Chapter 15 Kim Min Ho

After my brother left, I remained seated on my bed thinking about what I had done until my head couldn't handle it anymore and started aching all over again.

My eyes were sore from crying too much and I was overwhelmed by my sense of guilt for hurting the one person who not only gave me love and affection my whole life, but was also patient enough to take in all the bullshit I threw at him in the course of that time.

I always knew my brother deserved better than me betraying him like that, but my inability to hold up my own promises still ended up doing just that. But instead of him punching me in the face or at the very least cussing me out like expected of someone betrayed like that, Jeon seemed more worried about how my love for his woman must have caused me pain from all the time that he had been with her like his feelings didn't matter at all except mine.

But his feelings really mattered to me. They mattered so much I had to keep something as big as that from everyone just to protect his heart.

And whenever I dared imagine Jeon and I ever having a major fall out over anything, I always thought it would be about something as silly as him having enough of my lazy attitude towards work or anything that trivial. Never because of Kristal.

I never once imagined it actually happening and now that it did, it left me feeling so agitated with wondering if my brother had now resented me for it because God forbid how terrible my life would fall apart without him in it.

I couldn't just sit around in my room feeling bad about myself all day. That sort of thing could drive a man insane. Instead, I decided to go out there and investigate how things were between the soon to be married couple. I hesitantly got dressed and left my room.

I couldn't find anyone in the house until I walked into the kitchen and found Kristal sitting all by herself on a chair near the kitchen counter with a cup of tea. She didn't look upset, so I figured that things couldn't be that bad. I took a few deep breaths to calm my troubled heart before walking inside.

"Hey" I tried to sound as calm as possible, but I don't think I succeeded even a little bit.

"Hey! you are alive" she looked up at me with a smile that didn't even reach her eyes "thought you had died in there or something"

"Nope, am still around" I answered as I sat down on a chair next to her's "Where is Jeon and mum?"

"Oh your mother should be in the house somewhere causing havoc to all innocent souls she can find as usual and your brother. Well he left a while ago, I just assumed it's for work or something like that" her voice trembled slightly as she spoke of Jeon and I noticed how tightly she gripped her tea cup to try and hide her emotions.

"Are you guys okay?" I asked, but she didn't respond. She simply nodded her head in agreement then went back to sipping on her tea.

"I uhm...Kristal, I would like to apologise for what I did earlier" I started nervously. She looked at me and I swallowed hard "I shouldn't have kissed you. It was just a stupid mistake and I regret it. so please forgive me"

"Oh really?" She raised an eyebrow at me "and what about what you said about loving me, was that nothing too?" She asked with her eyes still locked into mine. Piecing my very soul with her stare.

"Uhmm....Well yes, " I answered sounding less confident than I intended.

"So I take it you are going to keep lying about how you feel then?" She sat back in her chair while shaking her head a little.

"What the hell does that mean Kristal?"

"Well it's quite obvious that you have feelings for me Minho and it's definately not stupid to love someone. It's just difficult considering the circumstances in which it happened that's all" she frowned and stood up to put the now empty cup away.

I watched her as she calmly washed her tea cup from the sink and put it away neatly on the dish rack. After she was done, she came back to sit on her chair so calmly as if she just didn't spin my world around with that statement.

"How long have you known?" I asked her. Suddenly angry that she somehow made me go through all that alone without giving me even a single hint. I felt deceived.

"I had my suspicions for a while. The way you would go out of your way to protect me even though you are a brat yourself had me wondering, but it took that night I mistook you for Jeon on that bed to finally confirm my suspicions"

"Why the hell didn't you say anything?" My voice had gone from sounding casual to being totally angry.

"Hey don't be mad at me. Am engaged to your brother, remember? How else did you expect me to react to your feelings?"

I took a deep breath to calm myself "I don't know what to do about this, I really can't control how I feel. Am so sorry" I lowered my head and covered my face with my hands.

"How is it your fault that you fell in love with me? I'm sure it just happened to you as it would happen to everybody else" she held my hand as she spoke and I felt my heart glow with a flame of something deep.

"I wish things were different and you weren't with Jeon and then I wouldn't feel so tortured about loving you" I raised my head to look at her and she looked back at me just as affectionately.

"Trust me when I say that I don't want to see you in pain either minho, because I care about you too much, but am engaged and I love Jeon. Really I do" she said with a little sadness in her eyes.

"Yeah am sure you do" I said sadly.

"He is the kindest man I know and it goes without saying that he would laterally bend backwards if it's for the sake of us both. But min ho, be that as it may, I would never label your love for me as stupid because you are just as dear to me and I swear that if it were under different circumstances, I would choose to be with you in a heartbeat"

My whole heart was in flames as she spoke and am sure she only said all that just to make me feel better about what happened. But all those words did nothing but make me draw even closer to her. I loved her you see, and to think that she didn't think of my love as something terrible or shameful had me feeling so happy.

My heart was ablaze that it made me lose all sense of the very situation we were in and I just went on to kiss her once again.

"Well this is confusing. Now tell me, which one of my sons am I marrying off tomorrow?" My mother's voice laterally cut through the air in the room like a sharpened sword.

Damnit!