Chapter 352

"He's ok. He's been air lifted to a safe place and is at a military hospital." Auggie said.

"Oh thank god!" Pearl said. She had been up all night, pacing the floor, waiting for word.

"Just breathe." Auggie said. Maggie handed her a glass of water.

"You should try to get some rest." She said.

"No. Not until I at least talk to him." Pearl said.

"There's another issue." Jim said. "Erik had been outside, across the street, all night. He slept there. I'm having the guards arrest him for loitering."

"No." Pearl said. "I'll go talk to him."

"Pearl, I don't think that's a good idea."

Maggie said.

"No. It isn't." She said, turning and walking out.

**********************

"Why are you here?" Pearl asked, walking across the drive and to the back street where Erik was standing. Security followed her out and had them basically surrounded, watching their every move.

"I wanted to make sure you were ok." He said, looking up at her.

"Isn't that tedious to you? Making sure I'm ok? Don't you have some women to hurt? I thought that was your thing. Their pain, not their safety." She said.

"I deserve that. And you aren't wrong." He said. "Is Bash ok?" He asked.

"You can leave now. You see I'm fine. Please go or we will have you arrested for loitering."

Pearl said, turning to walk back to the palace.

"I have this… weight of regret on my shoulders. I love you. I always loved you. In my own, fucked up, wrong way, I loved you. I wanted you to know that. To say that to you." He said, looking at her with desperation.

Pearl turned and looked at him.

The apathy in her eyes was obvious and Erik knew then what it meant.

"I understand love now. It was always toxic to me, until Sebastian. So, unfortunately, I cannot say the same. I didn't love you. I wanted to save you. I wanted to be loved by you. But that's not love. I don't even hate you. I feel nothing. Just disgust maybe. So go back to the life you have now and cross me off your twelve steps list or whatever this is. I forgive you." She said. She turned around and left him standing there. He looked at Jim and said, "I want to help. Is there anything I can do?"

"Go home. Work on you. You have a new trial coming up. Leave her be." Jim said.

Erik sighed and nodded and got in his car and headed back to Camden.

*********************

It had been a week before Pearl got word on Sebastian. Dylan had flown in and was staying with Pearl and the kids. When Pearl asked if Gail was coming, Dylan skirted the subject.

"I don't want to talk about that right now. We need to focus on you." He said.

"Dylan, what happened?" Pearl asked, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"I just… couldn't. I couldn't let her in. I tried, Pearl. I really did. She's smart and beautiful. But I, I don't know. I'm not normal." He said, looking down and shaking his head.

"No one is." Pearl said, kissing his cheek.

"No Pearl, you don't understand. I'd rather be alone and have my love for you, if only inside my heart, than try to give it to someone else. It feels dirty to me. I can't explain it. I see that you're happy. But I just, I am better alone." He said, his voice crackling. She could feel his torment and wanted so badly to take it away. She had guilt that she carried regarding Dylan. She always did.

"I'm so sorry, Dylan." She said.

"Don't be." He said with his slightly crooked half smile. "I'm not."

She smiled back and hugged him. "You are more to me than anyone else will ever be." She said. "Because your love for me had always been true, especially in friendship."

Jim walked in and told them they were needed in the main office.

"What is going on?" Pearl asked Auggie as she walked in.

"We have word from Bash. He is coming home tomorrow." Auggie said.

Pearl smiled and clapped. "Oh my god, I'm so happy!! Can I speak to him?" She asked.

"Yes but there is something you need to know." Auggie said. Jim put his head down and the rest of the people in the room did the same.

"What? What's going on?" She asked.

"He's not coming back the same as he was when he left." Mr. Delaney said.

"What does that mean?" Pearl asked.

"He has suffered a severe spinal cord injury. He will need to be examined by the doctors here, but it doesn't look good. Pearl, he may never walk again." Auggie said.

Dylan placed his hand over Pearl's. Pearl felt a stabbing pain in her chest and her heart began to race. She had felt it before. It was a panic attack.