Not Alive (Eleven)

As we waited for the group. I went to get a glass of water in the kitchen. My head was swimming with images and words.

"I told you they always end up dead. " the words echoed.

I took a big gulp of the cool water, hoping it would cool off the heat. My body was becoming hotter with every second.

“Take care of him, joy”

“Joy”

“Separate them.”

“Don’t”

“They are taking me away.”

“No that’s my sister please.”

“NO!”

I hadn’t realized, I was squeezing the glass like my life depended on it. It wasn't until the glass had cracked, starting to cut me, did I let go. Shuttering the glass all over the kitchen floor. Immediately dropping to the floor I began to grab the pieces. I needed to clean up at the same time I couldn’t grab them properly, I was shaking uncontrollably.

"What happened?" I heard Jess ask. "What the freak? Le your bleeding!" she panicked as she tried to grab my hands. I yanked them back and continued my task.

Clean

Cut

Ouch

Shit

Grab

Cut

Clean

Cut

I kept on cleaning, going on and on yet it made the cuts worse. At this point, I could feel the blood seeping out of me but I couldn’t stop myself. I felt compelled to do it.

"Lena, what is wrong? Talk to me. please" she kept asking. Begging. She wouldn’t understand. Only I could hear them.

"dead!" it echoed.

"piece of shit"

"feel good"

Suddenly everything darkened. The voices drowning out, nothing but the memories.

I opened my mouth widely as I gasped, a sudden need and rush running through me, I screamed. Everything felt overwhelming that I needed to let it out, the sobs followed. The pain in my body developing, increasing.

I smelled a fragrance that began to calm me. My body began to relax and the memories disappeared. I opened my eyes and found glassy dark brown eyes staring down at me. His hands cupping my face and kissed my lips. The shivers spread like wildfire. I looked at him and whispered "you're not dead." he laughed.

"Yeah but if you leave me. I'd rather be," he whispered.

"I'm not alive," I whispered before everything went black.