Chapter 13

Ryder takes me to the kitchen so we can get something to eat.

Since dinner didn't pan out earlier, he decides to make it up to me by making me a club sandwich.

I sit and watch him cut the tomatoes and lettuce while the bacon is on the stove frying. My mouth begins to water.

I decide to make small talk, to take my mind off of the hunger. "Who was your first kill?"

He smiles as he pours us some wine. I feel awkward just coming out and asking him something so personal, but what else can I ask him? His favorite color?

"My first kill was the man who murdered my parents."

What?! I didn't expect that answer at all.

And wasn't he still in middle school when it happened?

"How?! Weren't you still a child? How did you know where to look?"

Ryder hands me a glass and sits next to me in front of the island.

"It was my uncle." He takes a sip from his glass and puts it on the counter. "My father's brother Alex. He loathed my father for who he was and all he had. Four failed marriages, twins who hated him, was an alcoholic and penniless. My dad firing him from Boeing was the straw that broke the camel's back."

Ryder gets up and goes to flip the bacon over. I don't know how to react. His uncle killed his parents?! I am so deep in thought that I don't notice I have swallowed the entire glass of wine.

Ryder turns and looks at me. He then notices the empty glass and grins.

"My mom was the assassin," Ryder begins again as he refills my glass. "She actually helped salvage Boeing for my grandparents, paternal side. They didn't have the money to keep it going, so she put every nickel she had earned into the company, and it took off. Grandfather eventually stepped down and wanted my parents to take control of it. Mom promised she would hang up her guns and help dad, and she did. They were able to expand Boeing and acquire other businesses."

"On a stormy night, Uncle Alex came to the house. He was drunk, yelling how Sarah, my mom, should've been his wife, that I was his son, how the entire family made him feel like shit. Just obscenities. I was in the study with my parents when everything happened. They told me to stay put while they checked on my uncle."

"Dad left the study first. Then Mom left me when she heard my dad yelling. I still remember her walking away from me. It's as if it happened yesterday. Mom looked back at me, smiled, and winked at me. She had beautiful, long, blonde hair and always wore red lipstick. Her skin was whiter than snow. She was gorgeous."

The woman from the portrait in his library. It's his parents!

He exhales deeply and then continues. "Mom was the center of my universe." Ryder is suddenly deep in thought. A look of longing and hurt spreads throughout his face.

He then clears his throat. I can tell he's becoming emotional, reminiscing about that night.

"Anyways, she turned and closed the double doors behind her. After about a minute, I ran toward the door to peek through the keyhole. That's when I heard the first gunshot, and Mom screamed."

"I remember putting my hands over my ears to stop from hearing her screams. She kept yelling for Uncle Alex to put the gun down. He told her if she moved, he'd put a bullet through her head, like he did my father. I hadn't realized, but Dad was dead."

"I looked through the keyhole and saw her turn and run towards the study, towards me, and he shot her. The bullet went out her right eye and through the study door."

"I was so scared my uncle would kill me next, so I hid in a cabinet behind the double doors. He came in, looked around but never found me. He didn't know I saw the whole thing. I was sent to live with my grandparents that very night."

Ryder finishes making my sandwich and puts it in front of me. "Taste it. How is it?"

I grab the plate and place it in front of me. I lost my appetite, especially after revealing that to me. However, I was going to eat it.

Biting into it, I smile. It's delicious! I cover my mouth as I chew. "Maybe it's the hunger, but this is amazing!"

He laughs, winks, and begins making his.

"So fast forward to high school. My grandparents die in a car accident, and everything is left to me. Uncle Alex volunteers to take me in, happy to take me under his wing. He's made in charge of the estate until I turn eighteen."

Ryder's face changes. He looks filled with hate. "I made sure he never saw a lick of that money. I slowly began poisoning him, but I felt like it was taking longer than expected. I wanted my uncle dead from one day to the next. So on his last day of living, I couldn't deal with pretending to be the good nephew."

"So, before school, I went into his bedroom. My uncle was lying sick in bed and had just finished throwing up. I remember just standing in his doorway and feeling disgusted by him. Ashamed to share his blood! He was a waste of space! My parents were gone, and here he was breathing the air they should've been breathing!"

"I walked up to him and whispered, in his ear, that I knew he killed my parents. I remember him being shocked and trying to grab onto me. Before he could say anything, I put a bullet through his right eye. An eye for an eye."

I stop chewing as Ryder shrugs. No wonder he has trouble sleeping at night. His life is what fuels nightmares.

"Do you feel bad about killing him?" I ask. I feel so bad he is reminiscing all of this.

He takes a sip of wine and looks straight ahead. "In a way, yes. I should've told my grandparents and the police the truth. He would've rotted in jail until he died."

Ryder looks angry but then his face changes. He looks calm, which makes me ask another question.

"Question! Why do you do that face?" This is something I meant to ask him.

"What face?" He asks, licking the mayonnaise off of his thumb.

"The one where you show no emotion. Almost calm-like. It's kind of creepy!"

He looks at me confused, and then he gives me that exact look.

"You mean this one." It's more of a statement than a question.

"Yes!"

Ryder opens his mouth to say something and then immediately closes it. For a split second, there's a hint of anger in his eyes.

If I had known this question would leave him flustered, I wouldn't have asked.

"I've realized through the years that if you allow others to see your true feelings, it alone can be your weakness. Your face, itself, can be a target, which can be used to destroy you." He looks past me and out of the window.

I look down at my food. We both finish our sandwiches in silence.

Once we are done, I grab our dishes and put them in the sink. I turn around and walk right into Ryder. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and blush. "Sorry," I whisper.

He looks like he wants to say something but is nervous. I smile as I sit on an island chair.

"Do you want a tour of my office? If you aren't tired, of course!"

I look up at him, hopeful, but then I remember I am held here captive. However, this is the first time in weeks where I don't feel like I am fighting to survive. I still haven't forgotten that someone wants me dead.

I look at Ryder and smile. "Sure!"

He opens his bedroom door with the palm scanner and ushers me inside. We walk straight into his office.

"So this is where you plan everything?" I ask as I begin to look around. It's a nice, sleek office. Almost everything is black. The black marble floor, black desk, and the figurines were also in black. The walls are gray.

Except when I turn around, there is a steel wall. It's right behind his desk. Nothing on it or in front of it. "What's in there?" I point to the wall.

He squints at me. "You really are nosy. You don't miss a thing."

I take a bow and pretend to have a microphone in my hand. "I would like to thank my mother for passing that gene onto me!"

Ryder shakes his head and smiles. "That's cute! All right, stand back."

I run behind him and place my hand on his arm. I am so excited about what he will unveil that I don't feel him freeze under my touch. He scratches his neck nervously and bends over his desk.

"Wait, can I see the button you're going to press?" I ask, looking over his shoulder.

"No! Stop being nosy! " He looks over his shoulder at me while trying to push me away.

"It's not like I can get in here and go through everything. Come on, let me see!" I try to see what button his hand is covering. I jump onto him and try to move his hand. Ryder grins.

He has one hand covering the button, and the other palming my face. I can't see, so I slide off of him. I jump up again, and this time I'm straddling his left hip.

"Let me see, please!"

Ryder's foot slips on a paper that falls from his desk, causing us both to fall onto his desk. I land on top of him.

I start to laugh. He, on the other hand, begins searching for something in my eyes and then lips—a serious look on his face. Ryder slowly reaches up and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear.

Just when I am about to climb off, he pins me with his green gaze. It's like staring into the face of a lion. He is both beautiful and absolutely terrifying.

"Can I try something?" He whispers and swallows, running his fingers down my neck. He bites his lip nervously.

I don't have to think about it. We both want him to kiss me.

He hesitates, so I help him. I grab his head, pulling him towards me, and kiss him! He put his arms around my hips and hugs me tightly, never breaking the connection between our lips.

I am fine kissing him softly, but as each second goes by, I feel his hunger grow for me. His tongue wants access inside of my mouth.

I let him in.

Our tongues are like swords, in a dueling match, trying to get the upper hand on the other. I moan as his hands begin exploring my hips, my stomach, and up my chest.

This becomes too much for me that I move my mouth from his, panting. It's obvious Ryder doesn't want to stop.

He continues his assault on my neck. I close my eyes and surrender, running my hands down his chest and abs. I bite my lip, wanting to put my hands down his pants, but I stop myself.

Ryder then grabs my face and forces his lips back onto mine. His breathing increasing as rapidly as mine.

I have never wanted anything more in my life than this man at this moment.

But as soon as it starts, it stops. I frown as he gently pulls my head away from his. Ryder looks into my eyes and gently kisses my lips.

He sits upon the desk, helping me to stay straddling him. "I've wanted to do that for so long," Ryder says out of breath, pulling me into him. I smile as he kisses me again, running his fingers down my neck also.

"How long?" I whisper, licking his lips sensually. Ryder squints. A small smile forming on the lips I want all over me again.

"Since the first time I saw you," Ryder says, kissing my neck softly.

I begin to recall our first meeting.

He was the creepy guy. The one that kept staring at me the night of the gala. I push him away and look at him. "At the gala?"

"No. Before that," he says, ashamed.

I give him a look of confusion.

"It was actually at Starbucks. I was the tree your mother wanted to climb."