Chapter 459

"I am so excited for this trip, Christian. I loved the first time in Scotland with you so much." Nora finished packing her suitcase the night before their scheduled departure. Christian almost felt bad about keeping the secret from her, because she was so excited just to go with him.

"Yes. It will be lovely." He was doing his best to be bland but he was a terrible actor. "I'm going to have a drink with Erik and Auggie before bed, I'll let you finish up and rest."

Nora smiled and kissed his cheek. "Ok babe."

He smiled and took his leave, finding Erik in the study, sitting in front of the fireplace with a cup of tea.

"Erik. How are you this evening? I haven't seen you in a couple of days."

"Yes," Erik said, "I've been tying up all the ends of your wedding and it's all set." He seemed a bit off, down maybe, Christian noticed.

"Are you alright?"

Erik sighed and gave a half smile. "Not really, no."

"Care to talk about it?" Christian was genuinely concerned. He was definitely out of sorts.

"I don't want to burden you on the night before your wedding. Let's have a drink? I got you a present. Macallan Lalique Single Malt. It isn't the best stag party a bloke could ask for but it's damn good scotch." Erik poured two glasses and handed one to Christian. They clinked glasses and took a drink.

"In all my wildest imagination, I could have never conceived spending my last stag night with Erik Pilsen Chamberlain, just him, and a glass of ridiculously priced scotch."

Erik laughed.

"Well, we don't have matching costumes but our suits are similar. We could sing or chant a bit if you'd like."

"No, Erik. Not necessary. But I appreciate the thought."

They smiled and drank a bit more.

"I'm glad for it. I'm glad and I think, I think everything happens for a reason." He looked over at Erik. "I do. I mean, did you think you'd be sitting here with me on my stag night?"

Erik put his head down and smiled.

"The day you were born? Yes. Maybe. But 5 years ago, not a chance in hell. I'm grateful for it beyond any cheap and silly words I could use to describe it."

"Tell me, Erik." Christian stood up and walked to his desk and leaned against it. "If you knew more about the past, would it change anything? If you knew things that you couldn't change but changed you, would it make a difference any? You can't change the past but is it better to know or not know?"

Erik put his glass down. He looked at Christian, trying to decode the random and odd question he had set forth.

"What are you speaking of, exactly?" He wasn't stupid. This was not a hypothetical nor generalized scenario Christian was leaning into.

"It's just a question. If you found out something from the past, something that greatly affected your life but you had no way of changing it because it's in the past, would you want to know?"

Erik thought before he answered. He thought about Pearl and what she found out about her family. Her identity. Her age. Did it make a difference knowing? And him. Finding out about his real father and his royal lie. Did it make a difference? He decided yes. Yes it did.

"I would say yes. It's always best to know. Transparency is and always will be better than a lie. Or feeling and looking like a fool. Or living a lie. So yes. Yes I would want to know."

Christian nodded. "There's so much deceit in this family. So many lies. It's hard to decipher what's real and what's not. I wonder how many other royals and elitists live by this sword? Kill or be killed. I mean, how much can my mother bear? It's insane!" Erik knew Pearl hadn't told him about her past yet. Or the baby. What could he be speaking of?

"Is this about Pearl?" Erik needed answers.

Christian, realizing he had given away too much, changed the subject.

"Are you feeling down because of the wedding? Is it because it reminds you of your own marriage?"

Erik put his head down.

"We are in the press. Your mother has to release a statement soon. It's all on her again. Because of me. I feel guilty and if I could just leave her alone, I would. But I cannot. I want her, I want to marry her. It's such a terribly heavy weight to bear in my heart. I love her so much. I always have. I never stopped. Even when I was…sick, mentally. I still loved her. But I know I'm not good for her. I never was." Erik wiped his eyes.

"But enough of that. I didn't want to dump that on you tonight. Tonight is about celebrating something beautiful. Something promising hope again to us all. You're doing it right, kid. And I'm proud of you." Erik slammed his glass and poured another.

"I'm drunk off one. I'm such a lightweight these days." Erik laughed as he barely took a sip.

They talked more about the wedding. And love. And hope. And on and on into the late night. Both of them forgetting the heavy things they were carrying inside, if only for those short hours.