Chapter 35

I sigh.

"Ryder, wake up!"

I smack him on the face, startling him. He jumps and looks around, confused for a second. When he looks at me, I notice his eyes are bloodshot red, and tears are threatening to fall from them.

"I hadn't noticed I fell asleep! I'm sorry!" Ryder rakes his hair and sits up quickly, trying to compose himself. He opens his laptop and begins staring at the screen, rubbing his eyes.

I sit back as the Flight attendant comes with my plate and a cup of wine. She asks Ryder if he's hungry. He nods.

White rice, parmesan chicken, and a mixture of vegetables. My mouth waters as I look at my plate, but then I decide not to eat it.

My parents are all I can think about at this moment. The attendant appears with his plate and his glass of wine.

"LeAnn, may I have a cup of water, please?" Ryder asks.

She turns and smiles. "Sure thing, Mr. Forñay!"

Oh, I tell myself. That's her name!

After Ryder clears half of his plate, I decide to take a couple of bites. I can't eat everything on my plate, but I need to make sure my energy is up!

We aren't exactly on vacation or anything. This is probably a suicide mission to get to my parents. One that scares me half to death, but I am going!

It will take about twelve hours just to land and refuel in Africa, then another hour to get to Athens, where we will drive into Santorini. That alone takes half an hour.

"You're not going to finish your meal?" Ryder brings me back from my thoughts.

"Uh, no! I've eaten enough." I sigh and look out of the window. I bring my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

I have just married a psychopath, and now I am fifty thousand feet in the air with the man who he hired to kidnap and kill me.

Not once, but twice!

Now we are on our way to stop my psychopath husband from killing my parents. All because he's power and money hungry!

Ryder clears his throat and crosses his arms, staring at me. LeAnn comes back and grabs our plates.

"Listen, Sam. I know you want to hear an apology, but I'm not sorry for how things played out."

I snap my neck back at him. Did he really say that?!

"Oh, you're not sorry for pretending to care for me?! For using me as bait, kidnapping me, and leaving me to rot?! You knew there was something off about Max, and you wait a week before my wedding to say something?!" I chuckle wryly.

His brows furrow. "I tried to tell you! You didn't want to listen! What did you want me to do?!" Ryder snaps back, visibly angry.

It really hurts me that he feels he's in the right. I look out of thee window.

He passes his hand through his hair, trying to calm himself down. He then goes to grab my hand.

I hold onto my legs tighter so he can't grab me. I don't want him touching me at all!

"If I have to be a monster to you, again, then so be it! I will help you get your parents back, and I'll kill that son of a bitch for hurting you. After that, I promise to disappear! I won't call you or anything. It'll be like I never existed."

I'm trying so hard not to cry! He's breaking my heart, and, still, he doesn't care!

"I don't deserve you, and I'll keep saying it, Sam. What we have is dangerous. I can't change my ways just because I might be in-"

He stops and swallows. Ryder clears his throat and looks down nervously at his hands.

My heart falls as I look at him and then back out of the window. Was I hoping for him to tell me that he loves me? I know that it will be too much for him.

I'm sure the only people he ever loved were his parents.

I am nothing to him.

Probably just a payday that made him grow a conscience.

But still! It hurts!

"You have always been a monster. You will never change, and I don't expect you to," I say, defeated, trying to swallow the growing lump back down.

I suddenly remember there's a bedroom at the back of the plane. Anywhere but near Ryder is where I want to be!

I stand and make my way back there.

I open the door to the room and close it behind me, not taking my hand off the doorknob. I place my hand and forehead on the door and start to sob uncontrollably.

Why on Earth did I let myself fall for him?! He was hired to kill me, for goodness sake! How stupid have I been? On top of that, I married a lunatic that wanted me dead the entire time?!

What the hell is wrong with me?! I went years without a relationship. The minute I dip my toe in the pond, I'm dodging bullets, assassins, and psychos!

I turn and sit on the bed, wiping my tears, but it's of no use.

It's like a hose that will not go off!

I give up and lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling. My heart is broken, and it's over some asshole with family issues.

I'm sure if they were alive, he wouldn't be so heartless. Then again, I probably wouldn't have ever met him.

"You need to pull yourself together," I say out loud. "Your parents are in danger, and you're crying over some prick. You love him, but he doesn't love you back. It's all right! You won't ever have to see him again when this is all over."

"You'll find someone eventually! You'll run an extensive background check, fall in love, and marry him. It'll be Ryder's loss. It's not the end of the world!" I exhale loudly and sit back up, feeling a tiny bit better.

Grabbing tissue off the night table, I wipe the last of my tears away. I decide to head back to the cabin. Mom and Dad will be my only driving force right now!

I get up and open the door. I look up, and Ryder is standing there. Both of his hands are on the door frame. His head is down—a solemn look on his face.

"Did you mean that?" He whispers, never looking up at me.

"Mean what?" Was he eavesdropping?

"Loving me but wanting to find another?"

Ryder is starting to piss me off! He just said he wanted nothing to do with me!

"Are you asking because you heard me talking to myself?!"

The nerve of this guy! He can break my heart, but I'm not allowed to break his?!

I cross my arms in front of my chest angrily. "Let me get this straight! You are fine being away from me, as long as I'm not in the arms of another man?" I scoff. "Is this just like the tantrum you threw back at my house when you saw Max and me naked-"

He stands straight and starts walking towards me, making me fall silent. Uncomfortably, I have to back up into the room. He has an angry look on his face.

One that I saw hours ago when Max hit me.

"What are you doing, Ryder?!" I ask as he grabs me by my arms and pulls me to him. "No, please! Don't do this to me!" Tears are pooling in my eyes again.

I can say I'm scared, but that is a lie! I want to be in his arms! Feeling his breath on my face, my chest, smelling his scent. However, being this close to him will confuse me. I have to be strong! I don't want him thinking he can sucker me in just by showing me any affection.

He kisses me passionately. Pulling my hips into his.

No, I tell myself. I am done being suckered into his lies! I push him away and slap him. Not once but twice.

I hate him!

Ryder doesn't flinch or show any emotion at all. He stares at me. Suddenly, he grabs the back of my head and kisses me again. I continue to fight, but he just deepens the kiss, forcing me to stop my assault.

If anything, I am lying to myself! I love him, and I want to be with him.

No matter what I say, he is the man my Grandpa told me about. The man I have to fight tooth and nail for if I want my happily ever after.

I put my arms around his waist, enjoying this moment between us, melting in his arms.

Ryder suddenly stops and pulls my hips into his again. "You drive me crazy! Do you know that?" He asks, out of breath. "You don't listen; you talk back, you're so nosy!"

A flash of hurt as my brows furrow.

He looks into my eyes and gently runs his hand down my neck. "But you are smart, beautiful, and caring. I would be lying if I said I didn't love you, Samantha Hallowell."

More tears spilled down my cheek. What?!

Ryder swallows nervously. His eyes glaze over. "I love you, Samantha. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I loved you. And I'll do whatever you want me to do, as long as you stay with me even if I have to make it up to you every single day of my life. I will!"

I don't know what to say! Me being in shock is an understatement. Ryder put his hands to my cheeks and rubs my tears away.

"I'm sorry for not telling you the truth," he continues. "Or anything else! I'm used to doing it all on my own and not having to be questioned by anyone."

Ryder searches my face for something. I am at a loss for words.

"I need to be with you because of the way I feel when I'm not with you. I don't want to live my life anymore if you're not in it."

I smile, but then it fades. This is everything I want to hear! Just not right now.

I close my eyes, feeling sick to my stomach. It feels like I suddenly have no more fight in me to deal with anything at all.

Not him! Not Max! Not even my own parents!

"I don't feel well," I tell him as I put my head on his chest. The room starts spinning. A look of concern grows on his face as he helps me find my balance. He then guides me to the bed.

"We still have plenty of time left before we reach Greece. Lay down and go to sleep, okay?"

I nod as he helps me under the covers. Ryder kisses me on the forehead and walks to the door. He turns to look at me one last time before he leaves the room. I close my eyes, wishing I was anywhere but here.