Chapter Seventeen

"I'm sorry Munzi." Kensi said. She was sitting on Munzi's bed who was packing. She would be  leaving the next day at dawn.

"What for Kensi?" Munzi asked not looking away from her now fully packed bag.

"For not taking your side but you should know that there are people out there with harder lives than us. You could get cursed for talking to Mom like that." Kensi said and Munzi turned around to look at her. She was fed up.

"You have been nothing but a bitch to me since day one. And now you are still choosing pleasing our mother over your own sister." Munzi said hurt. "You know, I always chose you over myself but now I'm done taking your bull crap. Get out of this room and don't talk to me until you're ready to be human."

Kensi looked at her sister in disbelief. She hadn't expected that to come out of Munzi's mouth. She looked at her one more time and saw pain and anger coursing through her sister's eyes. Maybe she had been a mean sister. She got up and left.

After her sister left, Munzi locked the door and slid against it crying to relieve the ache in her chest. Why couldn't they just be nicer to her. It should have made her scared to have kids of her own if that was what it would make her. Instead, she swore that someday when Adrian came back she would have six kids. A big family and she would be a great mother. She wouldn't carry the burden of their sins anymore. Besides one of the things the f in life stands for, is family. She wasn't giving up on hers. She needed them. God knew that the past year had been a lie. She had lied to herself that it was for the best and that she had been okay but deep down she knew that it was all a lie. She had missed them dearly. She would also keep missing them and would fight to keep them. Because that's what you do when you love someone, you fight for them. She fell asleep that way on the floor but got up at midnight and moved to the bed.

***The third dream***

Munzi and Kensi were sitting in their kitchen cooking. Suddenly Munzi became faint and then she felt her soul and body become separated like a radioactive atom during fission. She found her soul carrying her body. Her soul was Munzi while her body was kamimiu. The body became smaller until it was the body of a child. Kensi turned to give her a strawberry and kamimiu took it. Munzi on the other hand developed a body and carried her younger self. Thing is, Kamimiu was what they called her when they treated her like a child. So maybe the little girl never grew up.

*** End of dream***

The following morning she woke up on time and was already downstairs. It would be a while before she saw everyone again so every precious moment was important. There was no one awake when she went to the kitchen and made breakfast. Collecting eggs from the poultry house and making them the way they all liked, fried. She then toasted the bread and cut the fruits before making tea. It was perfect.

"Good morning Mom." She greeted first when her mother entered the kitchen fully prepared for a busy day at church.

"You are awake?" Jana asked her daughter.

"Yes. I figured that I would get up and make breakfast since it'll be a while before I see you guys again." Munzi explained placing a plateful of food before her mother.

"When is school closing?" Jana asked biting into the toast and smiling. Munzi smiled. She knew that her mother hated waking up early everyday to prepare everyone for the day.

"In three months time. If I'm not held back by work, I will come visit." She said before giving her mother tea in her favorite  mug. The thing about their family was that they knew each other very well. Even if her mother had said mean things to her the previous night, she knew that it wasn't what was meant to come out. And even if it was and she was wrong, she knew her mother. Jana popped like a firecracker when provoked and would often overreact and say whatever she wanted. She didn't care if she hurt anyone in the process. As long as she got it off her chest and she wasn't going to change. So better learn to love her even with all her imperfections. And at the end of the day their fight was a causal relationship. If Munzi hadn't provoked,her mother wouldn't have said those mean things. But we can't always hide forever. It always results in worse things.

"Do you have a job?" Jana asked looking curiously at her daughter. She believed that the only available jobs out there were prostitution and she couldn't have that.

"I don't have one yet but someone has to pay for my life. Besides I have so much free time. Might as well use it to get more experience." Munzi explained while eating her own food.

"Good. Just make sure that you don't become a whore. God knows that you've brought enough shame to this family already." Those words stung but again, it wasn't out of the ordinary. Her mother was a close minded person.

"You never know what brought that woman to choose that path. Maybe it wasn't even a choice. For all we know it was forced on her or maybe she's feeding her child." That was the brave and very happy explanation that Munzi gave before running upstairs to let her mother digest her words. Maybe she couldn't change her but she could try and make her see that life wasn't always black and white. In the long run, it was what would save their family, opening up to new possibilities.

While running up the stairs, Munzi bumped into her father. She quickly pulled away and steadied herself on the stairwell before wiping her torso.

"Why are you running? You could fall." Her father said and continued walking. He was in his pajamas since he wasn't a church goer. Sure he believed but he just didn't have enough patience to sit through church when he could be resting.

"Dad, I'm sorry." Munzi said after a while. Her father looked at her from the bottom of the stairs and smiled a small smile. Her tone had communicated her true meaning behind the words. If she were to fall down the stairs, there was a chance that she would die. Her parents couldn't lose the other twin. It just wasn't right. So she had apologized for herself and Kanzi.

"You have a long journey. Go get ready." He said before heading to the kitchen.

"You are here for breakfast already. Sit and let me serve you." Jana asked standing and pulling out a chair for her husband.

"I got hungry." He said sitting at his usual place at the head of the table. "She is leaving again."

"Here's your tea and eggs. Let me get you the toast." Jana said ignoring her husband's words.

"Woman, stop acting like you don't care, our daughter is leaving again!" He said raising his voice.

"Don't shout at me Kimere. I heard you the first time and chose to ignore for a reason." Jana said turning to face him.

"Not talking about it won't make it go away. We just keep letting things pile up. I'm tired of it. It wasn't her fault that Kanzi died. Kanzi took the sip on her own will." He said before sipping his hot tea.

"Why did it have to be Kanzi that day? Why didn't I think to check on her before that night? If only I had, then maybe she would have survived. It was all my fault that I lost my child." Jana said and started crying. Her husband held her hand. They weren't very good at showing affection or emotions having always believed in logic and nothing else.

"I also ask myself if anything would have happened if I had been home that day. It was our fault but we lay all the blame on Munzi. She also lost her twin and didn't even know it." He said letting go of her hand and biting into his toast harshly.

"I know. I'm just scared to admit that I have been a bad mother. If I let myself look at it another way, then it becomes my fault and I don't know if I can bear that." Jana said wiping her tears and biting her eggs.

"I've heard Munzi say that there is no strength without weakness. You don't just get it right. It had to come from somewhere otherwise how can we appreciate the beauty of daylight if we don't know the ugliness of a dark night." Kimere said sipping more tea to eat with the toast.

"She's so strong. How did that happen?" Jana asks looking into the distance.

"We did." He says also staring ahead.