Squeeze My Hand

Hours turned into days and days turned into a week. I was exhausted and looked like hell when Kabir and Nisha came in and dropped off food for me.

'How is she?' Kabir asked.

I shrugged. 'The doctor said she has brain activity, which is good. Other than that, she still hasn't regained consciousness. She is still in a coma. I am scared of losing her. I should have told her how I really feel, but I was trying to protect myself from this. Here I am in a hospital room, going through this again.'

'Vivaan, you need to go home and shower. Take a few hours and go take care of yourself. You need to at least shave—you have a beard now,' Nisha pointed out.

'I can't go anywhere until Meera wakes up.' I felt almost childish as I made this announcement, but I couldn't bring myself to leave her side.

The nurses encouraged me to talk to her. Sometimes, I told her stories about my trip; other times, I just told her what was in my heart.

I admitted to her that, through my journeys, I realized that one can never run from one's own self, one's own soul.

'The day we met, I was almost frozen....You were so beautiful that I wanted to speak to you, but I was afraid to utter a word. I held my breath and wanted to stop time. Right from the start I knew that I had found a home for my heart.'

A nurse came in and I stopped talking. She gestured for me to continue.

'Meera, you turned my world upside down. You give me immense happiness ... you are my soul. My love, I don't want to look back in five years' time and think, "We could have been magnificent, but I was afraid." In five years, I want to remember how fear tried to cheat me out of the best thing in my life. But I didn't let it.'

The nurse wrote something in Meera's chart. I didn't look at her directly, but I could see out of the corner of my eye that she was wiping away tears.

'Sweetheart,' I begged. 'Squeeze my hand. With it comes my heart, soul, love, trust, faith, hopes, dreams, past and future.

'Take my hand, and with it, all I have and all I am is forever yours.'

I didn't go anywhere; I didn't escape. Everyone thought I should leave the room to do things. They told me the hospital would call me up if there were any changes. I didn't want a call from the hospital. I wanted to see her dark brown eyes look deep within my own.