XLI

He heard footsteps approaching, but they weren't the ones he expected to hear, they didn't have the heaviness of the usual men's boots or when they alternatively sent someone straight to him in armor. It was a light ticking, if he knew it wasn't possible he would have even said it was her.

He didn't even get up to prepare for the meeting. Maybe it was the queen who wanted to watch die the man who had made the royal family live a week of terror, or even worse it was his mother who, for some strange case had heard about him and wanted to meet him.

What a vile woman. She had abandoned her family for money, for a life of ease, albeit with a man she didn't love. She had left what she said was the love of her life and two children, without even giving it much thought. No, unlike her father, he would never forgive her.

Now he could explain why she had been able to teach him to read, after all she had been educated as an aristocratic woman. For that alone he could be grateful.

He still kept his head down, his arms outstretched resting on his bent knees, his wrists still bound in an iron grip and his back bent. His still damp hair, now clean even of his blood, fell back in front of his face.

The footsteps stopped, he felt their presence, right in front of him, just inside the room.

<< Adrien...>>

He sighed at the sound of that voice.

It couldn't be. His mind was playing tricks on him.

He raised his head slowly, terrified that it might really be just an illusion.

Then he saw her.

She dropped the hooded cloak that covered her head, over her shoulders.

Neither of them, grateful as they were to heaven, could smile.

He thought back to the pain he had caused her by betraying her, she was bewildered by what was before her, between bruises and wounds, Adrien was just the specter of what he had been before he was locked up.

The boy stood up quickly and looked at her confused. << What are you doing here? Have you gone mad?

Why did he always have to risk getting into trouble?

<< No more than you telling Luka you had feelings for me.>> She remained calm and composed, her head bowed to look at the hem of her dress.

<< Not of my own volition.>> she sighed, calming herself in turn. Seeing her unwilling to continue the conversation he approached her a little and with a sweet voice and an apprehensive look he asked her: <>.

When she finally raised her head, he lost all sense. His heart was beating fast, his breath was heavy and accelerated and his brain didn't seem to do its job anymore. An impulse pushed him towards her, beautiful, perhaps more beautiful than his eyes remembered her, more beautiful than she appeared in his dreams. It wasn't right.

He let himself go, resting his forehead on the covered shoulder of her who shuddered and stiffened.

<> He whispered, regaining spirit and vigor. Breathing her in was like breathing new life into himself.

<< What have they done to you?>> He continued to speak in a very low voice, almost as if he were arguing with himself.

He didn't want to feel the fabric on her face anymore, he wanted her skin, her scent. He needed a real contact, so he brought his face close to the hollow of her neck, when he touched her nivea skin he spontaneously sighed with satisfaction, convinced that he had found his place in the world again. Her perfume invaded his nostrils and he could swear that he had missed nothing more.

But why did she remain rigid and composed?

She couldn't tell him that she felt dirty for still wanting to hold him, that it was a mistake to show love to him after what had happened with Luka, after the agreement and the concessions made.

Luka had been far too kind and she couldn't take advantage of him like that, repaying him by falling into Adrien's arms.

But it was so hard to resist.

With her hands on his shoulders she forced him to go back straight, then she put them on the sides of his face and stared at him tenderly, caressing him almost as if she wanted to imprint those features in her mind, so that she could then dream them true for the rest of her life.

<< I heard from Bernadette... everything.>> He said taking courage.

<< All what? >> He asked puzzled and stopped pressing his cheek on a hand, not even a puppy looking for attention.

Ridiculous, that's what he had become, but it was okay.

The princess moved away and stopped caressing him and he felt lost again.

<< Why did you lie to me? Why did you tell me you slept with her? Do you have any idea how much you hurt me! >> He said, raising his tone of voice.

Adrien swallowed. So she had found out. What was he going to tell her now?

<< I'm sorry, I just wanted it to be easier for you to let me go.>> He opted for the truth.

<< And you took all my rants, all the blame...>> She approached the boy again.

<< What do you want me to care about my faults, Antonì? I would have died anyway and you didn't have to suffer.>> He justified himself by taking a step towards her.

He approached her face, with the tip of his nose he touched her cheek in a caress and held his breath, not to give in to the temptation to kiss her.

She, on her side, was breathing heavily, her lips were desperately looking for his but as soon as they perceived them, she forced herself to move away, but she always came back.

<< Antonì...>> It was almost a groan.

He wanted to beg her, beg her to allow his lips to brush against hers, even if it was only once. He wanted her to stop maintaining that stupid demeanor.

<< I'm not here...for...this...anyway.>> She struggled to speak with a clear mind because of the too much closeness and the urge she had to give in to temptation.

<< Ssh, don't talk, don't wake me up from this dream.>> He pressed his forehead to hers, squeezed his eyes shut from the pain a wound near there was causing him.

He was about to give in.

The warm breaths that broke in contrast now became indistinguishable. She felt sorry for the prince, but she would never be able to rebel against this.

Quickly their lips collided, he enclosed her lower lip between his own, caressing it softly.

Burned by that touch, Antoinette pulled away.

She couldn't let go, she had to tell him why she had come and leave.

<< No.>> She whispered, turning her back to him.

Adrien looked at her confused and with a veil of sadness on his pupils.

<< What no? I missed you like oxygen...I...I thought I would die without...>> He tried to turn her around by taking her by the shoulders, but her handcuffed wrists didn't help him at all.

<> She said decisively, but without turning around.

Adrien was stunned by those words.

What did she mean? What had he done?

He couldn't find the words, couldn't find a way to explain this kind of grace how he could have achieved it. He trembled. He feared how she had earned it.

Antoinette waited for endless seconds for a sign, a gesture, a word, but the boy gave no sign of having understood.

<< When you told the prince about your feelings, he wanted to talk to me, he asked me if it was the same for me...>> She sighed, trying to take courage. He knew that the stubborn man wouldn't like the solution, but it was the only thing he could do to save him.

<< I told the truth, in part.>>

Adrien looked at her, frowning.

He felt that something terribly painful was about to pierce his heart.

<< Don't look at me like that! What should I have said to him? >> She became impatient with his silence and his contrite expressions.

<< Say no! That I was only a madman who kidnapped you, and that you would be glad to see my execusion>>

He found the strength to speak again, even though his tone had become harsh.

<< I couldn't! How could you expect me to be able to say such a thing! You don't know about my pain, you don't know about it!>> She screamed even more angrily.

<< I know the pain of not seeing you happy, I know the pain of losing everything, even your family!>> The boy repiled.

<< None of that will happen.>> She lowered her tone of voice but still remained harsh and annoyed.

<> Adrien stepped back, baring his eyes.

<< The prince didn't want me or him to lose credibility, he didn't want anyone to lose their honor...>> The princess continued, even if her interlocutor was only shaking his head in his hands and shaking it in a litany of "no, no, no, no".

His freedom, his life, depended on his woman's marriage to another man. Could it have been worse than that?

<< Not to mention that our kingdoms...>> She tried to continue undaunted.

<< Don't say anything more. Shut up! >> She shouted at him with her back to him.

"I told you she would be mine."

<< Adrien you have to listen to me...>> She tried to touch his arm to make him turn towards her.

<< I don't want to live and have to know you with another man! I don't want to spend my sleepless nights imagining you in his arms, I don't want to go out in the streets and see you on parade with him by your side, to know about the heir that will be born and...God, how can you ask me to survive like this?>> He took even more distance and slammed, enraged, his fists against the wall.

<< Would you rather I let you die?! You can't ask me that! I won't let you die if I know I can save your life! >> She managed to grab his arm and turn him around. They looked at each other, both with tears in their eyes, similar tears, born of the same pain, but for different reasons.

<< What am I going to do with life! Do you think it really interests me to be able to breathe if I will never again be able to smell your perfume, or look around me if my gaze will no longer be able to rest on you, or listen if it is not your voice that engages my hearing! What good is it to me to live?!Will you explain it to me?! >> He screamed at her a few inches from her face.

<< I won't let you throw your life away, you have affections, you have people who care if you live or die.>> She retorted, forcing herself to calm down.

<< Would you really let me walk around like a ghost trying to live with your absence, with a pain that would tear my heart apart forever? To spend days remembering you and remembering what I had and lost? No, you can't hate me that much. That would never be life. I'd rather die.>> He yelled at her, but the closer she got to him, the more the urge to have her back became apparent.

How had she allowed herself to decide his life?

How angry she made him.

<< And anyway...you won't be able to stay in Paris anymore.>> He finished the sentence all in one breath, fearing her reaction even more.

<< Excuse me?>> He seemed calm, but he was only interdicted.

<< We think it's best that you...>> She couldn't finish the sentence Adrien trailed off laughing a nervous laugh.

<< We think, this is good, now you even talk as if you were already a couple. Tell the truth, he's the one who thought it was good to send me away from here for fear that I might steal his bride again.>> He said mocking with a derisory smile the woman in front of him who, outraged by that brazen rudeness, that goliardic irreverence towards him, couldn't stop herself from slapping him on the cheek.

Adrien looked at her and continued to smile, <>.

It was amazing how easy it was for him to get her riled up. She hated it when he parried her feelings with such hateful and rude attitudes.

<< Choose a place to go and then disappear.>> She said harshly trying not to make it clear that he was feeling pain in the hand that had attacked him.

<< No.>> He said even more stubbornly.

<< Adrien...>>

<< You left me alive for my affections, right? Not just to wash your conscience. So what would be the point of sending me away from here? Who's going to think about the children at the orphanage and the Bernard' daughter? >> He asked in a defiant tone.

<< Me.>>

He was taken aback by that answer.