Chapter 13

I am running. I have no idea where I am going, or how I will get there. All I know is that I cannot stay here any longer, in this castle. I cannot pretend anymore that everything is alright. I cannot be a part of their scheme to kill every prince that comes by. 

At first, it was fun, like a game. We were kept in the castle all the time. We could not go outside to play, to talk to other people, to breathe the fresh air of the world. Nothing. Our father kept us locked away, using us as temptations for the surrounding kingdoms. 

He knew where we were going; of course he knew. He was the one keeping us prisoner, so how could he not know that every night, we slipped on our shoes, the ones made so thin that they wear out after one night of dancing, and pulled a lever, revealing a secret chamber in our room? We would slip out, quiet as mice, quiet as the fireplace that kept us warm in the night, and we would steal down the secret hallway to little boats waiting outside. It was our one night of freedom per week. We would climb into the little boats, each of my eleven sisters and myself, and row across the shore. The stars burned cold above us, as cold as our actions. There, twelve handsome men would be waiting for us, ready to take our hands, pull us off the boats and onto the land. There, we would dance and dance the night away, the music from the band magical, twisting around us, making us feel alive. Just as dawn would begin to creak over the horizon, we snuck back into the boats, row back across the shore, and slip back into our beds before the sun rose.

Of course, our father, the king, knew about our little escapades. He was the one who designed them, perhaps a measure of control to help us not go crazy in here. I'm pretty sure it failed anyway. He always wants to control everything, and everything must be according to his way, or else it does not matter. He sent out a proclamation: find where my daughters are going each night, and I will let you marry one of them. If not, you will be sentenced to death. 

Harsh, yes, but I live in a harsh and terrible world. This is the realm I live in, that I am destined to be a princess in. 

So suitors came, and suitors went. Each one tried their best to discover our secret, but none could. Every one fell to my father's sword. It made a bit of sense, if you think about it. My father could quietly and legally get rid of any budding competition from the other kingdoms. My sisters and I went along with his scheme for so long; to us, it didn't matter who needed to die, as long as we were able to leave the castle for one night a week. It wasn't always like this. He wasn't always so cruel and so tyrannical; it was only after he met her that that things became worse.

But one day, all of that changed. The day that he came. 

He was so wonderful; he was different. He was kind, you could tell that about him immediately. He was just a humble soldier, not even a knight. He had been too poor to buy the title of knight, and so had sold his services as a wandering soldier. In this land, kindness doesn't matter, only how strong you are, or how much damage you can inflict with a sword. But this man, he took the time to give an old woman a cup of water. Most would not do that; most people would simply walk their own way, too concerned with their own business to care about some old woman by a well. 

Not him. He gave her a drink of water, and in return, she gave him her enchanted cloak. With that cloak, he visited the room before going officially to see my father. All my other sisters were away, bathing or eating lunch. I was on my bed reading, trying to capture the last few rays of daylight. He was wonderful; we talked for hours about what I was reading, why I was trapped in that awful castle. I begged him not to see my father, but he went anyway. 

I left because I could not bear seeing  him killed. Not another one. And, there is another reason for my departure, a secret that I am keeping hidden, that I have managed to keep hidden for so long. I'm not sure when exactly it started, nor am I sure that it is here to stay. I wish it weren't. 

When I dance, something happens. When I hear the drumbeats pounding their sacred rhythm, I get a feeling in my gut. That rhythm pounds through me, shakes me to my very core, and I begin to see things. 

Not things. People. I see people long since dead, their souls floating in the spaces between worlds. Sometimes, they can talk to me. Others, not even a sound. But I see them all the same. I see their begging, hopeful eyes, desperate to have me bring them back to life, but I can't. I can only see them and speak to them; no one can bring the dead back to life. 

So I see all of them. I see all of the dead suitors, every single one that we, my sisters and I sentenced to die. They moan and wail, and beg for me to stop this madness. They long to be with their families again. I see every single person that my father has ever killed, and I can't stand it anymore. 

I tried to ignore it. I did not go out for several weeks, but I could not take the boredom any more. I could not support staying in the same castle for weeks on end, never leaving, always cooped up without a breath of fresh air. 

That's when I decided to leave. 

My sisters are poisoned with my father's thoughts and my father's philosophy. They still think it's all a game. But it's not. It will never be a game when there are people dying. 

I can't take it anymore. I cannot take the pain and suffering my father is inflicting on the people. I have lived too long in the tower of ivory, waiting for someone to come along and change my life. I realized that no one can change my life, except for me. So I took my chance on the night that we could leave the castle. Instead of climbing into the boats as usual, I stole into the forest. 

Now I am running, desperate to find someone, anyone who can help me. My life, and everyone's life depends on it. I hope to find someone who can free me of this curse, of seeing people once they have died. 

I hope to see the humble soldier again, but he is probably long dead. I hate myself for leaving, for not trying to save him, but I am only one person against eleven sisters. Against a king for a father. Against an entire kingdom. Still, when I close my eyes at night, it is his face I see.