Chapter 9: Ship

I am just standing here, watching a guy cry over a closed coffin. The attempt to hide his sobs was a fail, the reason why people are looking at him.

"Wake up...Please, just this one time...hear me out. Wake up..."

I froze by just hearing his voice. It's Carlo. But who the heck is inside that coffin? Who has the guts to make my brother cry?!

I was about to move forward to get to him but my attention quickly went to the door when it was harshly opened.

Carlo also looked, but his eyes changed when he saw who the person behind the doors was.

The guest was none other than Joshua, who kissed the ground after receiving a very forceful punch from Carlo.

"DAMN YOU! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SHOW YOUR FAVE HERE!"

I moved back after Carlo's words roared across the room. My eyes wide in shock looked at him like I was looking at a stranger.

That was what I was looking at, a total stranger.I've never seen him like this before. Eyes filled with rage and hatred but deep inside, I saw disappointment.

This isn't him. This isn't my kuya.

The Carlo I knew was always happy, even if we sometimes have a bit of disagreements, I haven't seen this side of him.

Something must have happened so badly that everything about him changed.

His fist was clenched, almost seemed like he was getting ready for another blow. He was about to go reach for Joshua when Denz hugged him to stop him from hurting Joshua.

Denz, his manager, whispered something in his ear but whatever it was, it didn't work. He even kicked Joshua on the stomach! The poor guy couldn't even move because of the pain.

Me and my brother spend 3 years studying mixed martial arts and anything more related to it so I wouldn't be surprised if Joshua coughed blood. Not that I want it.

Carlo's bodyguards was already having a hard time trying to calm him down, and they don't know which side to go into.

Neither did I.

I wanted myself to move and go to anyone of them but instead, I just looked.

I turned my head to see another man walking towards the coffin. His face was a bit blurry, the reason why I was a bit confused.

He slowly opened the coffin window to look at the person inside. Gently, he held the glass and moved his fingers in a way that it looked like he was touching the face of whoever was inside.

Who is inside?

The corner of his eyes formed tears. It started falling one by one until he covered his face with his hand and cried loud.

Something in me kicked in, like a volt of electricity suddenly flowed through my body and one thing I knew I was already walking.

I took four steps but I couldn't walk any further when I daw the person inside the coffin.

Me..

I grasp for air while my body got up from my bed in total shock. Heart beating fast and mind blank of thoughts.

My hand found it's way towards my head when all of a sudden it hurt. With eyes closed, I forced myself to calm down and reach for my medicine cabinet.

There were a lot of pain relievers, different types for different 'volts', if I call them. I focused and with my hands shaking, it was a bit of a challenge to get what I needed.

I was still in panic when I forced myself to take the pill without water to help it go down.

"It was just a dream." I said to my self. "You are alright."

It's a warning. I know. But who is the third guy?

I glanced at my clock and saw that it was already 12pm, I slept for almost 10 hours. I calmed myself down before I grabbed my phone to call Carlo.

"Yea?"

"Kuya.." I tried my best to hide my sobs, but he seems to know what the problem is because he stayed silent for a moment, hearing my quiet sobs.

"I will go get my stuff. I'll be there in 5."

The call went off after that. And just like what he said, after 5 minutes, he came.

Instead of hugging me like what he always does when he knows I cried, now he just looked at me before he sighed and pat my head.

"Stop that. Wipe your tears. Fix your clothes. You look like Fiona from Shrek."

I smiled after he said that. This is the Carlo that I know. Not that violent and aggressive one in my dream.

"So that was the plan? I left my meeting just to stare at you wipe your tears?"

I just shrugged. I honestly don't even know the reason why I called him.

"I don't have anyone to accompany me."

"So you want to cry with someone? Group work? Sorry but I have loads to do and crying is not on my list-HEY!"

I cut him off by throwing one of my pillows on him. Gosh! So loud!

I smiled after. He did too, when he noticed me smiling.

"Dude you gotta wipe your nose, your snot's already running down."

I hit him again with another pillow after he said that which only made him laugh. I rolled my eyes and let him finish his long laugh. When he went silent, I thought he was going to say another annoying thing but I looked at him and saw that his expression changed.

"You are being a crybaby lately, Aiyah Klaire. I'm pretty sure that's not the Aiyah I used to know. The Aiyah I knew was strong, brave. She doesn't let small things change her and for sure doesn't let anyone control her. She doesn't come running towards me just because she was crying. Tell me, where did my strong baby sister went?"

My eyes widened. he noticed. I didn't think he would notice this part of me, he's also busy so I thought even if he saw something it would just brush off. Even I didn't notice there was something wrong with me. This isn't my usual self. He's right.

This isn't me.

There was a long silence after that. He was just looking at me while I avoided his gaze. After weeks of thinking, I knew what to say to him now.

"Kuya."

He looked at me intently, waiting for my next words.

"Let's go back to states."

Eyes slight wide, he looked as if he just got something out of his chest, like he can breathe. But deep in his eyes, I saw guilt.

Why though?

"But I have one request before we go."

"Anything, lil' sis."

"I.. want to find answers."

That cut him off. I knew he knew what I was talking about. I want answers. I'd be in peace when that happens.It took him a minute to move. He nodded his head a bit and reached for his jean's pocket.

"I'll call him." Is all he said. I shook my head and gestured no, I want to be the one to come.

"Can you just give me his room number?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Room 406.

Behind this door is the guy with the answers I have searched for so long.

Behind this door is the man who loved me at my past.

Behind this door is the reason of my headaches and sleepless nights.

Behind this door is the man I loved.

Is he here? Maybe he's not. He's probably at the canteen. Or at the playground. Or maybe at the cliff, oh, god! Who knows where?

Am I backing out? Am I afraid to get those answers?

I mean, I could do this tomorrow, right? But I'm already here, though. Maybe I can still wait till tomorrow? Aaarrgghh, I don't knooww!!!

Why am I even in panic? My god, Aiyah! Pull yourself together! Poise!

But it's still annoying, I mean, I still haven't recovered from that crying scene and now here I am.

Should I do this?

Well, here goes nothing.

I knocked three times at the black wooden door of his room after a few more minutes of convincing myself to do so.

"Joshua?"

Nothing.

No answers. I should go back now. Well that went a lot fine than I thought it would but that's it I guess. I still have a lot of clothes to pack. I turned my back to start walking but my heart almost stopped when I heard the door being opened. I felt a hand holding mine, stopping me from taking another step away.

"And where do you think you're going?"

His voice was colder than I remember. I removed my hand from his hold and I am so sure I felt something there. His voice was a lot husky than when we last talked, also the reason why I felt shivers run down my spine.

Sparks? Really? Disgusting.

From my eyes, he slowly traced his sight down until it reached my hand. He is probably wondering why I pulled back.

"What are you doing here with those clothes?" He said. A part of me, the very childish part of me, from deep in my veins, made me blush a bit when he said those words in a slightly intimidating way. God, I hate that part of me. It took me almost a full second just to process what he said and when I did, I looked down to see what was wrong with it.

I went down here on my pajama as the bottom while I had a tank top because it was a bit hot earlier. With my fluffy slippers to finish it off, I do not think there is something wrong. I just rolled my eyes and my aura quickly changed when I remembered why I was here at the first place.

"I, uh, wanted to.. uh, talk to you." I answered, not knowing how to get started.

He just 'huh'-ed then raised a finger on me to indicate me to stay.

"Wait here, I'll just change."

My eyes wandered to his clothes and oh god I literally felt like I was burning hot and I am so sure that my face looked like a tomato. Why? HE'S ONLY WEARING HIS BOXERS, THAT IS WHY!

I avoided my gaze and just nodded as a reply, still not recovering. Now, how will I possibly erase that memory?

It only took him 30 seconds to change. Jogging pants. He really has a thing to comfy pants, eh? He closed the door and walked past me and me being dumb as shit, I just looked at him. He looked back when he noticed I was not following and gave me a curious look. "What? would you rather talk inside my room? You should have told me so that I wouldn't have wasted the time to get clothes on." He said with his famous smirk. I rolled my eyes and walked quickly pass him, silently scolding myself because I was not paying attention.

I got on the elevator and pressed close before he even had the chance to get inside. I smiled as a form of victory I was alone inside.

When the doors open again, I walked slowly out. I know that was immature but that was the least I can do to cover up that annoying scene from earlier.

I walked the halls with a smile and opened the canteen doors with glee while my eyes are closed. Like I imagined, the doors flew and the familiar warm canteen room was the first thing I felt when it opened.

I took a moment to open my eyes and when I did, all the happiness I felt vanished.

"Wha-" I trailed off. HE WAS ALREADY THERE!

He was looking at me like I was a weirdo but his usual aura was there, the annoying one.

I stumped while I walked towards his seat, the exact seat where we sat the first time we met.

When I sat down, he stood up which made me look at him. He fixed his shirt and put his hands on his pockets.

"Well? Aren't you going to sit?" I asked, irritated. Call me immature, but I still can't think of how he got here before me.

"Do you want anything?" His question made my eyes glow a bit. Food!

I looked forward to think of something to eat even though I memorized the whole menu when I first saw it. "Just a sandwich." I turned my eyes on him and he looked like he was expecting more.

"Just a sandwich?" He repeated what I said, giving intonation on every word, almost as if he could not believe what he just heard.

I looked down, trying to hide my true feelings which was basically longing for food, I'm starving.

No! a sandwich isn't enough. I am so hungry I can eat a whole cow. But I wouldn't tell him that because that would be plain embarrassing.

"You look like you want to eat more than a sandwich. What is it?"

I sighed in defeat. Okay fine, "A lemonade. A burger also, maybe add fries."

He grinned and nodded before leaving to head to the counter. Although hospital food always remind me that I'm sick, I just couldn't help but eat it since I got no other choice. Food from the canteen are mostly stale, some of it have less flavor than normal food.

Sick people food, as I call it sometimes.

Just a few minutes of waiting when I saw him coming back to our table. Good thing this hospital serves some junk foods, because if not, I'd get tired of eating their sandwich

"What are we here for?" He asked when he sat down on his spot. I grabbed my tray of fries and took a bit out of one. Even with catsup and everything, it still doesn't taste like normal.

"I'm going to states by Saturday. I just wanted to ask why I had memories of you."

"That's because I am your boyfriend." He said so casually while eating his burger.

"EX. Ex boyfriend." I said with an emphasis on the Ex.

"We broke up? I didn't knew. You? Do you remember? 'Cause I don't."

"Well, I...uh.."

A smirk grew around his face, showing victory.

"We are together."

"We aren't!"

That shut him off, I waited for a minute or two before I decided to continue talking.

"We are not in a relationship, Joshua. Everything that happened, that's all in the past now."

"You should've thought about that before you hugged me and cried in my shoulders for hours, Aiyah Klaire."