CHAPTER 8

I hadn't slept a wink that night, my body was sore, hands were begging for some pain relief cream or something but I was wide awake, sitting on the window sill staring into the night sky. The reason for my unrest was something unexpected and wasn't related to what had happened in that neighborhood fight at all.

No, Baek was the reason for my unrest that night.

All the way back to my AIRBnb I kept gushing about how I felt so good and I hadn't felt this happy in so long, how I felt so free and so in control for the first time. I didn't realise just how much of my life I was putting up on display until it was too late to take back my words.

I told him about how controlling my parents were and how I was expected to behave in a certain way and how there was a possibility I may have to start seeing potential grooms when I went back home. The sad emotions while relaying all this was just flowing out of me into the cabs atmosphere.

"And can you imagine my future husbands face if I go like 'yeah I beat two guys up in Korea and if you misbehave you'll be next' Oh my! Just the thought is enough to keep me going with this ridiculous proposal I swear." I was laughing so hard by that time there were tears in my eyes.

"Thank you, thank you , thank you so much Baek. For this, for today, for everything . You've made this trip the best time of my life, you're the one person I will never forget in my life, you don't even know the kind of happiness you have brought to me but I will forever be grateful." I told him.

My appreciation and thanks and gushing and laughing and smiling like an idiot continued all the way up to the point where we parked right in front of my AIRBnB and before I could deliver one last thanks and get out of the cab, Baek's hand on mine stopped me,

"You are happy right? Today was good for you right ?" He asked me.

I didn't know where these questions were coming from, had I not just spent god knows how long in the backseat of the cab telling him just how happy I was? But I gave him an answer nonetheless.

"Yes Baek I'm happy and it was good for me, but where is this coming from?" I asked.

He looked apprehensive and after a few minutes of silence he finally spoke, "Look Rads I don't know how to say, maybe you won't like me for this, but please just once listen, I think maybe, I just thought that maybe, I just want to ask that....."

"Just get out with it Baek! I won't suddenly go all Godzilla on you no matter what you have to say!" I said, cutting off his rambling .

"Rads I want to offer you to stay back, stay here, don't go ever, be free here, you can work here and maybe if you want study or do anything . I want to offer to train you for streets, I will take care for you, my girlfriend too. Stay here Rads, you don't have to go home, don't have to force marry someone, don't have to do what you don't want to, ever. Stay."

He looked at me with such sincerity awaiting my response but I didn't have one. I couldn't just make a life altering decision spur of the moment right? I mean I had already made way too many rash decisions in a single day and I needed time to process his offer, to process just about everything that had happened to me on this trip.

"Give me time to think Baek, I can't give you an answer right away, I'm sorry." I said and left him. I didn't look back even once, fearing that I might just run back and tell him yes.

HOPE.

Its such a powerful word right? Its what drives us forward in life. A hope to live better, a hope that we will get what we've wanted, I hope to live a happy life, a hope to get the right partner in life, a hope that we will get that job or that promotion or our choice of university will accept us. We humans survive on hope and for the first time in my life I had hope. Hope to live better and a hope to die happy whenever that may occur. I had hope that I wouldn't have to compromise anymore. I wouldn't have to be chained by societal laws anymore.

Baek had given me hope and I just needed to gather the courage to accept it.