this damn world that opposes her happiness.

"No, it is not your fault that you do not remember...I don't have any parents or family that care for me," I said truthfully.

"Garett...I am sorry about that day in the hospital," she apologized.

I was never mad at her for raising her voice. I was more mad at myself for not being able to comfort her then.

"I already heard your apology before. If it bothered me, I would have said so," I said frigidly.

My bad...

I did not mean for those words to come out as cold as I thought it would. All I wanted was for her to not be bothered by it.

"...I called you a fake and an imposter," she said.

"Yeah...but that is not a lie," I said.

On top of being a fake and imposter, I am also a liar...

"Pardon?" she said.

"I am a fake and imposter as you have said, so there is no need for an apology. If that is all, then I am leaving," I said as I shuffled my robes and stood up.

She soon stood up and grabbed my wrist.

"Answer me truthfully then...What am I to you?" she asked with pleading eyes.

Ah, she knows just how to ask for the most unfair questions.

In the back, I saw Prince Erik approaching us. He had impeccable timing as always.

"We were lovers," I answered in a small voice.

Her big cat like eyes seemed to widen when I said that we were sweethearts.

"...Lovers?"

It sounds bitterly sweet when it comes from her lips.

"Let me say it again. We were lovers," I said with a slightly pricklier tone.

"Why..."

I love you so much that it hurts.

"Not once but many times...you have chosen someone else over me," I said coldly.

If your memories of me are so painful, it is better if you do not recall them.

"That is..."

"What? Cat got your tongue? You cannot deny that I was always your second priority. What we had was indeed a relationship, but it was all fake. You suggested that we become fake lovers so that you could tease your fiancé. By making me your fake lover, you could drive your fiancé mad with jealousy and make him completely yours," I said.

"Why would I do such a thing?" she asked.

The scenes of where we together keep on playing in the back of my mind.

"Who knows? The you right now is much better than the selfish girl you were before," I said.

"If I was such a selfish person, why did you agree to be my fake lover?" she asked.

If only you were selfish...

"We both had something we wanted. You wanted a fake lover who could drive your fiancé mad with jealousy, and I agreed because I hopelessly liked a selfish girl like you," I said.

"What merit is there to follow the whims of a selfish girl who does not love you?" she asked.

"...I could be near you. You, who had a fiancé, let me be near you because I could serve a purpose for you. It took me so long for me to realize that I was foolish. I hoped that you would turn towards me, but you never once did," I said coldly.

"...Was our relationship really that superficial?" she asked.

"I can show you proof right now," I said.

"What proof?" she asked.

"...You have never once told me those three simple words," I said.

She never once told me that she loved me, but I understood her intentions more than anyone. She was someone who preferred speaking with her actions rather than words. I received every single one with sheer happiness, but I do not want to force the memories we shared together if it only means her unhappiness.

"I like you...I love you...I want to be with you..."

My heart felt like it was slowly being ripped into several pieces every time I told her my true feelings.

I had to slyly slip in that short confession in order to protect what was left of my heart.

"...Why do you sound so sad?" she asked.

My heart is breaking...That is why I am sad.

"...These are now all words that I have come to hate because of you. All of what I have once felt for you before has equally turned into hate...Now, I can barely stand to look at you," I said as I gripped my hands. "Let's make it simple and clean for the both of us before we make things more difficult and...break up."

Arielle's method of using hurtful words to break up with someone proved more effective than I thought.

Now, I understand why she chose to use hateful words with Prince Erik as well. She could make the other party speechless as well as deliver damage to both sides. That way we could all share in the pain and suffering together.

I like you...I love you...I want to be with you...

Only those words were not a lie.

I cannot be with you if I know that I will only hurt you in the future. If that other person can make you happy, I am fine with living in misery for the rest of my life. Even these tears of torment are worth it if you can be happy in the end.

If memories with me are so painful to you, it is better that you do not have to recall them...