Chapter-25 Forgiveness

Ayaan's POV

Zuby was sitting with her head leaning at the headrest of my lucky bed. I wish it was my shoulder she was leaning on for support, I smile at my thought. I hope she won't cramp her neck because of her odd sleeping position, but I don't want to disturb her. I sit at the other side of the bed and decide to wait for her to wake up. After almost ten minutes I thought of lying down myself, and don't know when I fell asleep too. I woke up at a knock on my door, I noticed Zuby was still asleep so without disturbing her I quickly got up and opened the door. Adila Appi was at the door with two plates of food...

"It's already almost 9 so I thought you people would have talked by now." Adila Appi said gesturing me to take the plates; I took the plates from her and replied...

"We didn't talk till now...when I came in the room Zuby was sleeping so I didn't disturb her." Adila Appi hummed and then said...

"You better wake her up now, she has not eaten her dinner till now and Sagarika had told me that she didn't even have lunch and also remove her sehra, I hope you remember it's a family tradition." I shook my head yes and moved back inside closing the door behind. I placed both plates on my dressing table and then turned to wake up Zuby.

I have been standing in front of Zuby for the past five minutes and still can't gather enough courage to wake her up. Because waking her means answering her, apologizing to her, assuring her, explaining her and what not. Then I realize it has to be done anyhow, and the sooner the better. I lightly shake her by the shoulder and call her name. Zuby moved I knew she woke up as she sat properly, trying to adjust her clothes. I sat in front of her and spoke politely...

"Umm...Zuby...it's me...Ayaan..." I cleared my throat and continued...

"Adila Appi told me I should help you in taking off this sehra...I am sure it's not very comfortable...umm...can I open it for you??" She did not answer me but I could see her fidgeting with her fingers...Think fast think fast...say something to make her comfortable you idiot...

"It's ok...I mean you don't have to worry...I will call Adila Appi and ask her to open it for you...it's just a silly family tradition so you don't worry I will just call her..." I got up to pick my mobile from the bedside table but heard her whisper before I could grab my mobile...

"I am fine with you helping" I smiled like a fool on hearing her say that. I know it's a silly tradition but somewhere deep down in my heart I wanted to do it, but only if Zuby was comfortable. I stood near her and she bowed her head a little. Those were some crazy knots on the sehra and I tried my best to open those knots quickly. Finally the knots were undone and I took off the sehra. I kept it on the bed beside Zuby and couldn't take my eyes off my beautiful wife. She looked even more gorgeous as a bride. She had lowered her gaze and I can't see her big, beautiful eyes. I wanted to hold her chin and lift her face to look in her eyes and kiss her, but I know it's not a good idea right now. Instead I got up and took out her gift from my wardrobe. Yesterday after buying my sherwani I went with Adila Appi to buy Zuby's 'mu dikhai' gift (gift given to wife on seeing her face for the first time after marriage) I bought her eight gold bangles, four for each hand. They were simple yet elegant; I hope she will like my choice.

I sat in front of her once again and gave her the box, she took it with shaky hands and I said...

"I bought these for you as a mu dikhai gift...I...I hope you will like them." She didn't utter a word so I asked her...

"Umm...please open and tell me if you like them..." she obliged to my request and opened the box and I heard a meek 'thank you'. I wanted to put those bangles on her hands myself. After all this is my first gift for my love so I asked for her permission...

"Zuby... can I help you wear them?" She didn't say anything but moved the box forward as if asking me to help myself... I picked the cue and took the bangles from the box. She removed the bangles she was already wearing while I counted four of the bangles and took her right hand in mine. I never want to leave her hand but I try not to scare my dear wife and quickly slip on the bangles on her petite wrist. Then I took the other four bangles and put them on her left hand.

Zuby raises her eyes and looks at me for the first time today and I feel a pang of pain on seeing tears in her eyes. Before I could say anything she asked me...

"Why did you marry me Ayaan?"

Zuby's POV

I am not able to take anymore, I don't know for how long I was asleep but since Ayaan woke me I have noticed that he is being extremely polite or should I say cautious while talking to me. He sounds so genuine, and I can't deny the fact that as many times I have met this man never did I feel uncomfortable with him. There has always been a feeling of safety with him; even today I don't actually mind being his wife. But I want answers; I want to know why has he done all this? I want to know why he hurt his parents for me. I want to know if his relation with his brother can still be mend or not? I want to know....arghhh...there are so many things on my mind and with him being so nice to me I don't know how to react. I feel so vulnerable right now but I ask him why he married me? I could not stop the tears from filling up in my eyes.

Ayaan looked concerned as well as hurt, I am not sure if it's my question that makes him feel that way or my tears...

"Will you believe me if I say I always wanted to marry you?" I look at him with narrowed eyes and shake my head saying...

"This is no reason, we hardly know each other....it's not even been two months since I first met you" he gave me a look as if I was saying something wrong...

"I am saying the truth Zuby...but I am sorry for the way our marriage took place" I still don't understand what to say, I just can't process whatever he is saying...it just doesn't make sense. Before I could say anything else he continued...

"There is something I need to apologize for...Zuby I don't want to start our lifetime journey with this guilt in me. I don't know if you will forgive me for this or not but trust me I didn't mean any harm to you. But please hear me out..." I cut his speach...

"Stop beating around the bush and come to the point...what are you talking about?" He was nervous, even scared...but for what? I wonder what is this deed he wants to apologize for... as if he heard my thoughts and said...

"I was the one to threaten Sahil" my eyes were wide as saucers and I was shocked but anyway he completed whatever he wanted to say...

"You remember Sagarika wanted to talk to you about something important on the day of your Alumni Meet?" How does he know about it? I nod yes...

"Actually she was going to tell you about Sahil...me and Sagar were doing a little bit of background check of the guy. Sagar was looking out for you...he wanted to be sure if Sahil is a good guy or not. We went to his diner and saw him flirting with a girl. Actually it was not flirting; they seemed to be in a relationship. Sagar went another day without me and found the same girl with Sahil and both of them seemed very close. Sagarika was going to tell you about Sahil and wanted to convince you to back out from that proposal. But before Sagarika could talk to you I went to meet Sahil and confronted him. I threatened him that I will show his pictures with the same girl to his parents. I thought he will understand and back off from this proposal and this way you will not have to talk to your uncle about anything. But I was so wrong..." I heard enough of him and now I had to interrupt...

"Yes, you were absolutely wrong...do you know what I had to go through? Do you have any idea how painful it was? Can you even realize the extent of my humiliation when my dress tore in front of my cousin?" I started crying by now, these were angry tears. I was again angry at myself because I couldn't fight back. Ayaan has his head bowed till now with his fists tight. He seemed ashamed and angry at the same time; I couldn't stop the sob that erupted from my throat. Ayaan looked up at that and tried to reach for my hand. I stopped him...

"They called me names, said I was a character less girl...and just look what I got as a welcome gift in my husband's house...accusations...I was welcomed by the sound of arguments...arguments which took place because I am married to the wrong brother?" My voice turned to a whisper near the end and I covered my face and cried even more. Ayaan got up and started pacing in the room. I could feel him coming near me then going away.

I still don't understand one thing, after so much happened somewhere still in my mind I can hear...whatever happens is for the best...Allah is the best of planners...I did leave everything on him...I guess this is the answer to all my queries. I take a deep breath, wipe my tears and then notice Ayaan sitting on his knees right beside me and looking at me with sorrowful eyes...

"Zuby believe me when I say that you are not the reason behind any of the arguments you heard today. It's just me who is to be blamed, mom and dad are upset I won't deny that but I know they will love you. In fact mom already admires you so much....I know I can't undo my stupid actions but I am really sorry for all the pain you had to go through because of my blunder..." I don't pay attention to whatever he is saying next but this man in front of me is my husband who seems genuinely concerned for me and sorry for his mistake. I know that Allah Almighty loves the act of forgiveness and so I decide to forgive him. I cannot ignore the fact that if he wanted he would not have confessed everything at first place. I can't just ignore his honesty....

"It's Ok Ayaan...I forgive you" his reaction to my words was so hilarious that a chuckle escaped my lips. Ayaan's eyes could not get more wide...his mouth could not open up more...he blinked his eyes once...twice...thrice...then shook his head as if not understanding what just happened...

"Are you seriously forgiving me so easily??" I gave him a sad smile and said...

"What's done is done...we can't change it...I am an optimistic person...I can't deny that your honesty won you my forgiveness" Ayaan smiled...and before I could react he took me in his embrace. I was stunned...didn't know what to do next...this is the first time a guy is hugging me...and this guy is no one else but my husband...I was too nervous to return his hug and within seconds Ayaan realized what he is doing and awkwardly pulled away. He looked here and there scratching his nose, then his gaze stopped at something and he turned to look at me with his eyes narrowed...

"Why didn't you have lunch?" I am sure Sagu told him... otherwise how he would know... I just shrugged in reply...he turned to the dresser and picked up two dinner plates. I wanted to change into something comfortable first so I asked him for my suitcase.

Ayaan kept my suitcase on the bed so that I can take my clothes and he went out of the room saying...

"You can take a shower if you want and change your dress...I...I will come back after 10-15 minutes" I just nodded my head; I noticed he is stammering today. Suddenly I realized I can't take off my dupatta (stole) without help so I gave a call to Adila...I guess even I should start calling her Adila Appi as Ayaan. She came to help me within two minutes and then I took a bath and changed. I was very hungry by now but decided to wait for Ayaan. Just as I was thinking about him there was a knock on the door and I asked the person outside to come in. It was Ayaan, he smiled and I also returned his smile. I was wearing a long baby pink t shirt with black pajama pants. And I had wrapped my pink headscarf, I noticed Ayaan's eyes on my headscarf and then I realized I don't have to cover my hair when only my husband is present. Ayaan picked up the plates while I pulled my headscarf down. My hairs were tied in a loose bun. Ayaan settled on the bed with me, we sat across each other and had our food in silence. I was thankful to Adila Appi that she got our food heated as it was here since a long time.

After dinner Ayaan took the plates out while I got ready to offer my prayers. I was late today as it was already 11 at night, as Ayaan came back I asked him for the direction of prayer and then placed my prayer mat and offered my prayer. Once I was done I got up and saw Ayaan awkwardly staring at his bed. Once he noticed me he cleared his throat and said...

"Umm...do you want me to call Adila Appi to come and stay with you for the night?" I felt so relieved at that moment that I couldn't help but smile. Ayaan was really very considerate, I know he is my husband but the circumstances of our wedding were different so I still need some time to wrap the whole thing around my head. Ayaan gave a call to Adila Appi and she was in our room within ten minutes. I asked Ayaan where will he sleep and he told me he will crash with his brother.

Adila Appi asked me how I was feeling and we talked a little more about today's events before going to sleep. If I tell anyone right now that even after all that happened during the last two-three days I am having a sense of relief no one will believe me, the funny part is it's difficult for me to believe at first place. With a smile on my face I don't know when I fell in a deep slumber.