14

I sat there looking at Rose then to Garrett- I laid my head down on her lap, they, in a way, were ignoring me; Rose played with my hair, but It felt so hesitant. It all felt off and odd, so I sat up and pushed myself between them like a demanding child and stared at them. I whined slightly but kept staring at them, trying to make them speak. And then, "ugh, princess could you please just go lay in bed or somewhere else? Anywhere but here." Garrett groaned. It felt like daggers hit me in the heart, but I nodded at him and slipped away. I dragged my wounded heart up the stairs and under the crib, I could hear talking from downstairs but I didn't want to listen. I just couldn't believe any of this was real, the state of my diaper, the state of my home, state of my relationship; I shook my head trying to force the thoughts away. The door made a creak as someone had pushed it open, I peaked out slightly, it was Rose. I rolled my eyes and hid back under the bed, I didn't want to hear what she had to say. But she spoke anyways, crouched beside the bed, "Hey hun- look I'm sorry for how things are going lately, I know you might not understand or maybe you do, but Garrett just needs some time for some things-" she paused as if she didn't want to say, so I came out from hiding and looked at her. "He's gonna go on a trip for awhile and he wants me to stay here, to take care of you." She looked away from me and then looked back with a sigh. I forced a small smile onto my face and looked up, forcing back tears. "That's okay, no one's gotta take care of me Rose. I take care of myself good enough. So you can go home and Garrett can go on his trip. And I can stay at home and be fine." She shook her head, "No Hun, you don't understand, I can't go home and you can't be alone." There was a soft close of the front door- it rang throughout the whole house. Rose got up and offered to pick me up, I shook my head and let my smile fade and sink to the floor. "Luv, just come on, you can't stay in here like this." "No. I can stay in here like this as long as I want!" I snapped. I looked up, half shocked by myself, I turned away from her- I was ashamed and scared, I just wanted to feel better. I just wanted answers for my questions that I was all too scared to ask. Rose lifted me off the floor and carried me off to the big bedroom, I layed against her helplessly. She pushed past the door and layed me onto the bed and changed me before pulling the blankets over me, she climbed into bed beside me, I curled up to her side, playing with the edges of her shirt. We layed there for what felt like hours until she pulled the blankets back and pulled me from the bed, I gave a small whine of protest but clung to her willingly. I mumbled, "When's he gonna come home?" "I don't know luv. He didn't say." "Okay." I said it breathlessly. She rubbed my back and carried me down the stairs to the kitchen before setting me on the couch. "We are gonna eat here tonight. Like a sleep over in a way." "Oh okay. But um what are we having? " "I was thinking we'd order pizza, Garret told me some of the things you like to eat before he left." I sunk away at her words, "yeah pizza sounds good Rose." just his name alone sent an aching through my heart. I layed on the couch, I wanted a change of clothes and honestly a bath, but I didn't know how to ask, so instead when she went to the other room to order the pizza, I stripped out of my clothes and soiled diaper before laying back on the couch feeling gross with myself. Rose finally came back from the dining room and gasped before erupting into laughter, "If you needed help all you had to do was ask. Come on, I'll go run you a bath. The pizza won't be here for a while or so anyways." She held my hand and took me to the bathroom. I sat on the potty as she filled the tub, "Sit here and watch the water please. I'm going to go pick you some clothes." She smiled so warmly, I just wanted to melt away into her arms and just feel safe. I started to slip, "Otay wose." And off she went leaving the bathroom door open, I watched the water intently as if it was my sole purpose. She came back just as the water got to a good level, holding out a set of pj's and a pull up to show me what she picked. I nodded and smiled at her, she did good, I liked those pj's. She layed them on the counter and helped me into the tub, she washed me off handing me toys every once in awhile to distract me when she needed to dump water on me. After she was all done I pulled the stopper out and put it on the side of the tub, standing in wait of Rose to wrap me up in a towel. She tossed the towel on top of my head and I giggling at her before wrapping up in the towel, drying myself. She helped me out of the tub and got me dresses before heading my back out to the living room, ploping onto the couch. I followed after her and climbed up on her lap, cuddled up to her. She hummed and rubbed my back untill the pizza got there. When the pizza arrived, she answered the door and thanked the delivery person before closing the door and putting the pizza boxes on the living room table. She handed me some pizza and turned on some cartoons as she cuddled up with me on the couch. We slept on the couch that night, together, cuddled up, happy and warm. And for a moment, I wasn't sad.