I Know What He Needs

Emily got home around 11 to find her roommate Delsie was still up watching her favorite show, Tales of the Elf Kingdom. Emily flopped down on the couch next to her.

“Hey, looking good,” Delsie said. This was refreshing, an actual compliment coming from Delsie.

“You too!” Emily replied, admiring her roommate’s sparkling eye shadow, “Did you go out somewhere?”

“Yeah,” Delsie said, looking a bit sheepish. “I went on a date.”

“Nice!”

“It’s still too early to tell,” Delsie said coyly, “but I think we might have a connection.”

Emily felt fairly comfortable around her roommate again after what seemed like a period of underhanded cattiness. Maybe Delsie just needed to get back out into the dating game.

As they watched the show, which focused on a love triangle between an elf princess and two of her admirers, Delsie commented, “I wish she would just pick one.”

“But it’s part of the fun,” Emily said, “not knowing who she’s going to choose.”

“Don’t you feel bad for those guys, though?” Delsie asked, which Emily thought sounded a bit weird. “They’re waiting and waiting, but she’s just toying with them.”

Delsie’s expression looked fairly neutral, but Emily had to wonder if she was trying to very subtly imply something. Maybe her roommate was still on her case about dating multiple men.

Emily thought she overheard Delsie talking about her on the phone on several occasions. She wasn’t completely sure if the conversation was about her, but Delsie seemed to be complaining to someone about a woman who was kind of slutty and spoiled by men’s attention. And then she dropped little hints about Emily dating too many men... It almost sounded like something Josh said the other day.

She had to wonder: did Delsie know Josh? Delsie was a friend of a friend of Emily’s from her home town, which was how they decided to rent the apartment together. She might know some of the same people. It was a chilling thought.

Not wanting Delsie to suspect anything, Emily watched out the rest of the episode and tried not to do anything out of the ordinary before saying goodnight.

Just as she was getting into bed, her phone pinged, alerting her to a text message with an attachment.

It said:

Good night,

Byron

The attachment was a video of a Great Dane sniffing and licking the camera, its head comically distorted by the extreme close-up. Emily laughed out loud.

She really wanted to see Byron again. Yet she sensed a simple plan of “get together with Byron” was not going to work.

The next day was a Sunday, so Emily had plenty of time to consider the situation. She made a leisurely breakfast of cereal with sliced strawberries while trying to think of a way to deal with Byron and his mother.

One thing was clear: after having to evade Josh all these years, she did not want a relationship with another unhinged man. She didn’t really want a relationship with anyone. All she wanted was something fun and easy-going, not “until death do ye part.”

She decided to call Sylvia. First, she made sure Delsie was not there because that girl had been giving her the creeps lately.

Emily dialed the number written on Sylvia’s business card.

“Hello,” Sylvia said in her smooth, confident voice.

“Hello Sylvia. This is Emily. I’ve thought about your offer, and I’m not going to take it.”

“I presume you have a counter-offer?” Sylvia asked.

“I’m not ready for a serious relationship,” Emily explained, “and based on what you’ve told me, neither is Byron. However, because he’s a very nice person and I like him, I would like to be his friend.”

For a few seconds the line was silent...

“I really expected more from you,” Sylvia said at last. “I thought you were smarter than this.”

“I guess I’m not that smart,” Emily said sarcastically.

“A man and a woman can’t be friends,” Sylvia said as if stating a fact carved in stone, “It never works. You’re just setting yourself up for failure.”

“It would be more of a failure if I pretended to love him forever,” Emily argued. “Byron needs a friend more than a girlfriend who will never leave him no matter what.”

“I know what he needs,” Sylvia fired back. “I’m his mother!”

Emily nearly burst out laughing because she half expected Sylvia to say he needs a good roll in the hay with a woman who never leaves.

“And if you called me today to get my support, you don’t have it,” Sylvia continued. “In fact, I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you and Byron never see each other again.”

“Actually,” Emily said, “I called to tell you I won’t accept your offer, but I am still going to see Byron. I just want to make sure you understand I won’t take any money from you. And I don’t care whether or not you support me.”

“We’ll see how far you get without my support,” Sylvia said snidely.

“Yes, it should be interesting,” Emily responded, “especially if Byron finds out you went behind his back trying to pay someone to be his girlfriend. I wonder what he would think?”

“You’re playing with fire, girl,” Sylvia said, “You better not tell him, or it’ll be the end of you.”

“I won’t,” Emily said calmly, “as long as you stay out of my way.”

Then she clicked the button to end the conversation.

Emily almost scared herself with how good she was getting at dealing with rich b*tches. Had she just blackmailed an old lady? But she felt confident Sylvia could take it.