First Steps

It was hours later, exiting the great hall to be greeted by darkness, before I finally unlocked the door to my new home, followed by Lydia, who I'd barely had an opportunity to share two words with. It had been a long day. After the ceremony, I shared lunch with the jarl and nobles of the city. It was no ordinary lunch as the event lasted for hours, over many courses and too many tankards of mead, if I'm honest. Of course, I was also centre of attention, receiving numerous questions about my life prior to walking through the gates of Whiterun. Considering my new titles, I left nothing out. My humble beginnings as I grew up on a farm. My time with the Fighters Guild in Chorrol. My journey to and subsequent arrest on arrival in Skyrim. My survival through Helgen. And also my original intention of why I had journeyed to Skyrim in the first place. That was the only thing that caused most of them to go quiet.

"And what do you think now, Dragonborn?" the jarl asked.

I knew this was a touchy subject, especially in Whiterun, the town split in two over support for the Empire and support for the Stormcloaks. I hadn't learned of anything so far to change my mind. But I didn't want to offend the jarl and could even understand the reasons for neutrality.

"I'll be honest, sir. I'm not really sure any more. I left my farm, what feels like so long ago, simply intent on coming to Skyrim and joining the Stormcloaks. But after everything that has happened, even just in the past day, I'm not sure that's even my fight. Do I want a free Skyrim?" I shrugged. "I don't think wanting to be an independent kingdom and being able to worship who we please is a bad thing." I heard murmurs of discontent. I held up a hand to forestall too many arguments. "But I have also spoken with some of you who support the Empire and I can understand your argument as well. I did not grow up in Skyrim. I may be a Nord but I am an outsider in the grand scheme of events to have taken place."

"So what will you do?" Jon Battle-Born asked. I knew of the bitter dispute between his families, though I had earned his friendship over many tankards at the Bannered Mare.

"Regarding the war between the Empire and Stormcloaks? For now, absolutely nothing. If I'm truly the Dragonborn, I can see myself being a pawn in their war. So I won't allow myself to be one."

"Where does your loyalty lie then?" Vignar Gray-Mane asked.

I looked at Vignar before turning towards the jarl. "Jarl Balgruuf was right about one thing during the ceremony. My name should now be Ragnar of Whiterun. My loyalty lies with this city and its people. And I will defend it and them until my last breath."

"Bah, then you are nothing but an Imperial sympathiser," Vignar added.

"Enough. We won't have talk of the war ruin this day," the Jarl called.

"I apologise, my jarl. I were merely providing honest answers to questions raised," I stated.

"And I appreciate that honesty, Dragonborn. It's just any talk of the war usually leads to disagreement and arguments."

Thankfully the table changed the course of conversation and the rest of the day and early evening progressed relatively peacefully. Plenty of guests staggered out of the great hall when the event finally finished, receiving so many handshakes that my hand actually start to hurt.

Breezehome was a cosy little place. I wasn't expecting a palace and didn't want one. It was nice having my own room to sleep in after spending the past few weeks bunking in Jorrvaskr. A fire provided plenty of light and heat in the living area downstairs with a dining area towards the back. Upstairs was the master bedroom where there was an empty weapons plaque above my bed. I immediately attached the axe I'd received on it. There was a second bedroom which I assumed was for my new housecarl, Lydia.

Tour over, I took a seat near the fire next to my housecarl and, to be honest, cast an eye over her. Brunette hair cut shoulder length, two braids framing her face. Dark brown eyes. Full lips which were more colourful than I was used to. I'll admit, she was pretty. I was surprised that she was dressed in armour and was ready to suggest she slip into something more comfortable, then realised that would sound suggestive.

"Do you need anything, my thane?"

"Ragnar."

"Pardon?"

"My name is Ragnar."

A confused look crossed her face. "I am your housecarl. It is merely a sign of respect for you and your position."

"Okay, I'm obviously new to all of this. What does a housecarl do?"

"I have spent years training under Irileth ready to serve the next Thane of Whiterun. I am sworn to protect you as your sword and your shield. I…"

I held up a hand to interrupt her, feeling slightly guilty as she obviously took her role incredibly seriously. "Okay. I get it. You're not exactly a servant, which I certainly don't want. So you're some sort of helper cum bodyguard. But let's be honest. I'm apparently this mystical Dragonborn and I can obviously look after myself." A hurt look crossed her face so I smiled. "But I'm certainly not saying I don't appreciate or want the help. So, I guess the only question I have is, do you like adventure?"

She smiled and nodded. "Yes, my thane."

"Good. Because we depart for High Hrothgar first thing tomorrow morning."

We talked for at least an hour, asking each other plenty of questions, simply getting to know each other, before I yawned and bade her goodnight. I'll admit, I slept well that night. There's sometimes no greater joy than a peaceful night's sleep in your very own bed. I woke and dressed the next morning, almost stumbling down the stairs to find Lydia standing at the fire, cooking us breakfast.

"Morning, Lydia."

"Good morning, my thane. Did you sleep well?"

I was going to argue about the use of my name but figured I should already give up. 'If it makes her comfortable, so be it.' "I slept like a log. You?"

"I have no complaints."

'And you wouldn't complain even if you did.' "What's for breakfast?"

"Potato soup. I've also purchased some bread and cheese from the tavern for our journey to High Hrothgar."

I took a seat, warming myself next to the fire. It had been a cold night despite the abundance of furs. "How well do you know the area?"

"Not very well. I've spent most of my life in Whiterun. I've had no reason to travel around Skyrim."

"Okay. We're probably going to need a map to find a route to High Hrothgar. I'll also need to speak to Kodlak and let him know what I'll be doing. Not that I need to excuse or justify myself, but I respect the man and his position so figure I should."

"Do you own a horse, my thane?" I shook my head. "Perhaps this journey would be best taken on horseback?"

I nodded my agreement. "I'll stop at the stables and purchase one. I certainly have enough coin now. Do you own one?"

"I do. I've had years of training to ride a horse."

After shovelling soup into my mouth in a way that certainly didn't befit my position as thane, I left Lydia to purchase one or two more things, including a map, for our journey as I visited my friends in Jorrvaskr. Farkas and Vilkas was breaking their fast at one of the long tables near the fire, greeting me with a friendly 'hello'. I ran into Aela downstairs, who couldn't help but refer to me as 'Dragonborn' after I greeted her, before I found Kodlak sitting in his usual position outside his bedroom. He gestured to me silently for me to take a seat, fixing me with a stare before nodding to himself.

"So, Dragonborn… It's been a very long time since I've heard someone called that. I take it this has all come as a bit of a shock, Ragnar?"

"That's an understatement, sir. But that's why I'm here. I have a question."

"I'll attempt to answer, if possible."

"What do you know of the Dragonborn?"

"Probably nothing more than what others have already told you. I have read books of those purported to be those of the dragon blood. There are those recorded before the Septim Dynasty but the first Dragonborn myself and many other know of would be old Tiber Septim himself. By wearing the Amulet of Kings, it was only they who kept the Dragonfires lit and Tamriel safe from invasion. You are aware of Martin Septim being the last Septim?" I nodded. "That in itself is interesting. Do you know your own history or blood line?"

"No. My father was from Skyrim; my mother was from Cyrodil. I never even knew my grandparents. But… Are you saying, somewhere in the distant past, I may be related to the Septim bloodline?"

"That is something I cannot answer, Ragnar. However, there were those of the dragon blood before the Septim dynasty. There are those who believe the dragon blood is a gift bestowed by Akatosh himself, that to receive the dragon blood is simply a gift from the Gods. But there is also the prophecy, that the last Dragonborn is sent to Tamriel at the return of the dragons and whose destiny is to destroy Aldiun and save the world."

I sat back and ran a hand down my face. 'This is way too much.' "When I left Chorrol, all I wanted to do was return home to the land of my fathers and become a warrior. Now I may have our entire existence resting on my shoulders."

"So what do you plan on doing?"

"I will travel to High Hrothgar immediately. So I guess that means my time with the Companions will end, at least for the time being."

"I think we would all understand, Ragnar. There are events now taking place far more important than a few contracts that Skjor or Vilkas could offer. All I can do is wish you good luck on your quest and that I hope you find the answers you need."

"Thank you, sir," I stated. We gripped each other, hand to forearm, before I left without a backwards glance, unsure if I'd ever work with the Companions again.

*****

I owned my first horse. It was black, had four legs, a tail and was… well, a horse. In addition to never owning, I'd also never ridden one before and simply getting in the saddle was difficult enough, ignoring the laughter of my housecarl as it took at least three or four attempts before I managed to adjust myself comfortably enough in the saddle.

"Are you sure you'll be alright, sir?" Skulvar asked.

"I'll be fine. I'll learn as we ride. Right, Lydia?"

"If you say so, my thane." She looked as convinced as her tone. To be honest, I didn't really blame her.

"You should be fine if you keep her at a slow trot, sir. I would suggest you don't get her into a gallop or canter until you're more experienced."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"It's all in your thighs, sir. That is what will keep you upright. And, remember, only dig into the ribs once, twice at most, to get the horse to amble along. Any more and the horse will pick up speed. To slow down, simply pull on the reins. The horse will understand what you want. What are you going to call her?"

"I wouldn't have a clue. Lydia?"

She was quiet for a few seconds, doing that thing of looking into the distance as she thought. Then she smiled as her eyes met my own. 'Ah, mischief.' "Sooty."

"Sooty?" I asked with a laugh.

"Yes, my thane. It's not a warhorse so it can have a… nice name."

"I was thinking something like Shadow but…" I shrugged, "Sooty it is." Then I groaned. "The Dragonborn goes into a fight against a dragon riding Sooty. That'll be a song to remember," I mumbled under my breath.

"Anything else, sir?" Skulvar asked.

"No. I think we're good to go. Lydia?"

"I'm ready when you are, my thane."

With hearty thanks to Skulvar for his help, I gently kicked the horse in the ribs and thankfully she understood the request and she started walking along, hearing Lydia urge her own horse on at the same time. She had her horse join in alongside me as we passed the farms to our right. The sun was still rising in the sky so I knew we had plenty of sunlight left to make our destination of Ivarstead. Lydia had explained everything once I'd returned from Jorrvaskr. She'd purchased a map of the holds we'd be travelling through, more provisions as we both assumed we'd be gone for longer than a couple of days and also two thick fur coats as the weather towards the top of the mountain could only be extreme in its cold.

The vast plains of Whiterun were left behind as we passed through the crossroads and crossed the bridge over the White River, which we would follow until we turned off the main road towards Ivarstead. We both knew this could be a treacherous journey. Roads were safer during the day, though bandits could always be a problem, and climbing the mountain pass may lead us into packs of wild animals. We were both armed and ready for anything but I assumed that both of us hoped the journey could pass without too much incident.

By mid-morning we were passing through a valley, the river to our left far below us as the mountain to our right almost shaded us from the sun. 'And we have to somehow get to the top of that. Insanity!' Ahead were what I now knew as Valtheim Towers, thankfully now empty of the bandits that had once been living there, robbing trade caravans and being a nuisance. I had taken care of them with Farkas and Vilkas a week or so before after the Companions had received a contact to clear the towers out.

"Will I be allowed into High Hrothgar?" Lydia asked, the road we were travelling along now descending to sea level.

I shrugged. "I have no idea. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I could end up walking all the way up there with you and then have to wait outside."

"Good point. But if they've requested my presence, they may assume I would bring someone along for help. Or just company for the seven thousand steps."

"Do you think it's really seven thousand?"

I shrugged again. "No idea. But the jarl said he'd completed the pilgrimage once as a younger man."

"So I assume we're going up by foot?"

"I don't think taking horses will be a good idea. The jarl mentioned the path can get quite narrow in places. Considering the conditions, snow and ice under foot will make it difficult enough for us."

"Okay."

"You're not worried, Lydia?"

"No, my thane. I just want to be prepared for any eventuality."

"We'll be fine," I said confidently. I'll admit that my tone didn't match how I felt this time. I didn't think we'd die climbing the mountain, though thought people probably had before. All I wanted to do was climb the mountain as quickly as possible and find out what the Greybeards wanted. If I was the Dragonborn. 'And what if I am? What do I do then?'

We ambled along for a while longer before crossing another stone bridge, a crumbling fort in the distance to my left and a sign that caused me to pull the reins for my horse to halt. Lydia came to a stop beside me. "Something wrong, my thane?"

"Is this the route?" I asked, pointing up the steep dirt track.

"Let me consult the map," she replied, looking through her pack and finally finding it, steering her horse closer to me. "Okay, I think we're here," she stated, pointing with her index finger, "No. No. This isn't the route we want to take. Well, I certainly wouldn't recommend it."

"So where do we make the turn?"

She slid her finger along the map until she stopped. "There. I think that's Darkwater Crossing. It's a small mining settlement. See that road? That should take us directly to Ivarstead."

"Darkwater Crossing? I remember that name. That's where Jarl Ulfric was captured by the Legion."

"How did you end up in that mess?"

"I'd already been arrested. I wasn't even involved yet they still wanted to execute me." I shrugged. "It doesn't matter now."

I kicked the horse forward and we continued our journey. "Do you still want to fight for the Stormcloaks?" Lydia finally asked after a few minutes' silence. I guess she was trying to find the confidence to ask it. She may be my servant in all but name, but as far as I was concerned, I'd also consider her my confidant.

"In here," I replied, placing a hand over my heart, "Yes. From what I know, and even I can admit I know little, I still agree with the reasons why. But in here," I added, pointing to my head, "Then no. Things have changed. I am now a citizen of Whiterun. They are now my people. I already have many friends there. My home is now there. I don't want to do anything to destroy that."

That seemed to satisfy if not make her happy. And it was also true. Deep down inside, I felt torn by my original plan of signing up to fight, and also my new thought of remaining loyal to Whiterun. But I shook my head and squashed those feelings down. The most important thing to worry about was the dragon crisis. Solve that first then worry about anything else.

We rode into the outskirts of Darkwater Crossing after a quick lunch of bread and cheese. It was a small settlement, no more than handful of dwellings and what appeared to be a functioning mine. But there didn't appear to be any sort of shop so didn't bother stopping, riding past and finding the sign for the road up to Ivarstead.

Our journey had been peaceful so far but that ended not long after turning off the main road. We crested a rise, my horse in front, when I pulled it to an abrupt stop.

"What is it?�� Lydia asked from behind. I waved her forward, not turning my eyes away from the beast ahead. "Shor's bones. That bear is enormous," she whispered.

"You have a bow?" I asked quietly. She nodded. "Take it out slowly. I'll do the same."

"What do we do?"

"Bears will only defend their territory. They are not aggressive animals, despite what you may have heard. Let's just wait and see. I don't particularly want to kill it."

The bear watched us as intently as we watched it. I heard it growl once or twice but it didn't appear to be trying to intimidate us. If it stood on its hind legs, then I knew we might be in trouble. But it didn't come towards us at all. I made sure I looked relaxed, glancing at Lydia to ensure she was doing the same. We waited a few minutes, perhaps longer, before the bear finally turned away from the path and disappeared into the trees. I couldn't help but sigh with relief when it did.

"How did you know?" Lydia asked.

I shrugged. "I've never found them dangerous. Don't get me wrong; they are wild beasts and not to be trifled with, but when it comes to animals, I have a live and let live policy. Well, except for those animals which make some tasty food."

We continued on, eyes now scanning the horizon and our surroundings in case any other wild animal decided we would make a tasty lunch but the journey remained peaceful as we continued to climb. Conversation halted as we rode single file, though that's not to say there wasn't plenty of noise. The raging river beside us. The many sounds of the forest. The wind rustling the leaves of the trees. Howls of wolves appeared to echo around us, though we saw none nearby.

We forded the river sometime later, the sun starting to lower and a slight chill starting to develop and I knew we'd have to stay in Ivarstead overnight before attempting the path to High Hrothgar early in the morning. Plus, I figured the villagers may have plenty of information about what to expect on our journey and may have hints and tips to help our survival.

My mind was off in the clouds, and though I kept an eye on where we were going and our surroundings, I wasn't really paying attention. It wasn't until I heard Lydia shout from behind me that I brought my horse to a halt and finally heard what caused her to shout.

An arrow flew past my ear, landing where it had been intended, into the chest of the troll. The arrow clearly angered it, the troll leaping in the air, waving its arms around furiously. I managed to get off my horse without falling over, drawing my sword from its scabbard, calling for Lydia to join me immediately. I heard her footsteps rush forward, glad to see she was now armed the same I was.

"What's the plan?" she asked, taking a deep breath to stoke her courage.

"Flank it. I'll go straight for it. You cut into it from the side. They're tough, though. This will take a few swings."

She nodded without a word and slowly moved left. I made straight for the troll. A troll was not a wild beast, noble and proud but fierce like the bear we had met before. A troll was nothing but a monster. I had no problem killing monsters. It swung its arms wildly at me, causing me to take a step back, raising my shield to block the swing of its right arm. That caused me to stagger slightly, realising the power the troll had in its arms. I stabbed at the troll, cutting its side, which did nothing but anger it and it retaliated with another swing. I managed to block it in time but I nearly lost my footing completely.

Lydia came to the rescue, hitting the troll from the side, cutting deep into its arm and drawing a lot of blood. She swung again and again as the troll turned towards her. Before it could swing its arms, I charged forward with my shield, crashing into it, causing it to stumble while I almost followed it. I swung my sword wildly, feeling the steel hit skin and eventually muscle again and again, the troll replying again with another wild flailing of its limbs. I took a few steps back and took a deep breath, glancing at Lydia.

"Together!" I yelled and we descended upon the troll at the same time. I took a hit to my arm and felt a cut from its claws, blood oozing down my arm immediately. I ignored the pain and replied in kind, driving my sword into the side of the troll, causing the monster to cry out in pain. Lydia then followed my example, driving her sword in from the other side, causing another cry. Unable to withdraw my sword, I placed my shield between myself and the troll and pushed forward, urging Lydia to do the same. We pushed it back until it hit the wall of its cave before I slammed my shield into the monster again and again until I could hear the troll struggling for breath. I kept my shield up as I finally managed to withdraw my sword, taking a step back to see the troll was now gravely injured.

"May I do it, my thane?" Lydia asked. I looked across to see her face spattered with blood. She looked at me and I nodded. She fell upon the troll, driving her sword high into its chest. I'm sure there was some warrior term fancier than to say it was the killing blow, but I don't know of such a term. All I know is that she stood over the troll for a moment in silence, revelling in her triumph. She then turned, a look of concern.

"Your arm, my thane!"

"It's nothing, Lydia."

"But…"

"We're probably not far from Ivarstead. We'll sort it out there, okay? For now, I'll just wrap it in something to stop the bleeding."

She didn't look particularly happy but argued no further. We checked the cave and found the bodies of two Stormcloaks. Finding bodies wasn't surprising, and I actually felt sorry for them after finding the note on the second body. 'So much for only being a couple of wolves. Poor bastards.' Apart from the remains of a few elk or deer, we got back in the saddle and completed our trek into Ivarstead without further hassle.

"This is a quiet little village," Lydia commented when we entered Ivarstead, the afternoon now turning to dusk.

"I take it you've never been here?"

"No. Never."

"We should see if there's an inn for the night."

We passed a couple of farms, workers still tilling the fields, no doubt counting down the time until the sun finally disappeared and they could retire for the night, with a mill to our right quiet for the moment, though there was an elf busy chopping firewood, singing to himself as he lowered the axe time and again. We tied up our horses outside the inn and walked inside to see one or two tables occupied but the counter clear of customers.

"Hello, travellers. Welcome to the Vilemyr Inn. My name is Wilhelm. What would you like?"

"Do you have any rooms for the night?"

"Ah, do you plan on heading up the seven thousand steps?"

"How did you know?"

"Pilgrims such as yourself often stay here of an evening before journeying up the mountain in the morning. I assume that is what you are in Ivarstead for?"

I nodded. "Right you are."

"I have one room available. Would you each like a meal too?"

I looked at Lydia, who nodded. "Yes, one meal each and we'll no doubt enjoy one or two tankards of meads too."

"Very good. The room is to your right. I hope it will suffice."

I looked at Lydia again, who said nothing, so I said it was. Once we'd settled on an amount, I handed Wilhelm a small pouch of coin before heading outside to grab our gear. Once in our room, Lydia finally said something.

"There's only one bed."

"So?"

"I'll… sleep on the floor then."

"That's absolutely not necessary." Then I paused and figured I'd just ask her straight. "Are you embarrassed or uncomfortable by the fact there is only one bed?"

"Honestly, neither. It's just that you're my thane and���"

"Lydia, I know we haven't known each other that long but do you trust me?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Truly?"

She nodded emphatically.

"Then, rest assured, my intentions are nothing but noble." She opened her mouth, no doubt to argue that wasn't what she meant. And I already knew that. "We're two adults. We can't share a bed without it being an issue. Right?"

She was silent for a few seconds, no doubt thinking. Thankfully, she didn't sigh, like she'd given up. Instead, she smiled. "Of course, my thane."

"Good. Now that all this has been settled, why don't we enjoy a meal and a few drinks?"

After enjoying a hearty but simple meal, we spoke with the inhabitants of Ivarstead to gain an understanding of what we may face on our journey up the mountain. Apart from the weather, which we knew was always going to worsen the further up we headed, we were also warned of the wild animals we may come across and also things such as ice wraiths. I'd never heard of such creatures but was warned they could be incredibly dangerous.

We also shared a tankard of mead with a man named Klimmek, who approached us upon hearing of our intention to journey the next morning. He asked if we could take a package to High Hrothgar for him. Hearing it was a package of supplies that he often delivered to the Greybeards, for no compensation other than he felt compelled to do it, I happily agreed to help him.

We headed to bed earlier than normal, knowing we needed to leave as early as possible the next morning. Thankfully the room had a door for some privacy though I could see Lydia was still unsure. She looked happier that I kept a shirt and a thin pair of trousers on and also that there were two sets of furs on the bed so wouldn't have a to share. I got into bed first and settled on one side before I felt Lydia do the same. I could feel that she was staying as close to the edge as possible.

"You'll fall off if you're not careful," I stated quietly.

"I'm fine," she whispered, "Goodnight, my thane."

"Goodnight, Lydia."

I waited until I heard her breathing change to know she was asleep. Happy that she wasn't going to move onto the floor while I slept, I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to come for myself.