CHAPTER 319: I Still Cherish You

"With such burdens in our hearts. With such damage done in our being. With the way we grew up with nothing but the mission of being strong and fulfilling the pact. Do you all really think you could have handled it then as well? The truth?"

They pursed their lips and lowered their heads.

No, they won't be able to believe it. They couldn't handle it.

"I was always at the wrong place at the wrong time. Learning truths I never wanted to. Do you know how much I wished I was with you all then? That what you all saw was what I saw as well? That I had also believed the same things you do?"

At this point, she was not crying. It is no time for such.

She just want to finally lay everything out in front of them.

"Because maybe I could have lived in ignorance as well. I wouldn't have felt hatred towards her."

These words shocked them the most.

Saphira smirked, "Yes, I hated her. I hated the fact that she chose such choices, that I had to be the one to clean up everything. I had to be the one to work everything out. Hated the fact that she left me with no other choice at all. As if my life was nothing but choices made by the people around me."

She couldn't help but sigh, "I hated the adults who trained us so early when we could have played more. I hated our ancestors who made that pact and dumped everything on us. I hated those people who judged us not knowing what we were all going through."

She glanced at Felix, "Yes Felix, I was silent then. I did verbally bully you lightly but in reality I hated you. How can you judge us not knowing everything? What gave you that right?"

Felix looked away guiltily and Saphira returned her eyes to the rest.

"And most of all, I hated you all for being ignorant and hating me for reasons I deemed I am unworthy of."

Her hands were trembling as she realized something.

'So this is it, this was the real reason why I selfishly didn't want to speak. Why I selfishly chose to wait and wait until everything was out in the open before I open my mouth. it is because all my bottled up feelings will come flowing out.'

She smirked, even chuckled as she looked at the dreadfulness in their looks.

"Yes, when we all met again after eight years I was so happy but that happiness slowly turned to wonder. Did I really deserve this treatment? And soon I thought no, I don't deserve it. What right did they have? Why must they hate me when they don't know a single thing?"

They all looked hurt making her laugh in bitterness.

"Yes, that's just how it is. Shocking isn't it? That the holder of the light ability has such hatred in her. Not even the guardian was aware."

Lily sighed inside her, she really was unaware. She couldn't even see such darkness inside her host.

"Have you ever thought of it that way? When you kept apologizing to me for all your words and actions, have you ever really thought that you were wrong and I didn't deserve it? Or you just felt like you were wrong and an apology is a must? Because I don't think so, you all just felt that you were wrong with your words. But in the end, I was still her sister, I still have fault for not being there on time."

Another sigh escaped her lips.

While the others are feeling more and more dreadful over the facts she was laying in front of them.

"You must also be angry at me in this moment after knowing the truth. But... I won't apologize for keeping quiet because I did it for myself. I was hurt and scarred and bringing it up will only open all wounds, and make all scars bleed. And I don't want that. I want to stop being hurt for other people. So I kept quiet..."

Then she laughed bitterly, "Yet in the end, the guilt had been eating me up very slowly. Because in the end, all of you are important to me."

They all looked back at her.

She laughed when her eyes turned teary.

"After I realized that Ardel was using memories to break us more. I though 'ah, he will surely show that time. Because he was aware of it, aware that the rest believes a lie.' To be honest..."

A tear dropped, "I really never wanted you all to know. From the get go, I actually didn't want you to know. It is fine this way because everyone already believes it. It is better this way because the families are doing fine already. Our family suffered but were doing good. It is fine that way. Yet after realizing it, I was once again conflicted. The truth will come out, everyone will still know."

She hit her chest lightly, "But I can't... I can't bring out all the words that will hurt you all. Because that's how important you all are to me. That even though I felt I hated you, I still cherish you."

She covered her face with her hands as she cried.

Silence befell them.

Only their sobs could be heard.

Saphira wiped her tears again, "Go on and ask me what you want to know more. I will try my best to answer."

"My brother..."

Drake choked, the anger he felt towards Saphira dissipated the moment she spoke of her feelings. He was unworthy to be angry with her, that is the fact.

He has no right at all.

"Was he always like that? Had he been harboring such evil intentions?"

Saphira shook her head, "No, he was the kindest and most gentle among them. He was honestly wishing for you to become stronger. Honestly wishing that all of us will not fight at all. That we could have a peaceful life instead."