XXXIX

He was furious, stunned, confused, and incredibly afraid of what he might discover going forward with that story.

That scoundrel had kidnapped Antoinette because he was infatuated, she had helped and protected him, on the way back. There was a veiled complicity in their gazes, dangerous, he dared say. He had pretended not to care, not even to see her, but now that feeling overwhelmed him and he couldn't help but think what motivation she had had to help him and look at him that way.

He had to run to her, see her and talk to her and that was why he had left the Bastille in a hurry and found himself back in the palace, in front of the princess' rooms. He had already asked a servant to send for her and now he was walking, back and forth along the corridor, in front of her door, with his head bowed, his hands behind his back and with wide and determined strides.

<< The princess is ready to welcome you.>>

He recomposed himself and allowed himself to be escorted through the door.

<< Prince Luka.>> She greeted him with her usual friendly smile.

She was truly enchanting.

<< Antoinette, this thing is pressing me deep down, so I'll get straight to the point.>> He didn't want to speak harshly to her, he would never disrespect her, but he wanted explanations right away.

<< What do you have to tell me? You're worrying me.>> She looked at him curiously.

<< Do you...reciprocate his feelings? Be honest.>> He stepped closer.

Antoinette's eyes widened in disbelief.

What turn was that meeting taking?

<< What? I don't understand what you're talking about. What feelings? >> She had never been good at lying.

<< Don't take me for an idiot, please.>> He smiled sadly.

Marinette sighed.

What was the point of lying all the time?

<< I don't want to lie to you. You don't deserve it.>> She lowered her head, ready for the consequences of what she was about to reveal. << I already knew that man, but I didn't know who he really was and...>>

<< I don't want to hear the whole story. He confessed his feelings for you, now I ask you, do you reciprocate? >> He interrupted her by raising the tone of his voice impatiently.

They were standing in front of each other, the prince was studying her behaviors, she couldn't even look at him.

Why had Adrian told Prince Luka how he felt? Why had he put her in this situation if he only wanted to protect her?

<< Why don't you two talk? Is it perhaps true then? The compassion I saw in your eyes in that forest, the gentleness in your gestures and the regard for his life, was it all dictated by your feelings? It unnerved him not to hear her even try to defend herself against those accusations.

<> She whispered defeated.

Luka stiffened considerably. He was motionless, his eyes spent. It was one thing to expect it, another to have it confirmed.

They were silent for what seemed like hours.

<< Do you love him? >> He awoke as he tried to sit on the arm of the velvet armchair.

<< Nothing you can't forget.>> She lied again, trying to be confident.

<< Does it hurt you to know what will happen to him?>> He returned to using a calm tone.

<< Certainly.>> Antoinette said.

Luka stood up again and started walking around the room.

He thought, he thought. How could he forgive? How could he pretend that nothing had happened? Had she deceived him or was the kidnapping at least true?

<< Did you escape or was you kidnapped? >> He asked suspiciously.

<< Are you suggesting that I may have put my feelings above my duties? >> She answered in an irritated voice.

<< I am suggesting that it is most likely an elopement.>> He looked at her face again.

<< If it will ease his guilt, it will.>> She seemed truly resolute.

<< Would you take the blame for such a despicable and thoughtless act? >> He asked in amazement.

<< If I can save him in that way, yes.>> Antoinette looked at him hard.

<< You won't save him anyway and you'll lose your honor, we'll both lose ours in reality.>> He thoughtfully returned.

She wondered what the prince was doing, if he really was looking for a way to help her despite everything.

<>

She wanted to tell him that he didn't deserve it, that he was proving to be the best person in this whole thing, that she would never be worthy of someone like him. But the words cut off in her throat. How could she have done this to him?

<< I always thought people were strange, especially within the walls of a building. >> He turned his back on her.

<< I grew up seeing nobles fighting, trying to bypass each other socially, hating each other and then laughing and joking at their children's wedding, for mere economic interests.>> He sighed, trying not to smile at the memory of those scenes.

<< The human being is able to change his mind suddenly, from the truth he can pass to a lie, without scruples, as if nothing had happened.>> He approached the chair again and sat down, with elegance and composure.

<< He goes crazy with dissatisfaction. Don't you think so? Maybe the problem is that the world turns and she always has to follow it blindly, fashions, priorities, monetary value...in my opinion, a bunch of fools.>> He let a smile escape.

Antoinette couldn't understand where he was going with that speech and why he had started that kind of reflection. What did people's foolishness have to do with her betrayal?

<< I always thought you were different, sincere, that you didn't look for frivolous emotions, that you didn't chase the world, it was the world that revolved around you. You were a fixed point, stable in its perfect harmony. The sun, that's what you were to me. No one was going to change you, the court wasn't going to mold you like they were able to do to me. A sincere soul.

And I wanted to be loved by you, even if I didn't deserve it.>>

The princess lowered her head again. She felt more and more wrong.

<< I imagined you were lonely, like me, I imagined we could console each other as we could, even if you wouldn't love me, I was enough for both of us. No more guesswork or fears of never being worthy of my name. >>

<< Your words, my prince, are sweet and bitter at the same time. I sense the regret and disappointment I have given you, but I also feel strong feelings, which cannot be gone because of these clouds.>> She hurried over to him, rested a hand on his arm, and they looked at each other, finally.

So this was how it was supposed to be. She had come back to him, despite her pride.

She had come back to him because she couldn't do otherwise, because that was the only way she could protect Adrien.

<< I know yours is not love, I hope it can become it.>> He pulled his arm from her touch and squeezed her hand in affection.

<< Why are you helping me? >>

<< Because I am still trying to deserve you.>> He answered sincerely.

She was taken aback by that answer.

Was he trying to deserve her? It should have been the opposite.

She would have remembered the days they had spent together, when the shadow of an impossible love was still not in her life, and she would never again remember the places where she would see Adrien again, she would never again recite, in her mind, the words and gestures she had lost.

She would return to him, in her guilty silence.

<< So you're giving me another chance? >> She asked incredulously.

<< I want to try to give you a new emotion, maybe one that will make you forget the pain of the past one.>> He smiled, caressing her hand, which he still held tightly, with his thumb.

Would he be able to be a new music for her, to bring freshness in that oppressive stench that was failure?

<< I only hope that inside your eyes there is still something for us.>> The prince stood up, without letting go of her hand, and stood in front of her, very close.

<< There is no doubt that I still want you, my sweet Antoinette, I would fight even against the wind that pushes me away from you because I know that you need me right now.>> He whispered softly and looked at her with as much sweetness.

The woman's heart leapt at those words. Who was Luka? No man could be so sweet and understanding. At least not a future king who was used to having everything he wanted when he wanted it.

He was right, she needed him to breathe her out of that restlessness, she needed to save Adrien and appearances, she needed a firm grip when he would be gone, free to live her life as best she could.

She didn't want to feel so fragile anymore.

<< I guess your love comes with a price. >> He encouraged her to speak.

Antoinette swallowed hard before taking courage. She knew she was about to ask so much of him but she also knew he expected it.

<< Let him live, I will be your wife, but let him free.>> She was determined but, silently, a tear escaped, just one small tear.

The prince squeezed his eyes shut and sighed.

Was this the price to pay?

<< So be it. But he will never set foot in Paris again. Don't force me to see his face again.>>