Chapter 22: But What If I Can't Keep Moving

Chapter 22: But What If I Can't Keep Moving?

"I guess we should get going then. Apollo I have a question, and I don't know if you can answer it." Sarah said uneasily. "Actually, I have two." She said nervously. "Ask away", he responded while packing spare clothes into a bag he had found on the floor. "Do you think Uncle Luke meant for this to happen? He was supposed to be the one that I stayed with to be safe, and now it feels like he wants us dead. He would have come to save us by now, wouldn't he?" She asked, her eyes starting to water. "Sarah….do you want my honest opinion or what you actually want to hear?" Apollo asked irritably. "Honest opinion I guess." She mumbled. "I don't think he cares. I really, truly don't. The man doesn't seem right, and I think he knows more than he lets on. If he really wanted to help you, he would be here already. I also think that if he wanted you dead, we would both be six feet under right now. So my conclusion is that he either doesn't care, or is preoccupied. Or maybe he enjoys watching you struggle." He sighed. "What's your other question?" Sarah whispered, barely making a sound as she was trying to silently cry. "Apollo…..what's wrong with me?"

"What's wrong with you?" He repeated her question. "You know Sarah, I'm not exactly sure. The codes in your brain have been rewritten many times, and you're seriously messed up. We can't do anything about that, so we just have to keep moving." He said, standing up and putting his arm out in an attempt to get Sarah up and going. "But what if I can't keep moving?" Sarah asked, in a faint cry. Right at that moment he lunged forward, pulling her into a long hug. "You can, I promise!" Sarah cried and cried, right into his shoulder. He seemed like he wanted to cry too, but Sarah couldn't hear him if he was. She didn't know what was wrong with her. All of these sudden emotions, with nowhere to expel them. All this pain, with no clear cause. Sarah knew it was from her time with...them…. But she didn't know why, or how, or exactly what was modified about her. She didn't have time to dwell on this now though, as there was a pounding on the boutique's door that made them both jump. She went to yell out of fright, but Apollo put a hand over her mouth. He protectively placed his arm around her and dug around in his boot. "What are you doing?" She whispered in his ear. "Just...wait.." He said, pulling out what seemed to be a switchblade. He rolled on his back and jumped up onto his feet. Apollo grabbed her arm, and gave her the bag of stuff. "Climb out of the window and start running, I'll catch up soon." He said, while shoving her out of the window. "Hey!" She yelled as she fell onto the cold damp ground. "Just go!" He yelled, and so she did. Sarah ran, and ran, and ran. She eventually got off of the castle's land and took a rest. "God!" She yelled. "How did I run that far? I feel like I'm dead." She remembered taking her pulse in gym class, and put two fingers up to her neck. "Oh my god, I'm totally dead." She said, with a laugh. She leaned against the nearest tree. "I shouldn't go too far, I have to stay with Apollo." She could feel anger in him, and fear. His fury was slowly overriding the fear he was experiencing. "I feel too calm right now", she said. "I can't do anything about either of our emotions right now so I might as well just rest until I can go find him." Sarah decided to look at what Apollo had packed for the both of them. She first pulled a jacket, and some worn jeans from the bag. There was a lighter, and just more clothes. She was about to re-pile everything in the bag when she saw a sheet of crumpled paper. "What is that?" She asked the open trees. Sarah reached down into the tote bag and grabbed the paper. She opened it, and it read.

Depression: What you need to know and how to deal.

Sarah thought about the last two sentences she had just read. "Leaning on other people? That seems like the last thing Apollo would do. He doesn't like to talk either. What a useless thing, better crumple it back up before he realizes I read his "cheat sheet"." Sarah heard a loud bang! It sounded like a gun, but what kind? Sarah's mind raced with worry. "What if it's an assassin, a sniper?" She once again asked the lifeless trees. "Do you...…..do you think I should go look for him?" She asked, staring at the tree. "Like this would give me an answer, how ignorant." She said, Sarah threw the bag over her shoulder and started running back towards castle grounds. Again, she ran, and ran, until she saw him in the distance. "Apollo!" She screamed. They reached each other and he yelled, "we gotta go! I sorta lost them but we have to get out of the line of sight!" "Okay!" Sarah replied. She followed him until they were both hyperventilating. "We should stop now." Sarah announced. "Yeah, let's set up camp for the night. It's getting dark." Apollo answered. They were slightly off of an abandoned looking dirt road. "I'm freezzinnggg." Sarah said as she sat down in front of an old oak tree. "Here, I'll go try to start a fire." Apollo said, throwing off his jacket and giving it to her. Sarah decided to make herself useful and try to make makeshift sleeping bags with the clothes and blanket they had in the bag. Well, the blanket Apollo had with him when she found him. When he returned he was loaded with sticks, leaves, and the lighter that he had packed away. "Hey Sarah?" He asked. "Yes?" She replied. "Can you go and grab me some stones?" "Yep!" She skipped away excitedly. You might as well make some good out of this situation. This is the first time you've ever had real freedom in your life, take advantage of it. She thought. Sarah came back to see a tiny bit of flame by Apollo's hand. "You're having a fun time there, aren't you?" She laughed. "I can't start this stupid fire. Guess we're just going to have to bear the cold for a bit." He said angrily. "Do you have your phone on you? Mine got lost in the confusion." Sarah said, seeming preoccupied. "Yeah, here." He tossed it over to her. I guess he doesn't have anything to hide. Sarah thought to herself. She tapped the screen, and thankfully it still had some battery. "Passcode?" Sarah asked. "It's kinda long but it's, 9-12-12-21-19-9-15-14." He answered. "Why is it so complex?" Sarah asked with a chuckle. "It has meaning." Apollo said as he stood up. "I'm going to use the bathroom, don't disappear." He said, walking away. Sarah unlocked her phone to about forty notifications. Oh lord. Sarah thought. She wanted to call Isi or Blake, but she didn't have to. All of the messages coming through were from him. "I should see what's going on", she said, trying to convince herself to snoop. She opened the conversation to threats from Blake. Where did you take her?!!! You know she's the real target. We WILL get her eventually Apollo, the question is when. If you don't hand her over, I will end your existence. Yeah, I have that power now. Thanks for nothing. "That's not Blake, it can't be." Sarah kept reading and finding more and more threats, and talk of Sarah being the pawn. "Is Apollo trying to hand me over? To get me back to the Herestrians?" Sarah asked accusingly. She then realized that she was only talking to the wind. "You're not going anywhere." Apollo said. Sarah jumped and quickly turned around to see him looking awfully innocent. "Why would I give you to the Herestrians? That's the exact opposite of what I'm trying to do Sarah. Listen, we need to talk. I need to know how much you actually know."

"Okay, ask away." She said. "You can feel my emotions, correct?" "Yes", she responded. "Can you hear my thoughts?" He asked suspiciously, "or see my past like I saw yours." "I can hear your thoughts sometimes, but not normally, no. I can't see your past Apollo. I know enough about your childhood from your demeanor and how you act in general. I haven't learned anything that I didn't have to infer." Sarah responded. "Okay, then how did you come up with that?" He asked. "Come up with what?" Sarah asked, confused. "When you asked me, what if I can't keep moving? Why did you ask me that!" He said, more of a statement than a question. "How did you.....how did you know about that?" He asked. At that moment, Apollo looked completely numb. For less than a second Sarah thought she saw a tear, but it quickly depleted if it was ever there at all.. "How Sarah? How?" He mumbled. "I don't know what you're talking about! I was so hopeless in the moment Apollo. My entire world was flipped upside down in a matter of a month and I'm supposed to be fine? It popped in my head and I said it, that's it. Okay? What does it mean to you?" Sarah asked, like she was talking to a baby dear. Trying not to scare it. "Sarah.......that's what I said when my sister asked me if I was truly thinking to commit. Word for word. I am so pathetic." He said, with a short self deprecating chuckle. Sarah moved over to him and hugged him tight. "It's pretty cold out here, huh? Anyway, you're okay. Did you know it hurts me when you cry, too?" Sarah asked. She had all of a sudden felt a great pain in her heart, so she started crying with him. They held each other in tears until the morning.