New Beginings

I woke up to the sun shining bright through my bedroom window. I had no night terrors for the first time in a while. I actually slept peacefully. As I became more awake, I felt as if every bone in my body screamed in agony. Everything hurt. Moving. Breathing. Existing.

I turned to see that Aunt Elena was sleeping on an air mattress placed next to my bed.

My heart filled with joy at the sight of her. She always made me feel loved, safe, and protected. She was the sister my mom never wanted. A failure to society, as my father put it. It didn't matter to my parents, though. Their reputation meant more to them than anything else. They wouldn't be seen as loving or crazy, never. No one outside the house ever knew about the abuse, the neglect, or how cruel my parents truly were. Everyone outside the house thought they were the perfect couple with the perfect family. Everyone always asked my parents how their 'perfect son Elijah and 'perfect daughter Galina were doing?

Galina... My stomach sank just thinking her name.

My sister died just three weeks ago, so yes, I was having a pretty shitty time... I died right along with her in the crash. I know what you're thinking, Elijah, you're not dead... Well yes, I am, just not technically. I'm just a shell of the man I was, hell, the shell of a boy that I once was. The smiling, happy, optimistic one that Galina called her ray of sunshine. As much as I'd like to find the happiness in being alive again, I can't.

Galina was my best friend. No more late-night talks. No more midnight cuddles on hard rain days. No more shopping days out.

I couldn't save her. I should have done something. Anything.

Should have, could have, would have. These three words have taken over my mind since that day. Every day and every night, they replay over and over like a broken record.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Elena asked, rubbing her eyes as she sat up from her bed. "The nurse said if I notice you need any painkillers, I should give you one"

"I'm fine thanks Aunt Ellie."

Elena ran her hands through my hair with a smile. "You look sicker. Should I call the nurse for you?"

"No, I'm fine really, but don't you have to work?"

"They're willing to let me take an indefinite leave with pay till everything is in order."

"Oh."

"Are you hungry?"

"I'm sorry if this sounds rude but... Could you not baby me? I'm still the same person as two weeks ago, Aunt Ellie. Your sixteen-year-old nephew, not your child."

She grabs my crutches and helps me out of bed and hobbles down the stairs

She smiled faintly. "I'm sorry. You're absolutely right."

"It's okay"

"Now, is there anything you want to eat?"

"Honestly, I'm not hungry."

"Elijah. That's the third day this week you haven't eaten. You're going to have to eat sometime."

I shrugged. "I'm not that hungry."

"Fine. What about ice cream?"

A flash of my sister came to mind. Whenever we fought or were depressed, she was always the one to ask me to get us ice cream. A small smile made its way across my lips at the thought.

"Okay, ice cream."

She nodded with a bright smile and got up from her mattress to retrieve two bowls and spoons. She's always been beautiful to me.

For the last week, I've spent a lot of my time laying down on the couch or going outside to enjoy the warm weather. The bruises that were caused by my mother were disappearing, but the ones I know will last for a very long time were not. Well, in all honesty, those will never disappear. It hurts. Still. Painfully. But there isn't a more bearable life. It was worth the pain if she was alive still.

Galina was a beautiful, compassionate, loving, sweet soul. She was smart and could be witty when she wanted to be. I miss my baby sister, every second of my day, and maybe that will be okay in some distant future, but for now, it makes me angry.

I was so stupid not to do anything in the beginning. Now she's dead and there's nothing anyone could do about it, but move forward, regarding Galina. Still, that doesn't mean I ever will.

It was nice spending time with my aunt, who never spent much time with us. Especially since mom and dad wanted Elena to be like them. We used to come and visit her for like three months out of the year. After that, she would return home to work her high-end job as a corporate lawyer. Even back then she was beautiful and seemed like she would make a pretty amazing mom... At least I thought so.

But she took a job halfway across the world at a law firm for a few years where she did a lot of traveling. Not once during this time did, she come to visit us.

Still, when we would visit, she always made time to play with Galina and me and talk to me about everything under the sun. Those times were among my favorite times as a child. And when mom started calling me 'inappropriate names' in front of her Aunt Elena, she'd always defend me saying that they were clearly wrong and my parents were lying about me or she would start yelling at my mom but mostly, we were together laughing and talking so, of course, it was amazing.

"Elijah!" she calls "Ice cream!"

I pull myself up from the bench. A dull ache starting in my left arm and making its way down to my leg where I could feel a pulsing, heavy pain settling in.

"Okay I'm coming," I managed while crutching my way into the kitchen.

"Hurry. You don't want it to melt." She says as she starts running her hands through my hair with a gentle laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"Your hair's getting long. You need a haircut" she says with another laugh. "You're starting to look like a mix between shaggy from Scooby-Doo and Charlie sheen."

"A Charlie sheen or a tiger sheen?"

"Hmm..." She rolls her eyes. "Tiger sheen... The homeless version, Charlie sheen."

I laughed while trying to get comfortable in the chair. "Oh god that hurts." I whisper.

"Pain killer?"

"I'll be okay, thank you, Aunt Ellie."

"Is there anything you need while we're out? The nurse will be here by nine?" she told me as she prepared two bowl of ice cream.

"Can you get me a hair trimmer?"

"There's one in my bathroom, see it above the mirror to your right."

"Alright but I need help cutting my hair."

"Me?"

"We don't have a hairdresser here?" I pointed out.

"Will you show me how to do it?"

"Yes, yes I will, do not give me a mohawk, or I will sue you."

Aunt Elena laughed, handing me my bowl of ice cream and said, "No need. I would actually have to care about something besides my morning coffee to take any kind of action."

"So dramatic." I say taking the bowl from her hands with a laugh.

"As if you can talk." She jokes, taking a bite out of her bowl, causing some ice cream to stick on the sides of her mouth.

"That reminds me." She continued, popping the spoon from her mouth before picking up the bowl again. "I need to find a therapist for you. You've been though a lot for only being sixteen."

"I'm fine." I snap "Seriously, I don't need therapy."

"Elijah." She says the seriousness in her tone telling me she's not asking but in a matter-of-fact telling me what will happen. "I don't like being pushy with anything but I honestly think this is important for you. It will be someone you can talk to that won't judge you for anything that's happened or is happening right now."

"I just don't see why it would help me or be a good idea."

"Why wouldn't it help you?"

"I could give you millions of reasons, but my top is that therapists are supposed to help me remember what happened, I can remember it perfectly. There is no need to open up about anything to a complete stranger. I've lived my life in secret, telling no one about it, and I still live it that way now. Well at least until-"

"Lina."

"Yes, I really wish I could have saved her." I replied fighting back the tears at the loss of my sister.

She patted my shoulder, getting up from her chair. "I understand. And I know my nephew, I know all too well of all your troubles. Anyway, I really should get going. Just lay low as usual." She spoke.

"Thanks for the ice cream, Aunt Ellie." I murmur after she plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Anytime, baby."