Day 11: Oliver

He didn't know what had come over him when he went back the Felix that day at school. But he did know he didn't like the way Ben and Theodore were doing. Violence was never the answer and what they did that day in the bathroom was a line that he promised he would never cross.

So when Ben and Theodore were talking about "punishing" Felix, he felt like he had to do something. He didn't really like Felix either, but no one deserved the way those two treated him. Luckily, Felix had agreed to a talk with him. It wasn't easy, as he was more nervous than he thought. But he got the words out. Felix didn't forgive him, which was a shame but not unexpected.

He wrung his hands together, waiting for his dad to pick him up. It was a shame his car was being repaired, damn Ben! He shouldn't have been surprised, but Ben had found out he went back to Felix in school to ask him for that talk. He wasn't happy and even questioned his loyalty but Oliver didn't give in. Which resulted in another anger issue that Ben needed to fix, but he hadn't so he trashed his car. Not too bad, but it was a warning. To "stay in the f*cking line."

If Ben found out Oliver had warned Felix, he definitely would need to buy a new car, if he was lucky. He looked around him, cautious of every shadow and every rustle in the bushes. When not his dad, but mom showed up, he was tired and stressed to his core, if that even was an expression.

'Hey, lovely.' Oliver shivered by that nickname. His mother has always called him by that name, but lately, he doesn't deserve that name anymore. He was a terrible person, and now that he was in a somewhat safe environment, he felt the guilt wash over him.

He muttered a small 'Hey.' but felt his insides turn inside out when he tried to act normal.

His mother started driving and as she drove off she kept stealing glances at him. Oliver sat upright, not daring to move in fear of spilling something he shouldn't.

'Hey, is something wrong?' His mom asked, her voice full of motherly concern. 'Did something happen at the café?'

'I'm alright, mom. Don't worry about me.' He sounded strained, he hated this. He hated losing control over his voice. His father sounded loud and clear in his head: "Don't be weak, son. Always be in control."

'Oliver...' His mother calling his name like this, was what did it. He felt his bottom lip trembling, he clenched his hands on his lap, tried to stop the tears from going. 'Hey...' Her hand came down on his own hands. Oliver bowed his head and let the control go. 'Oliver...'

He vaguely noticed his mother pulling over, unbuckling her seatbelt, and grabbing his face, turning it to her. 'My darling boy, what's going on?' Her caring hands grabbed the back of his head and directed it to her shoulder. He could only let her. He was trembling and just felt the guilt comes crashing down, damaging him from the inside, and not letting him up to breathe.

'I'm sorry, mom. So sorry...' Gaining control over his body once again, he reached out and buried his face in his mom's neck. She just held him, rubbed his back, and waited until he gained control over his emotions again.

'It's okay, darling. You can cry. I know what your dad sometimes says to you, but for a very smart man, he can sometimes be very stupid. Just cry, I'll hold you.'

And of course, that made him cry even harder. He knew he was going to be very embarrassed later, but for now, he cried out all the hurt, the guilt, and just the feeling of disgust for his actions.

After a while, he let go of his mom and sat back in the car seat. 'I'm so sorry mom, I'm a horrible person...'

'And why do you think that?'

'The reason why I went to this cafe today, was because I needed to apologize to a person I've hurt. I've hurt him for a long time, and I should've stood up for him, helped him or something. But I just stood there and did nothing!'

'And why did you choose today to apologize?'

'Because even worse things will happen to him if I didn't warn him...' He looked down at his hands in his lap as he waited for his mother's answer.

Which she didn't for a while, and it made Oliver nervous. He knew she hated bullies the most, she detested them. So he wouldn't be too surprised if she would curse at him or throw him out of the car, or worse even, out of the house.

'Okay. Well, that is very bad. And I can't say I'm proud of you for causing someone else to be hurt.' Oliver flinched. He knew it. He shouldn't have said anything, but on the other hand, he was also relieved that it was over, in a way. 'But, I'm also aware of the circumstances. Oliver, look at me.'

He did. And all he saw was concern and worry. Not a sliver of hate or anger.

'You're not a bad person, Oliver. I don't believe that for a second. Yes, you did bad things. You basically f*cked up. But, you're trying to be better, right? By warning him, by apologizing to him. Does this mean everything you've done is gone and forgotten? No. You'll feel like a bad person for a long time, and you probably deserve that in a way. But you can redeem yourself. By continuing to be better, to stand up for him now, to protect him now. By cutting off some friends...' She looked at him knowingly. 'I'm not a complete idiot, Oliver.'

He was shocked, to say the least. His mother wasn't going to kick him out of the car ór the house. Also, she wasn't actually mad. She was trying to level with him. Without any other word said, he hugged her again. 'I'm so sorry. I'll be better, I promise.'

'Oh, darling. You're already halfway there, just continue on this path and you'll be fine.' She paused, then: 'And stop seeing, Ben and the other weird guy. I've told you this already, but they are truly a bad influence. But I believe you see that now too, right?'

He half-laughed, half-cried. 'Yeah, I will. I promise.'

That night, he made a promise to himself. Starting tomorrow he will not hang out with Ben or Theodore again. His mother was right, he should cut off ties with them, how difficult that may be at first. Also, he wasn't going to become friends with Felix, (he still didn't really like the guy), but he would do everything to protect him from his former friends.

Things had to change for the better. He had to change for the better.