Chapter 3

"Will I ever get to be with him"?

My lycan wanted Liam to free me so that I could go back to my mate, I growled in a very low tone "let me go, I have to go back to him". He knew I was losing my control so he called Becky and dragged me out of the campus, to our car to take me back home.

I was shouting at him to let me go but he somehow managed to bring me back to our house. I couldn't control the rage anymore and I attacked him, I held him against the wall with a tight grip on his throat and growled "how dare you to take me away from him"?

Liam was trying to push me off but I just kept tightening my grip on his neck and kept shouting at him. His lycan was also breaking out because I was choking him, he took control and threw me across the room and shouted "get a grip on yourself Sienna, you know you can't find your mate, he will kill him".

As I heard him, all the nightmares and all the memories of that incident started coming back to me. Liam and Becky came close to me, he said in a quiet tone "you need to control yourself Enna, we've to protect your mate", the train of thoughts was not stopping and I was screaming, begging them to do something, begging for my mate. Liam and Becky were trying to say soothing things to me to calm me down but I couldn't understand anything.

All I could hear was my voice screaming to stop these thoughts. I wanted my mate, "I found him after such a long time I can't let him go, I need him" I kept screaming. That is when my eyes started to roll to the back of my head, I felt Liam catching me and Becky crying out my name and then everything was dark.

I woke up with a slight headache. I didn't know what time it was and for how long I've been sleeping. I called out for Liam. He and Becky came running to my room "how are you feeling now" he asked and I could see how anxious they both were. "I'm fine, but why do you both look so worried"?

They both shared a look and Becky replied "Sienna you've been out for almost two days". "Don't you remember what happened on Monday"? Liam asked me. That is when all of it rushed back to me, tears were flowing from my eyes when I looked at Liam "I found my mate Li, what's going to happen now? What if they find about him?"

"Shh take a breath, you woke up in almost two days after you blacked out. You need to rest and eat, go get freshened up and then meet us downstairs and we'll talk about this, okay"? Liam said very softly. I just nodded, he kissed my forehead and Becky smiled at me and they both left my room to give me some time to freshen up and come downstairs.

I took a hot water shower, it felt so soothing on my skin, taking away all headache and tiredness. After taking a long shower I got dressed and went downstairs. They both had already set the table, Becky ordered "eat before you do anything else, you look so weak". I nodded at her and we ate silently.

We moved to the living area, Liam asked "so are you sure he's your mate"? This question made me angry and I glared at him "what kind of a stupid question is that? I'm sure". "So, what do you want to do, be with him? If not, we can always move to some other place and he'll never know". Everything Liam was saying was making me so furious.

I growled at him "you're suggesting I should leave him? After living lonely for more than a century you want me to leave him behind for someone else, do you have any fucking idea how I've been living for so long"? I started throwing things around, breaking everything because my lycan was so furious at the idea of leaving my mate behind, if Liam was not my brother, I would have killed him right now.

Liam was calling out my name to stop but I didn't give a damn. He grabbed my arms and barked at me "you know that's not what I meant Enna, I've got a mate and I know how it would feel to stay away from her". "I'm just worried about you and him because you know if they found out they'd do their best to harm him" he added.

"I would kill every last person on this planet who would even think about harming him" I growled loudly. The thought of my mate being harmed made me so infuriated, there was so much energy building up in me, I knew I had to release it in some way. I ran out of the house shouting at them "I'm going for a run".

I ran till I reached the secluded wilderness and let my lycan loose. I growled so loud, I ran around with all the strength I had, kicked, and punched the trees destroying them. After what felt like ages, I felt all my energy was drained out and I was back in my human form. I was naked because the clothes I was wearing tore off and I didn't bring anything extra with me.

I couldn't immediately go back home because Liam and Becky would be up, waiting for me and I don't want them to see me like this neither I want to hear their ideas. As I was walking, deep in the jungle I found a beautiful lake, it was so calm and peaceful here and it looked like it is hardly ever visited by humans or any animals. I decided to sit there for the time. All my energy was drained out but my thoughts still didn't waver from my mate.

All the questions came back, "will I ever be able to be with him? will he accept me and the monster I am? what if he hates me for what happened in my past?" Tears started flowing from my eyes, I wanted him to hold me, to tell me that nobody will ever take him away from me but I knew that won't be happening any time soon and kept sobbing till I felt like I had no more tears left.

I was glad that I was away from everybody else because I don't like to show myself weak in front of anybody and anyway, I have broken down enough in front of Liam and Becky in the past few days. I have always been the one to cry myself to sleep if I had any problems going on. I hate the sympathetic look in the eyes of people for me.

I have always shown myself as a strong girl, who doesn't give a shit about anything. Even the people who care about me have hardly seen me breaking down because I don't want my emotions to burden them. Sometimes I wish that instead of bottling up my feelings I'd be able to share it with someone.

With all the thoughts running through my head I don't know when I fell asleep. When I woke up the sun had started to rise, I ran back home because it was still too early for anybody to be up and see me naked, imagine the news if someone saw me like this. I jumped in my room through my window and straight away went to the bathroom for my daily morning routine.

I walked downstairs when I heard Becky in the kitchen, she had puffy red eyes and she looked really tired, I knew she must have cried all night and I felt so bad for putting her through all the misery. I immediately hugged her and said, "I'm so sorry Becky, I didn't mean to hurt you I just had to vent out my energy or I could have done some serious damage".

She started crying as she hugged me back "I was so worried for you, I get it how hard this is for you but don't be distant from us Enna, not now, we're here for you and we'll do everything in our power to keep you and your mate safe". "I know, I'm sorry Becks, I would have informed you but I left my phone home, I'm sorry", I said to her. She stopped crying and said, "it's okay, just don't do that again". I nodded and kissed her forehead.

I helped her prepare breakfast and as we were setting the table Liam also walked in. My eyes met his, I could see he was worried for me, he came and gave me a tight hug but both of us didn't say anything because he knows that I'm not too much of a talker when it is about my emotions.

When we were leaving, I saw that the living room was almost empty and all the furniture I broke yesterday was removed. I looked at both of them sheepishly, Liam smiled "it's okay, by the time we'll be back from college all the new stuff will be here.

I nodded at him, Becky whispered to me "I never liked the old set anyway, this time I chose the furniture" and winked at me. I just laughed at her and thought thank god our house is soundproof otherwise the neighbors would have had one hell of a night.

From the moment I have stepped inside the campus, my heart is beating like crazy. Liam and Becky didn't want to leave me alone but I assured them that I'll be fine and if I needed any help, I'll straight away call them. All I could think was, what will happen if I see him again. As I was heading towards my class, I heard Violette call out my name.

I turned around and she jogged to me, "what happened Sienna, why did you guys leave? Rebecca just told me that you're not feeling good and you guys have to leave. Are you fine now? You didn't even come for two days?" she questioned non-stop.

"Okay shut up and breathe. I'm fine nothing's wrong with me, I was just a little feverish and felt like going back home so they both took me and they strictly told me to rest and get well, hence no college for two days" I lied to her. She looked at me with narrowed eyes but didn't question me further and we both went for our class.

I and V were bonding well, we chatted non-stop during our classes, even got scolded a few times. I like her, she's weird but is super nice. She knows everybody around us and is aware of everything happening around the campus, I haven't even seen the people before about whom I got all the latest gossip today. She diverted my mind from everything and I was laughing at her stupidity all day. After three long lectures, it was lunchtime and suddenly all my nerves were back and I was so afraid of seeing him again in the cafeteria.

Becky called and told to meet her and Liam outside, saying "it's nice out, meet us there we'll bring your lunch there only and you can bring your friend if you want to". I was so thankful to them for this. We all met outside, but that didn't ease my nerves at all.

I couldn't be a part of their conversation because I was too busy looking around for someone, hell I wasn't even hungry for pizza. Liam held my hand when I looked at him, he whispered "relax, we're here with you", I just nodded at him. I tried to bring my focus to the people sitting with me and I could see that Becky and V were getting along really well.

I was on my way to the class; V didn't share this one with me but I was okay because it was history of lit and I liked it. I was at the door when the strong scent of mint and mosses hit my nose.

I knew what it was, my heart was beating so fast and I could feel the blood rushing through my veins. I wanted to run away because my lycan will go crazy if I had to be near him but I stood there for too long and a whole crowd was behind me by then and my teacher was one of them. He ordered, "all of you, in the class right now". Holy shit.