Chapter 11

I made it back to my shop without any word from anyone including Shayne who is probably still mad as hell at me for running away from Ashlyn but I couldn't risk myself falling for Ashlyn let alone get too close. My heart can't handle another break from someone let alone having a friendship that can drop like a hat. I have a guard on me at all times because I don't let people in at all. I have decided to make the announcement that the shop is open and I need all workers to be in. Within the next hour all workers appeared and the coffee shop became extremely busy.

Once we had a slow down around noon that is when Shayne pulled me to the side.

"Where is Ashlyn? Why is the shop open? What happened?" Shayne asked with concern in her voice.

"I walked away. I don't think she will be coming here anymore. I don't deserve her and she doesn't deserve me." I replied wanting to not have this conversation.

"Juliet, you promised me that you would date her and give her a chance. Why can't you let her in? What has happened to you?" Shayne responded gently.

"Can we talk about this in my office?" I replied feeling myself wanting to panic with other ears around.

"Sure. Ariel, make sure everyone gets their coffee and snacks, I will be back." Shayne said out loud to Ariel who just shook her head.

We walked to my office, closing the door quietly as I felt myself wanting to not tell my best friend what has happened, why am I this way, and anything else that has been bothering me since my last girlfriend who literally tore me apart.

"Explain, Juliet? You haven't had a faithful girlfriend since Victoria and that was almost a year ago. I have no idea what happened to that relationship but I can take a wild guess. Talk to me Juliet, are you still hung over Victoria?" Shayne responded with a raised eyebrow waiting for a reply.

I knew I didn't have to explain anything to Shayne or anyone else about what has happened since my last girlfriend Rachel who I gave everything to, Shayne didn't know about Rachel at all and I kept it that way. Rachel meant everything to me and she was gorgeous as ever with her bright red hair, dark green eyes, freckled skin, and she was my heart. Though her beauty hid the manipulative, controlling, and abusive side of her that I didn't expect.

"It isn't Victoria. Victoria never did anything bad to make me break up with her, I did willingly." I explained feeling myself wanting to break, so I sat in my office chair preparing for Shayne to give me another lecture.

"Who did, Juliet? Who? Who are you hiding?" Shayne pleaded with almost tears in her eyes.

"I can't tell you that. All I can say is that she is gone from my life but I can't move on from it either because of how I felt and needed her." I replied holding back any emotions that I couldn't let out.

"If you can't tell me who it is then explain to me why are you pushing Ashlyn away? She can help you get over this woman and move on with your life. You need to move on! Moping in heartache from the past will only make matters worse and that isn't fair to Ashlyn or you. Please don't give up on love." Shayne pleaded once more trying to get answers out of me.

"I will tell you that my last girlfriend was controlling, manipulative, and abusive to me. I don't want to live in that fear of getting hurt by another woman. I don't want to live my life in fear of the worst. I almost died at the hands of Rachel because she wouldn't stop hitting me every time I screwed up or wasn't home at a decent hour. I turned down the engagement to her for these reasons. I hate Rachel!" I finally broke, I told Shayne, and I am sure Ariel even heard it all from the front.

All that pent up stress and overbearing of myself released itself and all the weight disappeared. I have no idea why but I smiled and went over to Shayne hugging her tightly. Feeling safe in my office with my best friend who didn't push me away. I have finally released the closure of expressing my hate for Rachel and what she did to me. Shayne moved back from the hug then opened her phone and went outside of the office to talk to someone. Then came back in with a smile that would be the question who she contacted.

"Ashlyn is on her way. You need to build this relationship correctly. I am always here and Ariel is too but no more of being afraid of the worst. We are all here for you. Let Ashlyn love you even if it is a slow process. Do not block her out. You can take this slow as you like as always it is your choice but Ashlyn would never be like Rachel and she is the sweetest." Shayne said as she went to leave and gave me a stern look with one last sentence. "She really likes you and I hope you will let her in."

With that I walked out to the coffee shop to find the shop shut down and no one but my staff waiting for me to say something, I knew I had caused a lot of mess because of my emotions and let everything get out of hand. I need to be a better person.

"I am so sorry everyone for the way I have been. I will be back in control of everything and make better decisions involving this shop and my personal life." I said as I felt myself wanting to clam up.

All the staff hugged me tightly and gave their support in making sure I am not alone. At that moment Ashlyn walked in with a beautiful smile and then it faltered when she looked right at me. I could have been with her this whole time instead of being a fool that couldn't accept who is right in front of her. I had to do this right and I will for her.