Chapter 25

2 Months Later

Christmas is around the corner, and I haven't heard from Ryder. I begin to lose hope that he's alive. If he's out there, he would've contacted me by now.

Right?

I try to make sure I allow him to catch me. Whether at the flower shop or out shopping, I even make sure I am at the Starbucks on Rodeo drive every day. I guess I'm hoping he will find me and tell me everything is fine; that he will take me back home with him.

Nothing.

Since Max's release from the hospital, my parents let him and his parents stay at Hallo Mansion. I don't want any part of that, so I stay at my home.

Everyone can feel the tension between Max and me.

I desperately want to break up with him, but I just can't. The most annoying part of me being so cold towards him is that he's so understanding.

Max and I are standing in the foyer at Hallo Mansion. The Crawfords and my parents are in the living room drinking and laughing.

Max takes my hand and kisses it. "I notice you've been avoiding me, Sam, and I'm here for you. Take as much time as you need. We'll even push the wedding date back if need be. You are going through something traumatic, and I love you and want to be supportive."

It hurts me that he's such an amazing person, but I can't break his heart. Not right now.

What's worse is that I realize I am fully in love with Ryder. I thought by now I would be over him. That is not the case.

However, Ryder is never coming back, is he? Max is in love with me, and I'm starting to feel like I owe him my life and my hand in marriage.

He was kidnapped because of me! Because those assholes saw him on television and wanted to extort him.

"Max, thank you! You really are amazing, and you've been amazingly patient with me." I smile weakly at him.

"That's what you do for the one you love." He closes the gap between us and puts his arms around my hips, pulling me close to him.

I hesitate at how uncomfortable our closeness is. Max closes his eyes and brings his lips to mine.

Oh no! I don't want a kiss from him! My eyes begin to pool.

Max opens his eyes and looks at me, becoming worried. "I'm sorry baby; I didn't mean to upset you-"

I blink, and the tears flow down my cheeks. "No, it's fine! These are actually tears of joy," I say, lying and wiping my tears away.

These tears are actually for Ryder, but I'll never confess that.

I remove his hands from my hips, and I look down at his hand, staring at the black glove he's wearing.

It's to cover up the fact that he's missing a finger. It makes me feel even worse. I walk to the closest table that has a kleenex. I grab a tissue and wipe my eyes.

Mom walks in on us and notices I am upset.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?!"

Great! Something else I don't want to deal with.

"Yeah, Mom! We were talking about the wedding and we..." I stand next to Max, grabbing his hand. "...have decided to let you finish planning our wedding!"

Both Max and Mom look at me, surprised.

"No! Really?! Oh, Sam!" Mom screams and hugs us both simultaneously. She then runs back into the living room to tell our parents.

"I thought she was the last person to help with any of that?" Max smiles, still looking confused.

I turn to him and sigh, putting my hands in my pants pockets. "Well, when I was kidnapped, I promised myself if I ever escaped, I would let Mom plan the wedding. I hope you don't mind. It's just-"

"Stop." Max holds a hand up. "You have nothing to apologize for. I honestly started to feel like you didn't want to marry me." He weakly smiles.

Max grabs me by my arms and hugs me. I close my eyes and hesitantly put my arms around his waist. This should be an embrace between Ryder and me.

I guess it's time to accept the fact that he isn't coming back. I will never know what happened to him.

And that I'll soon be Mrs. Samantha Crawford.

The holidays came and went. With the help of my mom, we put the finishing touches on my wedding.

Tonight is my bridal shower, and I want a simple, intimate dinner with my friends and family.

Nothing too crazy or crowded.

The twins are disappointed that I don't want a bachelorette party.

Once I told them I still didn't want to be around clubs and dance music, they understood and left it alone due to my trauma.

"You look beautiful in white, Sam! I still can't believe your wedding is a week away," Rhonda says, finishing up my hair. Rachel is doing my makeup.

They are helping me get ready due to my beautician calling and canceling at the last minute.

Mom was beyond angry! She told the woman she would never work in this town again.

"Thank you, guys! I feel beautiful," I say, looking down at my phone. I'm playing solitaire, trying to distract myself from the fact that I don't want to be around anyone tonight.

"Duh! I would say we perform miracles but you are already a beauty."

Rhonda shakes her head at her twin. "What Rachel is trying to say, Samantha is that you didn't need our help. You look amazing, no matter what!"

I sigh and smile at them. "Thank you so much," I say as I get up and walk to the mirror.

The girl staring back at me is not happy. She's trying to put on a brave face, and it's working. I'm wearing a simple, white dress paired with pearls, golden shoes, and a clutch.

Tonight is about spending time with all the women I know and love. Also, celebrating the fact that in a week, I'll become Mrs. Crawford.

Forever.

We leave my house at 7:30 pm. The bridal shower will be at my favorite restaurant. Nobu.

As we pull up, I start to feel even more depressed.

"Sam?" Rachel looks over at me. She's driving her red Porsche. "Are you okay?" A look of worry is written on her face.

"Yes," I lie. "I am! I'm just hungry."

Rachel nods. She knows better. I'm glad she doesn't prod.

We walk straight back to the private room where everyone is. The twins walk into the room before me. I walk in after.

"SURPRISE!!" Everyone yells like I didn't know this was happening.

I try to laugh and act like I am so happy to be here.

The room is lovely! Champagne color candles in glass jars on every table. White roses are scattered all over the place. Mom and Mrs. Crawford walk up to me and hug me.

"Do you like it?" Mom asks happily, with a drink in her hand.

"It's perfect, Mom! Thank you so much!" I smile at her as she air kisses me.

"Good! Now go and say hi to everyone. And take a look at all the gifts you've gotten so far. I can't wait to see what you get for your wedding! Go! Go! Go! Don't be rude! Greet everyone!"

I shake my head. Mom is back to being her usual, annoying self. But I am happy to be celebrating with her, nonetheless.

I spend the first thirty minutes greeting everyone. A lot of my college girlfriends are here. My co-workers from the flower shop are also here. The twin's mom and younger sisters are an actual surprise! They live in Milan, and I haven't seen them in years.

In all, about thirty women are celebrating with me.

Mom says more people were supposed to come. However, they chose to come to the wedding because they had to fly in.

She wasn't too thrilled about that.

After my best friends make their toast, I decided to go to the bathroom and freshen up my makeup. I really am in no mood to party.

There's a huge lump in my throat that's been growing all night, and I'm doing everything to stay composed.

I want to curl up in bed with a good book. Maybe something to do with vampires. Nothing to do with romance! No lovely, kissy type book. As a matter of fact, love sickens me! Everything sickens me! This wedding most of all!

I walk into a stall and pull my dress up. I had one too many glasses of champagne and need to relieve myself. I reach for the toilet paper and suddenly begin to sob.

Uncontrollably!

I am so hurt, so unhappy! Of all the people to feel like this, why me?!

Why don't I have the guts to end it with Max?! Save me the agony!

I am hurting over a man who probably died or wants nothing to do with me.

No! I tell myself as I dab my tears away with the toilet paper. I'll ruin my dress if my makeup hits it. I don't want makeup staining my white dress, and I definitely don't need everyone asking what happened.

After I leave the stall, I wash my hands. I turn slowly and walk to a beautiful, velour, red loveseat and sit.

I am going to marry someone I don't love. This is my life. It has always been this way. With me being so selfless.

Always making sure everyone around me is happy, while I suffer in silence. My greatest flaw. But the one thing that I truly want, I can't have.

It's not fair!

I slowly regain a little control of my emotions and take my compact out of my golden clutch, trying to fix my makeup.

Sighing sadly, I look into the mirror. It's of no use. My eyeliner is running. I look like the walking dead, and a raccoon just had a baby! Maybe I should get an Uber and go home.

I stand and take my phone out. Walking to the door, I find the Uber app and grab the door handle. Opening it, I walk through, hitting someone, and drop my phone.

"I am such a clutch! I am so sorry," I say, picking up my phone and standing tall. I smile at the person, and my breathing stops.

Ryder!