Not Just Amnesia

Friday. Brother will be very hungry by now, Maria thought as she hurried to finish the cupcakes she was making. She and Frederick ran a cafe down the street, well; it was a cyber cafe that also offered services like a coffee shop. She seldom went there these days since her brother had offered to take over and give her some time to rest. He was worried she would over exert herself and faint again, as she usually did. Another thing that bothered him was the memory relapses which were getting worse by the day. She had in mind to visit her doctor today, she just had to deliver these first.

She placed the cupcakes in the oven and waited to take them out. Yesterday she had lost consciousness while watching TV. It wasn't anything particular; she was watching a tragic romance where the male lead was killed by his arch enemy because of the woman he loved. It was at this scene that she had a sudden headache. It was like fragments of light were exploding in her head and next thing she knew was that Fred was shaking her awake.

She felt dejected to be living like this, constantly losing her memory, having blackouts, and sometimes body spasms. She wanted to get better and not be a burden. She would sometimes write down some things so as not to forget about it, it was frustrating.

Soon, the cakes were done. She took them out and placed them in a small basket. She picked her purse and wore her sun glasses. Today was exceptionally sunny, a good day to go sun bathing. She closed the door and locked the main entrance. The house was a little big, she could vaguely recall that their family were a little rich or something like that. She didn't know more and Fred didn't want to tell her and she also didn't probe too much.

Walking down the street with her basket in hand, she didn't talk to anyone. For someone who had memory issues, she had often mistaken people's names and it always left her embarrassed. To avoid this she decided to be a little anti-social.

She arrived at the Friendly Cafe minutes later. There were a few people inside; some were having afternoon coffee, others were using the computers while others just sat there to chat. The Friendly Cafe didn't make it compulsory for people to buy anything if they came in, this made it perfect for people to wait here for their appointments and while waiting they would inevitably drink a coffee! She walked in and went over to her brother in his small office. She said hi to the few workers; she didn't worry about mistaking their names since they had name tags on.

"Hey, look who we have here, haven't seen you in a while." It was Ben, his brother's friend, who welcomed her first. He happened to be with Fred in his office.

"Hi, Ben," she hugged him and gave her brother a side glance.

"Why are you here?" Fred asked a little annoyed. Didn't she want to rest and get better?

"I made some cupcakes, figured you'd be tired." She smiled brightly. Ben observed her well cut out face. She was a natural beauty, though her face was a little pale. They usually hung out together, and that was the reason she would mostly remember him.

"Cakes! I want some!" Ben hovered his hands over the basket and wafted imaginary aroma into his nose, "they smell so good," he was already drooling.

"I'm pretty sure they're for me!" Fred slapped his hand away.

"Ouch!"

He looked at his sister who had already unpacked the cakes.

"Still, you shouldn't have come. You need to rest." He said slowly.

"I know brother, just wanted to stroll around a bit. Besides, I have an appointment with Dr. Adama." She retorted.

Ben was already eating a cupcake by now.

"Here, have some more. I made a lot today." Maria encouraged and Ben, whose mouth was stuffed, gave thumbs up.

"Dr Adama? Do you need to see her?"

"Of course, silly, I've been having blackouts and memory relapses and it's getting severe, I need some therapy or something." She said in a tone that pointed out that it wasn't her fault.

"Maybe you could just take some medicine?" Fred offered. He was afraid. Afraid of what would happen if she remembered everything. She didn't deserve such torture, she would break. He also didn't want her to know what he did, it's been so long and she had forgotten about it.

"Fine. But don't push yourself okay? It's fine even if you use a board to write names and faces of people, I'd still love you." His face showed concern and worry.

"Not funny!" Maria expressed her displeasure in what he just said. How could he want that for her?

"I know. I just don't want to see you get frustrated if you can't remember," he stroked her cheek.

"I know." She always knew there might be a possibility of her not remembering anything, but she also didn't want her case to worsen.

"I see the cafe is doing better." She commented after a while.

"Yeah, I'm thinking of branching."

"Wow. I have missed a lot here, can I get to resume again," she pouted and put up her sorry face.

Ben choked on his saliva when he saw that adorable face.

"Not yet."

After staying for thirty minutes she finally decided to head to the clinic. Fred kissed her cheek and bade her farewell.

"When will I see you again, Maria?" Ben asked, he would love some alone time with her.

"Soon, I guess!" She shrugged and took her leave.

"Seriously, Fred, don't give me that look, I only want to talk with her!" Ben defended himself when he noticed Fred's deadly stare. He never wanted him together with Maria.

"Don't even consider asking her to tea!" Fred warned sternly.

"Okay, okay. But I hope you know I really like her! Wonder if you'll date her, or maybe you're even dating considering how cosy you two act!" Ben fired back. The whole office turned icy cold...

....

When she arrived at the clinic, Dr Adama met her immediately. She told the doctor about her recent memory issues, "...it feels like I have two memory fragments in my head, each struggling to collide with the other but then there's this extreme pain in my head that splits them up. I only feel relieved when I separate the fragments." She explained her experience and asked the doctor what she could do.

"You have a case called retrograde amnesia. It means you won't necessarily remember some key information from your past, or all. But in your case, you still access part of those locked memories.

It's like you're two personalities, fighting to join forces." Dr Adama paused and observed Maria. She had gone through this with her several times before, "sometimes, these locked memories accumulate to form those bulbs of light. It can be painful forcing yourself to remember. It appears your mind has formed a subconscious defence against those memories; maybe something nasty happened back then."

Nasty? She strained her head but nothing surfaced, it was blank.

"Then what about the spasms, the frequent loss of short term memory? Like, I can forget the names of people I met yesterday!" She was worried.

"Various reasons. But that shouldn't bother you too much. Just avoid alcohol and mental fatigue. I'll give you some prescription to handle the pains."

What the doctor didn't add was that she feared the worst outcome. She realised that her case wasn't just amnesia....