Chapter 11: Parents and Children

I finished washing the dishes and decided to watch some tv shows before I leave Ruby's house.

I honestly can not seem to get @zaied.jacobs out of my head. I wonder how you pronounce his name, I also do not think he is a white man. I think he is Indian or Muslim I am not sure but he is not white. I keep going to his Instagram account and looking at all his pictures. He has amazing features and I am surprised he is even interested in me. I mean I am just an anonymous account, I am black and I am so young.

I wonder if he is interested in black girls at all, I mean you never know. Everyone is allowed to have a type and he is my type. He sounded so dominant when we were texting and you should know those dominant men are my biggest weakness. They stand with everything they say and I need that in my life because I hardly know what I want.

My mind keeps drifting off to my dirty thoughts and I think I might as well give in. I keep biting my button lip every time I think about his pink lips circling my nipples and his strong manly hands grabbing my breasts making me feel utmost pleasure. I am a sucker for tits sucking, I just love it so much but right now is not the time and I need to just snap out of it.

I kept scrolling down his page when I suddenly realized that all his locations are places in Cape Town. So does this mean that he lives there? Well, he does I mean he has amazing pictures of the beach and beautiful sunsets.

Yay! I stood up from the coach and started jumping up and down with excitement. I am so excited because I am moving to Cape town soon and this handsome guy who lives there is interested in me.

Woah! I told him to stop talking to me, I think he is surely pissed and he will no longer waste his time on me. I mean I am sure he has forgotten about me because he has millions of hot girls drooling over him in Cape Town. He does not even know who I am, how old I am, and how I look. I should just forget about him and focus on going to Cape town to study my dream course.

"Hey, pretty girl." Ruby's mom greeted me.

"Hey, I am sure you slept like a baby," I replied trying to make small talk.

"Yes I did my dear," she replied and sat down on the couch opposite mine.

"I am going to be leaving soon, I would like to thank you for bringing me out of my comfort and being such a great mother to me. I appreciate you supporting my dreams and welcoming me into your lovely hope. I will be coming back soon of course and you should be ready to hear few amazing songs." I said standing up and opening my arms to hug her.

"Aww, I appreciate you being my daughter's best friend too. You are a good kid my dear and I am taking you home," she replied hugging me back.

"No! Ruby's mom you do not have to do that, I will just take a taxi home." I immediately said.

"I was not asking," she replied standing up from the coach and heading to her room. I am guessing she is going to freshen up and then after she is taking me home.

I was honestly just overreacting, @zaied.jacobs is probably a good person and I just decided to be so mean to him. I am not a person who is mean to people and I always listen to what someone has to say.

I should probably text him but not today. Let me keep him waiting for a while. I do not like looking desperate at all, I mean my life is boring but I will always follow my principles. I hate getting out of my way because I feel a certain way I do not let emotions take over me anymore. I use my brain more than I use my heart and I have not been at peace like this before, it does feel great. I take everything as it comes and I try my utmost best to stay happy because I mean relying on someone else for happiness is just what I do not want to be about. It is EXHAUSTING.

"I think I am ready dear, we can leave." Ruby's mom interrupted my thoughts.

"Okay, let me go get my bags," I replied.

"Let us leave then, I am all set," I said after getting all my belongings.

We got inside the car this time we decided to play Ruby's mom's playlist and I can officially say that she is the coolest. She listens to hip hop,amapiano and pop music. I am honestly so impressed with her, I am going to be coming here during the holidays because I need to be surrounded by positivity after the conversation I am going to have with my parents today. I am going to tell them everything that is inside my heart because at the end of the day I am hurting and home does not feel like home anymore.

I am not happy and it hurts that I get so excited when I find happiness outside my home because at the end of the day family is family. Without my parents, I would not be here and I am grateful they decided to keep me and raise me. I might be damaged in some aspects but Love is not perfect and I do not want to be mad at my parents It amazing. I am a great daughter and I was raised with morals so they are not entirely wrong. I just have to speak out and tell them how I feel, they are only human.

Parents and children should learn how to communicate with each other better because we end up confiding in people who end up hurting our feelings.