Revelations

"Who is she?"

I blinked rapidly, knowing I was a million miles away, glancing to see Aela standing in the doorway to Kodlak's quarters, leaning against the doorframe with an enormous smirk on her lips. "Huh?" I asked in return, confused as to what she was talking about. Well, I did know but...

"Ragnar, there is only one reason a man would sit in silence with that sort of stupid grin on his face. So, I'll ask again. Who is she?"

I cleared my throat, feeling my cheeks heat up. "No-one. I don't know what you're talking about."

She laughed. "Come now, Ragnar. All you're going to get is many questions from myself or the others. Best come clean now."

I sighed and simply shrugged. "Fine. But it's no-one you would know."

"Ah, she's not a local then."

"No."

"Thought Lydia may have finally told you how she obviously feels. I don't think I'm misinterpreting that."

I shrugged again. "Then she's going to be disappointed."

"So…" She then gestured with her hand. "Details…"

"There's not a lot to tell. I met her the other day. I rescued her."

She grinned. "Ah, a damsel in distress?"

"Something like that."

"You're not giving me a lot here, Ragnar."

"There's not a lot to tell. I rescued her. Then I escorted her home. And I'll probably never see her again."

"Oh… Why not?"

"There are reasons why."

"And they are?"

"Well, her family lives a long way away."

"Is that all?"

"There's something else. Something big. Something which…" I sighed. "Something I have no control over. She is who she is. Even then… I can't get her out of my head."

I glanced at Aela, who chewed on my words for a few seconds. "What is she, a vampire or something?" The looked I returned would have spoken volumes. "Oh…" I shrugged. "Oh…" She paused again, probably thinking of which question to ask first. "How…"

"How did we meet?" She nodded. "I was doing a job for the Dawnguard. She was asleep in some tomb for who knows how long. She woke up, we talked, I helped her get home."

I noticed the raised eyebrows. "You helped a vampire?"

"She didn't try and kill me. Actually helped me kill other vampires. She was nice. Friendly. And she was gorgeous. Absolutely… She was just beautiful. First impressions count, right?" Aela nodded. "But then getting to know her, even just a little bit… So easy to talk to. I completely forgot she was who she is most of the time."

"And you just took her home?"

"Took a couple of days. We talked a lot during that time. She called me 'her saviour'."

"And now you're in love with her?" I nodded. She was silent for a while. Then I noticed a shrug. "Sometimes we can't help who we fall in love with."

I met her eyes and they appeared honest. I smiled a little. "Thanks."

"I just… I wouldn't tell anyone else. But you can trust me. I won't say a word."

"Thanks again. But there's nothing to worry about. As I said, I probably won't see her again. And I have a lot of others things to worry about. That's why I called you in here. Where are the other two?"

"They should be here in a minute. They had to deal with an issue between two Companions. There was… a falling out."

"Anything I need worry about?"

"As you said, while you're not here, we can make sure the ship runs smoothly. We certainly won't bother you with the petty trifles that occasionally befalls even the best of us."

The twins appeared a couple of minutes later, the conversation between Aela and I, as promised, only between the pair of us. Once we were all seated, I started on why we were here to begin with. "Right, I'm not sure you may know, so I'll explain what's happening. The Jarl and I are trying to put together a peace conference between the Empire and Stormcloaks. The Jarl is currently in negotiation with both parties and we're hopeful an agreement to simply meet and discuss terms will be resolved shortly. The place of the meeting will be High Hrothgar."

"The Greybeards are involving themselves?" Farkas asked, utter surprise in his tone.

"Not because they wanted to, trust me on that. But it was one if not only option available. I'm hoping the Greybeards will carry the respect their name deserves."

"And where do the Companions fit in?" Vilkas wondered.

"Two things. One. I want the Companions of the Circle in the meeting itself. Not to do any speaking. I want you patrolling the perimeter and looking as intimidating as possible. Like the Greybeards, you will be neutral but they know you are only there because I've requested it. The rest of the Companions can run security, checking for weapons, ensuring everything else runs smoothly."

The three shared a glance. I knew what they would say. "Harbinger, the Companions have never involved themselves in the politics of others. Why now?" Farkas asked.

"A fair question. But one I can answer. Just like the Greybeards, we have sat back and watched events unfold, doing little to affect the outcome. I know most if not all of you are not political. But the Dragonborn is now your Harbinger. And I too am being dragged into things I'd rather not deal with. But the main point is this. Whiterun is our home, yours and mine. Both sides, the Empire and the Stormcloaks, threaten the neutrality of our home. I will ask you this; if Whiterun were attacked tomorrow, what would you do?"

The three shared glances once again. "We would fight," Vilkas finally stated.

"And those attacking would taste Skyforge steel, here on the streets of Whiterun and later on the streets of whichever city they are from," Farkas added.

"Exactly. There will come a time where we will have to involved, one way or the other. I say better be involved with the Companions on the front foot, rather than wait until the enemy is at the gates. This way, you will also meet the leaders of each faction and I'm counting on your opinions afterwards. I want you to assess what they say but also who they are as leaders. You followed Kodlak as if he were a general. I'm hoping you can look at Tullius and Ulfric through the same eyes and tell me anything which may help going forward."

"And the intimidating bit?" Aela asked.

"Oh, I know just getting them to High Hrothgar will be a victory in itself. I know what's going to happen once we actually sit down and start negotiating. All I want them to do is sign a piece of paper stating the war is done until the dragon crisis is over. But I know each will want something from the other. I hope to put any of thoughts to an end immediately."

"They may leave without being given something in return," Farkas stated.

I pondered his words and figured there was at least an element of truth, finally nodding. "You may be right. But I know both sides will play hardball. They're going to meet a brick wall when they face the Dragonborn."

"So no favouritism towards Jarl Ulfric?" Vilkas asked.

"None whatsoever. I am as Whiterun. Completely neutral. Last thing. I'm not actually ordering you, any of you, to do this. That's not how the Companions work, just like Kodlak said when I joined. I'm asking if you can help me. If you don't want to involve yourselves, I understand. But if you can help me, you'll have one very grateful Harbinger."

The three shared a glance. "When do you need us?" Farkas asked.

I could help the smile. "I'll let you know once I have word from the Jarl that both sides are in agreement."

"Give the word, Harbinger, and the Companions will be there in force. Was there anything else you needed?" Vilkas asked.

"Not at the moment."

"We'll await your word then."

The twins departed, leaving me alone with Aela once again. I was simply going to head back to Breezehome but I knew her well enough to know when she had something on her mind. But it was that twinkle I saw occasionally that had me wondering. "Yes?" I simply asked.

She actually blushed, ever so slightly, so my suspicion was confirmed. "I was thinking… Remember that conversation was had a while ago, about hunting through the forest and then afterwards…" I raised an eyebrow but said nothing. She cleared her throat. "The man I love is not here. The woman you now claim to love is not here. And we've found companionship in each other before, I guess because we were lonely, perhaps had a physical attraction at the very least. Am I incorrect?"

"Not at all. Don't sell yourself short either. You're a fearsome warrior, with the scars to show for it. I should know as I've seen them all. And I find you very easy to talk to. I like that. Oh… And I also adore redheads."

She blushed again. "I was thinking… One last night before we moved on as simply friends who no longer shared a bed, or furs, or wherever we ended up... Would you find that disagreeable?"

"When?"

She actually looked startled by my quick reply. "Oh, I didn't…"

I chuckled. "You thought I'd say no?"

She shrugged. "Well, you have been awkward about our physical relationship every now and then…"

"There were reasons. But I… Well, I've enjoyed our time together."

"So have I."

"So… When?"

"Tomorrow?"

"I'll meet you after breakfast."

We met at the stables the next morning, the sun already warming our backs once we'd saddled and mounted our horses. We rode towards Falkreath, Aela suggesting the game in the woods was perfect for a days hunting, hoping to snag a large elk to sell its furs and meat at the market. We rode slowly, chatting away about the most inconsequential of things though sharing a few private thoughts we'd never shared before. In a way, this was the end of our relationship so I guess we were getting some things off our chest. Not about each other. I think or hope we would still hold affection for each other going forward. I know I would. Aela wasn't my first but she was certainly the first woman I cared for… Let me clarify that, the first woman I care for who I also slept with.

We ended up following a road around a lake. Tying our horses to a tree, armed with bow and arrow, we entered the forest, searching for game. We used our heightened senses to sniff out what we wanted, ensuring each step taken was quiet, not stepping on a twig at an inopportune moment. We didn't speak, only swapping hand gestures when needed, delving deeper and deeper into the forest. I could definitely smell something, Aela gesturing the same and where she thought it was.

It was a giant stag. A real beast. As slowly and carefully as possible we approached it, making sure we stayed out of its eye line and not making a sound. I tried not to even breathe as I took cover behind a giant tree. Lifting my bow, I had the stag in my sights, glancing at Aela again. The smallest of gestures and I counted down in my head from three.

I loosed as did Aela. The stag looked up but it was already too late, the two arrows hitting in the perfect spot. The stag would still run, they away did, as arrows would never kill immediately. But where we had it, we knew it wouldn't be long at all.

We followed the trail of blood and found the stag no more than five minutes later. It was still in its death throes as we came upon it. I took the dagger from my belt and knelt down beside the stag, calming the giant beast. It would likely still take some time to die and I didn't want it to continue to suffer. So I made sure I gave it a quick death. I then closed the eyes of the stag.

"This will bring plenty of coin at the market," Aela stated.

I looked at her. "And I suppose I'm going to have to carry this back?"

"I've got rope. If we can find a long enough log, we can tie it up and both carry it."

It took time to find a log long and strong enough to take the weight, but our search was successful. Once we'd tied the stag, we both groaned as we lifted it onto a shoulder and began the slow journey back to our horses. "Where will we camp?" I asked along the way.

"I already know where. Trust me."

"Ah, had this planned, have you?"

She looked back at me and I gulped as the eyes said everything. "For quite a while, actually."

After we tied the stag to the back of my horse, we rode another few miles or so before we turned off into the forest again, following a not so well-worn path for at least another half-mile before we arrived into a clearing. The sun was already dipping but I could still see clearly enough. It was very small, trees ringing what appeared to be an almost perfect circle. I wondered how it was created. There were signs of previous camping as there was the remnants of a campfire though nothing else.

"What do you think, Ragnar?"

"It's beautiful." It was. Besides the campsite, the colours on display were magnificent, rings of flowers flowing towards the treeline.

"If you pitch our tent, I'll cook us dinner."

Dinner was simple enough fare but I knew that is not what we were here for. We sat back next to the roaring campfire, enjoying a fine bottle of mead when, well, she simply leapt on me. My bottle went flying and I must have cried out in surprise as she laughed at me. But the look in her eyes was all I needed to see to know what was going to happen next.

I think we both saw the stars shine that night.

This… this was probably my best night in Skyrim since I crossed the border from Cyrodil. But I'll admit one thing. The only regret I have from that time is, while I cared for her deeply, I didn't love her. That depth of feeling just wasn't there. But she knew that. Much as I know she cared for me as well, but still loved another. But we were adults and could deal with that. We had fun. We respected each other. And the sex was fantastic.

The next morning was not as awkward as I thought it would be. We packed up camp, made sure the fire was out and then she simply thanked me for an enjoyable evening. Then she added something which heartened me.

"If you ever need my sword, Ragnar, know that you have it. No matter what. If you call, I'll answer."

*****

There is one thing every warrior hates. Boredom. There is only so much training one can do before you hit something that doesn't need hitting. We warriors are like coiled springs, ready to explode into action at a moment's notice. We live for the fight, the battle and the expectation of honour and glory to be won. Sitting around, twiddling our thumbs, it's enough to drive anyone mad.

I was bored out of my skull with next to nothing to do. Putting together the conference was taking too long, in my mind at least, though others may be inclined to disagree. I'd travelled to and from Riften, visiting Isran at Fort Dawnguard to update him on what I'd found. I lied through my teeth, stating there was little there, though I did mention that a Scroll may be involved, but only learning that from the vampires I'd killed. He didn't seem particularly upset about the sacking of the Hall of the Vigilant, though I guess I shouldn't have been that surprised considering what I already knew of the man. Otherwise, he told me there were no further jobs at the moment and knew I had other issues to deal with. He would send a courier whenever he needed me next.

I knew it would take time to set up the conference but, in my mind, it was becoming a joke. Lydia was almost walking on eggshells around me at times, so foul was my mood. I made sure to apologise whenever I snapped. It certainly wasn't her fault.

One morning I woke up, dressed in armour and stormed out of the house without even contemplating breakfast. My wits were at an end and I needed, no, wanted news. Everyone moved out of my way when I walked towards the market and past the Gildergreen, figuring I had a face like thunder though I wasn't going to apologise for being annoyed. The quicker we had agreement on a treaty, cease-fire or whatever you wanted to call it, the quicker I could capture a dragon and figure out how to end Alduin.

The guards saw me coming and I shouldn't have been surprised they blocked the door. I probably looked ready to commit murder.

"Thane Ragnar," one of them stated.

"Dragonborn," the other.

"What brings you to Dragonsreach?" the first guard asked, suspicious but friendly enough.

I blinked and knew why they were looking worried. So I threw them my easiest smile. "Relax, gentleman. I merely wish to ask the Jarl of progress made in regards to our plans for a conference."

The two shared another glance, shrugged, and moved aside. "You'll find the Jarl on his throne or upstairs. A word of warning. His mood matches your own, it seems."

"No word?"

"None that we've heard of. Of course, we're not privy to all details, but we hear enough."

"Thanks."

The jarl wasn't at his throne. In fact, the entire hall was empty of life. I glanced to my right when passing, seeing Farengar leaning over his arcane enchanter, so there was at least someone in the hall. Not wanting to bother him with the inane question of 'Where is everyone?' I simply headed upstairs and into an argument not of my making. Well, perhaps it was…

"We have the men to secure the fort, my jarl. Now is the time to show our strength."

"No, Irileth. The situation is already precarious as it is. They are almost on the verge of agreeing terms."

"How would we finally taking control of that fort break any clause?"

"We're neutral and have to act like it. If I send a fighting force to take that fort, then I just know either the Empire or Stormcloaks will take issue with it."

"Why don't I try and take it as a neutral party?" I offered, causing both of them to look up and at me in shock, clearly not noticing my arrival.

"Dragonborn, I had no idea," Irileth stated apologetically, "Maybe you can make the jarl see reason."

"Irileth…" the jarl said quietly.

She continued unabashed. "My Jarl, you know I would not give this advice without thinking of the consequences. Now is the time to strike. A show of strength before the conference will help your negotiating position."

The jarl finally sighed, leaning against the table. Then he looked at me. "What do you think, Ragnar?"

I shrugged. "I've often wondered why you don't have a force there already. Perfect position for any force wanting to approach from the west. You have the river to the east and only that one bridge to cross, so that's easily defensible. To the north you have the outpost that would easily warn us of any approaching force. But the west is vast open plains. At least having the fort would provide some protection."

"So you agree with Irileth's idea?"

I noticed her red eyes fall on me expectantly. "To a point. As I said, why don't I try and take it?"

"You alone?"

"No. My housecarl. And I'll ask the Companions."

"So you'll want coin?"

"They'll want coin. But they don't work for free. I will."

"You will?" Irileth asked, unable to hide her surprise.

"If it strengthens our position in regards to negotiations once the conference begins, then I'll gladly do it. The most important thing, apart from actually securing peace, is ensuring Whiterun's safety."

"You have my sword whenever you're ready," Irileth stated. That concerned me, and I know both of them noticed. "I don't think my involvement would cause issue. If anyone saw Whiterun colours and wanted to report it, then perhaps that may cause offence."

I shrugged. "I'll just say you're a new Companions member if anyone asked. My jarl, is that okay?"

He looked between us in silence for at least a minute or two, contemplating what could happen if we put the plan into fruition. He finally nodded to himself. "Very well. Secure that fort, Ragnar. Irileth, you have my permission to assist. Just… Well, neither of you get yourselves killed before this conference. That's an order."

"Yes, sir," we both replied.

We departed the hall together, discussing what we should do next. There wasn't much of an argument. We agreed to wander towards the fort and ascertain the situation. Who was there, if anyone? Who were they? How many men would we need to take the fort? The last thing would to ensure no-one else knew what we were up to. Once the fort was taken, then we would raise the city colours over the gate.

We crouched and got as close as possible, not to the walls, that would be pointless, but so we could see who was on the walls, if anyone. We ducked behind a couple of large boulders and my beast-blood proved its worth. "I see at least a trio on the walls."

She was surprised but asked nothing except "What do they look like?"

"Ordinary bandits. They're not wearing uniforms."

"What do you think?"

"If they're bandits, we'll wipe the floor with them."

She barked a laugh. "You always this confident?"

"I've fought some enemies in my time. A bunch of half-trained bandits is not something I'm going to lose sleep over. I say we storm through the front door and kill them all."

We headed back to Whiterun and immediately for Jorrvaskr. I gathered the Circle and announced our idea. Aela and the twins were on board immediately, then we gathered the rest and explained what I wanted to them. Every single one of them offered their sword. I have a feeling they may have done even without being told the jarl would offer coin in exchange for their service, but all of them were keen for a good fight, figuring there would be plenty of the enemy available once we stormed the gates.

There was no real plan apart from killing everyone we could see, so I headed back to Breezehome once we had formed the semblance of a plan. I was greeted by a surprised Lydia as I walked through the front door.

"My thane, where have you been?"

"Around. Why?"

"You didn't return last night after your hunt."

I shrugged. "We ended up camping out under the stars. It was a nice evening." I paused, waiting for a reply, but none was forthcoming. "I have a job tomorrow. Wondering if you'd like to join in?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"We're assaulting the nearby fort. All the Companions. Irileth too."

"Irileth?"

I nodded. "The jarl has sanctioned the move. It will help secure the hold and it would be a show of strength before the conference."

"Of course, my thane. You know my sword is yours."

"You know I'd never presume. I always ask."

She smiled and blushed. "And I thank you for that."

"Want to go for a ride?"

Raised eyebrows. "Where?"

"I've heard there was a Talos status the Thalmor don't know about somewhere in the mountains near Riverwood. I have vague directions and wouldn't mind trying to find it. Interested?"

The smile broadened. "Lead the way."

I made sure to grab some provisions before we left, thinking we may be gone the rest of the day. That was the plan. Once we'd gathered our horses, we rode east towards the crossroads, turning right and heading towards Riverwood. We ambled along as I certainly wasn't in a rush. I had a vague idea of where to head.

We ended up travelling through Riverwood and heading further west than I expected. There was a small mountain range to our left, eventually signalling that we should dismount and explore. It was incredibly peaceful, the lake behind us, a faint mist hovering above us, unable to see the shore on the other side. Ahead of us, the mountain range loomed high above us though I knew we wouldn't have to climb too much. Or at least I hoped.

We weaved through the forest, the canopy above blocking out most of the sunlight. We eventually started to climb, following no path, simply proceeding in a direction I thought the most likely. I glanced back to see Lydia was keeping pace, not that I was going too fast. I rounded a rock face and saw the statue ahead on my left, finding what appeared to be steps grooved into the nearest rock ledge.

"Amazed no-one has managed to find this," I muttered.

"This is amazing!" Lydia exclaimed as we approached the statue.

I took a moment to turn and hadn't realised we had climbed so high. Not enough where we saw above the canopy but I could see the lake in the distance. But now I knew why the statue had been left in peace. There was no chance of seeing it from the road.

There was a wooden bench to sit on, suggesting people had once visited the statue, and may continue to do so, though there was no actual shrine. No surprise, as I figured that would have been taken for safekeeping. We sat down and unpacked our provisions, enjoying a simple lunch of bread and cheese, followed up by an apple, washed down with some mead. We spoke little, instead listening to the sounds of the forest surrounding us.

"Why did you bring me here, my thane?" she finally asked, breaking the silence.

I shrugged. "No real reason."

"But…"

I looked her right in the eyes. "Do you have feelings for me? Be honest. Hide nothing."

I noticed her blush for a moment before she composed herself. Then she nodded. But her words surprised me. "I did." She probably noticed the raised eyebrows. "I knew you were not interested in me in return. Your… relationship with Aela confirmed that."

"Ah…"

"Plus I know you well enough, my thane. Even if you had felt the same way, I know you wouldn't have done anything."

"Why's that?"

"Because I'm your housecarl. And you wouldn't want to think you were taking advantage." I smirked, because she was right, in a way. "But then you were also right about my jealousy of Aela. But once we got to know each other, on that ride to Winterhold, I couldn't really be jealous anymore. I can understand why you would be attracted to her."

"Aela and I are only friends. That facet of our relationship is no longer."

"Oh, why?"

"I've met someone else."

"Is that why you asked?" I nodded. "Can I ask who?"

"You can, but it's a long story. And you won't be meeting here any time soon. If ever." I noticed the surprised look. "As I said. A very long story."

"But you thought I should know anyway?"

"In a simple way, yes. I just don't want any awkwardness so I wanted to know where each of us stood. You are not only my housecarl, Lydia. You're also my friend. A good one."

She blushed again. "You need not worry about me, my thane."

"But I do."

"And that's why I enjoy being your housecarl. Taken on adventures across Skyrim, visiting places I'd never have visited otherwise, the adrenaline of charging into battle. And working alongside the Dragonborn! Every other housecarl must be jealous."

"And our relationship?"

"In addition to being your housecarl, I am your friend and confidant in return, my thane. And I am honoured to serve…"

"Assist."

"Yes, assist the Dragonborn." I probably breathed a sigh of relief as she started to laugh. "Have you been wanting to ask that for a while?"

"Honestly, yes." I paused a second. "You say you did. No longer?"

She smirked. "No longer."

"Ah… Who has caught your eye then?"

"Never you mind."

I laughed. "Very well. I expect to be introduced eventually." Then I paused. "Better not be Mikael, though…"

She groaned. "Give me some credit, my thane. He's disgusting!"

She never revealed who she was interested in, not that I pried too much. I figured she would share with me once she was ready. We spent the rest of the day simply talking, amazed at how easy we could sit and chat about anything and everything. Once the sun started to set, we packed our things and returned to our horses. Back in Whiterun by the time the sun had only just disappeared over the horizon, we headed back to Breezehome and readied ourselves for the next day.

We had a fort to conquer tomorrow.