III
She was on her balcony, watching the stars lightining at night, her beloved night, friend of so many thoughts, advice from herself and hidden emotions from the world, but not at her, not at her dear friend moon.
That night, different from the others, she weren't asking if she'd ever find true love, but if that was the love, what that was shown to her that impertinent young man, what made her smile so much. Was love so sunny? A heart beating in the madness of life was joyful.
She sighed dreaming. His golden hair, his beautiful green eyes, his cheerful brazen and enterprising, all gave her a smile that reached the ropes of her soul by vibrating her.
She didn't even know him, she didn't know his name, yet she felt tied to that unusual guy.
It was so romantic. She sighed again.
She knew how inappropriate it was for a princess to let go to those love fantasies with a stranger, she knew she was going to marry someone else soon, and yet she couldn't resist that smile, she couldn't say no.
Every Friday, when thanks to the help of her lady, she could escape from the building, she didn't expect to be seen by such a sharp, handsome young man.
Oh moon, love is so sudden and overwhelming, green as its eyes and as beautiful as its spirit. Why have to give up?
<< Antoinette, they're waiting for you. >>
She turned gracefully, in front of her she saw Bernadette's jovial face, her only friend and confidant.
She had a lot of company with her, but none of them were comparable to her trusted Bernadette. They were like sisters.
<< I'd like you to come back and call me like when we were kids. >> She smiled Nostalgicly, she gently grabbed the large and bulky skirt and approached the girl with olivascular skin.
<< We are not children anymore and in some situations it is duty treat you likes this, princess.>> She smiled gently in her eyes.
They started in the great hall of the throne, her father sat on the sumptuous chair, her mother was there.
<< Antoinette, come closer, dear. >> The father's kind face encouraged her, she could not have disobeyed his wants.
<< Yes, Father. >> She stood by his side and looked where his father's look.
She knew what, or who, would see us. Prince Luka.
<< My princess, I'm finally pleased to meet you. >> He took a deep bow.
My princess? She felt She haven't found her place in the world yet, should it have belonged to someone else?
She felt suffocating from that invisible prison.
<< My pleasure, Prince. I heard about your misfortune during the journey, I am so sorry. I hope the scoundrels will be taken soon. >>
<
He came back with his back and met her eyes.
She was the most beautiful woman in France, and they were right about her, and she was not second to anyone because of elegance and refinement. She was spreading legiadries.
She was a great one.
<< Would you allow me some moments in your company? >>
Antoinette was going to answer, but, of course, the father intervened earlier, reminding her that the decision would never be her.
<< Of course, go Antoinette, it's a beautiful night to walk to the moon clair. >>
She turned away from the throne and waited for the prince to approach her by giving his arm.
Of course, no one could go up to the king's level, but she also had to make the prince feel indispensable somehow.
It was suffocating. She didn't need anyone to step up and walk down the aisle.
Luka left as well and with the princess under his arm he went to the lodge.
<< Your gardens are the most beautiful and envious of the continent.>> the young man said looking around surprised.
<< I'm sure in Italy, too, they have just as beautiful gardens. >>
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<< I'll take you there, princess. >>
She was impressed with all that kindness. He didn't seem like a bad person. Maybe he was also obliged to that life of rules and commands. Maybe he felt trapped, too.
They kept walking quietly. She didn't want to talk, he was in awe, he didn't know how to get her attention. He was afraid to get her bored.
<< The moon is beautiful tonight. >> He looked at the sky.
<< You're right, it looks closer than usual. >> She smiled before she looked at the starry turning.
<< You're infinitely better looking, though. >> He seemed to be as embarrassed as she is.
<< Don't be too much. >>
<< I'm not exaggerating, you make the signature pale, princess. >> Quickly he stood in front of her grabbing her hands. He looked her in the blue eyes.
The princess was impressed by that gesture
<< I don't know what to say. >> She took her face down red.
<< You don't have to say anything, just let me look at you with my enchanted eyes, for the rest of the life. >>
She managed to slip her hand off the grip and moved on a few steps by turning his back on him
<< Prince, You flatter me, but... >>
How could she tell him that she had given her heart to an infinitely better statement that morning than his?
<< What's the problem? Do you love someone else? Aren't you happy for this union? >> He looked at her with concern and spoke to her with fear and stood in front of her again.
<< No, I... don't... don't get it wrong, Prince, my father often spoke about you and your good heart, but we met today for the first time. >> She justified regret.
<< You're right, I'm sorry I rushed the timing, I don't want to put any pressure on your feelings. I want them to be pure and beautiful, like your smile, princess. >>
They smiled sincerely and went for a walk. At least from the appearance.
When she came back to her rooms, she found Bernadette waiting for her.
<< How did you find Prince Luka? >> Saied with gossip look.
Antoinette looked at her fun before she sat in her stuffed chair.
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She knew her very well.
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<< What?! Which guy at the market, Antoinette?! >> She was in front of her in a flash, the aggravated eyes and the expression she used to reproach her.
Maybe she shouldn't have say that. Of course, she would have talked to her about it, maybe quietly and discretion.
The damage was done.
<< Last Friday, I accidentally crashed with a guy, talked a little bit about a new poet and... I don't know... He got in my head. It's so handsome, Bernadette! Then this morning... >>
<
<< Yes and he had just confessed to me his feelings. >> She said smiling for the embarrassment of the memory.
<< How?! Already?! > She was alarmed
<< No! He'd been looking at me from a distance of two months ago, he just took courage after a long time. >> She justified him.
<< Can you hear yourself when you talk? >> She went to laugh fun.
<< Don't laugh, you weren't there! He was so romantic! Spontaneous and natural, reckless and sometimes he seemed really clumsy. He said so many beautiful things.>> The look of those who dream in the open eyes that can relive a moment, at least an infinity of other times.
<< And let's hear it, what did he say to you for making you so indisposed with the handsome prince? >> She put her hands on her hips, but she was amused by her friend's romantic fantasies.
Antoinette stood up from the patron and, as she turned light, she went to the balcony. She looked at the sky.
<< He said that my eyes drive him crazy and also my smile, if it's not directed at him, It makes him dead. He asked me to kiss him and hold him in my arms forever from the top of the world, away from the worries. >>
<< It's awfully inconvenient. >> Bernadette pointed her out.
<< It's absolutely romantic. >> She sighed on her cheek on the palm of her hand, elbows on the marble of the balcony.
<< You shouldn't fantasize about a stranger. It was my fault, I shouldn't have let you run away from the building. If the queen knew, she'd kill me! >>
Now she panicked and woke up the princess who, looking at her, knew where she was going to take that conversation
<< What are you talking about? I have to thank you, Bernadette, thanks to you I know what's out of here and I could meet him. I'll see him next Friday. >>
Maybe the last thing she shouldn't have told her.
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She grabbed her hands, with beggary eyes, to stop the sermon.
<< Bernadette, please! Please. I have to see him again. >>
She would never have been able to say no.
~•~•~•~•~•~•
Adrien would close his eyes and think of her, no matter who he had by his side, no matter who he had sweated at night, she was always in his mind.
He turned, sleepy and naked, near him was another woman. No, she was neither a popular nor a daughter of an innkeeper, she was a young countess bored with the life of court. He couldn't remember her name and how he slept with her.
And the sheet slipped her and discovered a lot of her body. She was different from the others, her skin was more candidate and cured, smooth, but nothing compared to the china of the market girl.
He would have wanted to smell the perfume of her skin, wake up and be intoxicated by the smell of sex with her, hear her voice warming his chest, like words were alone and, without fear, tell her how much love he felt, yelling it to the world, if necessary.
He stood up from the sumptuous bed, covered himself from the waist down with a blanket and went out the window. It was almost time to go.
Paris was always a show in the morning, a lot of busy people.
That was the florist who had the market counter.
He encouraged him, with his thought, to go set up, better than he'd never done, the feast that morning.
Wonder why everything brought him back to her, every thought was her, close his eyes and saw her in those colored flowers. But instead it was fine, he never wanted those thoughts to fly off his head, he didn't want to be left by her memory.
He wanted to know who she was, and that morning he would ask her, he would breathe a little longer that morning waiting to be chosen by her eyes, in the middle of all those people, he who was crazy who confessed her feelings.
He told her he wanted a life with her, wanted to see spring and winter days, days to remember and, why not, hard times and sleepless nights, maybe for a more serious fight, but then they'd come back to make love all night, every night.
He settled, as best he could, using the lady's toilet and ran out of them trying not to be too noticeable.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
He walked around the streets, looked like a hot kid, a jerk. That's what he was, a jerk.
How could he have been like this for a woman?
Without being seen, he stole an apple from the fruit vendor who was engaged to prepare the exhibition, he went off and thought it was as red as her lips. He dreamed of biting them like he bit the fruit.
God, he would have gone mad to want her but not have her.
He walked by the cloth bench, took one to clean his mouth and hands and put it back on the wooden shelf.
He can't believe how he always got away with it.
He came in front of the florist and he stood next to the wall to wait for her. In the distance, she heard a classical guitar. Delicated melody.
He saw her coming. Beautiful as it was, it didn't seem possible that among many people, she was heading right to him. Seeing her approach and being looked at by those eyes, it was like flying. Like when hed dreamed of her at night, when he said he loved her in the dark of her room and asked her not to leave him, even if love stories end and love goes by, she had to pretend that she could love him forever, because time would have passed, but they two wouldn't, they would never pass.
What an incredible, stupid romantic. He who had been giving himself a night's pleasure, who had two stared women in his life, but who didn't love, at least not like that. Could he be more hypocritical than that? He was talking about love, talking about her, like the most wonderful feelings, like he could really talk about it. And then? Then he was acting like a vile disin love with life. With alcohol and maidens always within their mouth. Yeah, but he would have given up everything for her.
<< Milady. >> He bowed her hand to kiss her knuckles. Antoinette smiled enchanted.
Today s he was wearing a pink powder dress and the red lips were gone. She seemed even more straight.
An angel. He thought the blond.
<< May I have your arm for a pleasant walk? >>
They wouldn't stop smiling, but he was incredibly similar to a cat who was a pimpy looking for attention.
The princess laid the gloved hand on the young man's arm who, in turn, laid the other hand on her to make it closer.
Antoinette knew how inconvenient a situation like this was for a princess, everything she was raised with was going to be blessed.
But he was so... so...
<< I dreamed of you tonight, or rather, don't get me wrong, I dream of you every night, I dream that... well... I needed to say your name, you know, but I didn't know, m'lady. How can I not know the name that brings my heart? >>
<
He hoped for the sincerity of denial.
<< Offer my love. >>
<
<< What do I do with honor if everything I believe in is trampled
on?>>
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<< In the truth of my affection towards you. > He said more convinced than ever.
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By pretending to be offended, he stood in front of her, and he didn't give up the touch of her arm, but he tried to look her in the eye, but he stood by her trying to hide her face behind the big fold of the hat again.
<< Milady, look at me, please. >>
He took the flap of the headgear that hid her face between his thumb and index, raised it and she felt attracted to those magnetic eyes that called her to turn, as soldiers for war were called. She couldn't refuse.
When their eyes looked at each other, a fraction of a second was enough to tie each other.
<
The girl was enchanted by such words and the way the young man had spoken them. So serious and solemn, as if he had to convince her to live.
She felt the desire to be closer to him.
He didn't know if She didn't want to answer him or if she just didn't know what to say.
She kept looking at him and getting closer. How could he tell her that a few more millimeters and he would have made Hera in some hidden anthroom in Paris? She was so elegant, woman of high-lineage, surely, she couldn't even imagine what he was thinking. Even before talking about sleep, She had no idea what he were talking about, which is why she wasn't even blushing.
And he thanked heaven it was like that, it meant her purity. No one's ever installed that kind of thought in her mind. He would have been too jealous of it.
Then he should have found out who he was and punched him.
He didn't know if to talk to her, to interrupt that intense moment, warning her he was imagining heaven.
But he just kept looking at her. She was so beautiful, she was confusing he, like when you look at the sun and then you see nothing else for a few seconds. But the heat he felt on his face in having her so close was comparable to the burning rays in the summer. A wish that burned him alive.
<< Please, it would be awfully inconvenient for you if I kissed you here and now. > Hardly swallowed.
It was absurd to have to push her away, even if only with the words that she, however, seemed to be not burdened.
He'd already imagine her head on his pillow and black hair like the night spread in a mess about it.
<
<< Because I wouldn't mind, m'lady. >>
He found the courage to touch her cheek with the index. That contact seemed to get a little bit of a jump and paint a little. He tried to find his own clear.
<< I'm sorry I... I don't know what got into me. I've been so unspeakable. I... I put you in trouble. >> She moved away a few steps from Adrien and gave him his back. He covered his face with his hands for embarrassment and shame.
<< What? >> He still stood by touching her back with his hand to call her back, but she didn't turn around, took off her finger cage.
She couldn't really feel guilty about him after taking him to heaven, she couldn't be ashamed of putting him in that kind of difficulty. What difficulty? The difficulty was to resist her, and he would never resist her.
He stood before her again and, kindly, he took her finite wrists in his hands to free her face and to look at her.
She seemed really upset.
<
He tried to make her feel better.
<< I can't. I'm sorry. >> She became divided by his grip, easily because he didn't squeeze so she wouldn't hurt.
<< What do you mean? >>
Was it distressing the emotion that gave voice to words and sense to his eyes?
< She turned ready to leave but he blocked her hand off.
<
Her eyes looked like she was poisoning the poison he should have been drinking.
It was ridiculous to let her get away from her arms.
<< Don't look at me with those eyes, I beg you. >>
<< I couldn't look at you any other way now. Tell me what's bothering you, if it's just what happened, you don't have to worry.>>
She seemed to calm down, just by bit.
He took the glove off her hand, just so he could touch her smooth skin and create more intimate contact. He caressed her palm with his fingertips, almost like worshipping her. He was intimidated, too. He didn't know what it would do to intertwist their fingers.
But she didn't make him do it. She took her hand back to her chest and tried to hide the chills.
<< I'm promised to another man. > > She said all by breath with her eyes on the ground.
Were she afraid of disappointment in his eyes?