Chapter 20

How long has it been since i've been inside of this hospital room? 

This lonely, cold, and foreign environment. How many times have I opened my eyes to see a white hospital room with the sound of a heart monitor next to me? 

Last thing I remember was waking up to Nyree crying next to me, while she held my hand as she prayed silently to herself. 

Oh wait...that's right...I had my first seizure a few days ago. The day before I could be discharged from the hospital. 

My heart monitor alerted the doctors to find my body having a spasm with my eyes rolled back. 

It was terrifying. 

Worst feeling to have when I thought I was going to sleep peacefully that night. Instead I woke up to myself having a seizure, and the doctors trying to calm me down. 

It was like something from a horror film. 

Now here I am sitting on my hospital bed, no friends allowed to enter for health reasons. 

The doctors said it was to make sure I don't get overwhelmed, and try to take in so much excitement at once. 

Or whatever they said-I was too busy cursing life to hear them. 

I have nothing to do except question life while listening to hospital noises. 

I can't work, I can't go to school, I can't see Lauren-who still refused to see me or contact me, I can't see grandma, nor do anything social.

The only social thing I can do is go outside for walks, which is boring by myself. 

"Dani Hills?" a voice says by the door's entrance causing me to look in that direction. 

"Yeah, that's me. Who are you?" 

A lady appears in front of me carrying a briefcase and wore a tux. She had a pixie cut and wore prescription glasses-which I think were prescription glasses. 

"My name is Dr. James. I am a professional psychologist  from the Miami Psych Center, how are you doing today Dani?" Dr. James took a seat next to me and crossed her legs to look formal. 

I scrunch up my nose at her. "Who sent you?" 

"The hospital recommended me to come." She smiles as she takes out her notepad. 

"The hospital needs to mind their business. I don't need a therapist." 

"It is better to talk your problems out to figure out your condition, Dani." 

"They already know my problems. The whole world knows my problems." 

"Can you tell me then?" 

I roll my eyes and looked away from the therapist. "My mom died when I was young, and I used to have bad blood with my own father." 

Dr. James wrote it down on her notepad using a mechanical pencil. "Why did your mother die?" 

"I'm not obligated to tell you." 

"You aren't. That is correct." she smiles. "But it would be nice to know." 

"I'm not comfortable saying it." 

"Okay then." the therapist writes something down. "You are in this ICU room for retrograde amnesia. Can you tell me how did you injure your head?" 

I shrug and look down at my hands that were clutching the blanket. "I don't remember how I injured my head." 

"Alright," she writes something down. "Can you tell me a bit about your personal life?"

I didn't respond. 

"Any...boyfriends?" 

"I'm not into any guys." I responded. 

"Well any girlfriends? It is a free world." 

I felt my face heat up thinking about Lauren, but then my face turned into a sad remembering she didn't bother visiting me. 

"What's wrong?" Dr. James asks me. 

"I have a girlfriend...s-she's just not visiting me." 

"Why not? Are you two having a fight?" 

I turn to look at Dr. James. "The reason I remembered everything was because of her, and she thinks she's the reason I am in the hospital."

"Is she?" 

"No. I mean, yeah she's the main person I forgot about from my life, but she's not the one responsible for any of this. I'm at fault. I tried too hard to remember her." 

"Can you tell me about the memories you lost of her? If you're comfortable speaking of them." 

"I guess...I mean why not?" I sighed. "The first time I met Lauren-we weren't friends yet, but our fathers were both bosses of their own business slash company so they crossed paths a lot." 

"Mhm..."

"I was the shy child that my father had to handle with care, and she was the energetic child that her father let run around as long as she stayed close." I shifted my gaze to the ceiling. I could feel tears trying to betray my eyes. "She smiled bright and tried to get me to play with her. I hid behind my father trying to get away from her." 

My bottom lip quivered. "She was my light in the darkness I tried to walk through on my own. Do you know how it feels to be rescued by someone that you didn't ask for? That shit feels so foreign but yet...so needed." 

"No...I have not." 

"Expected to hear that." 

"Does Lauren have a mother?" 

"She does." 

"How did she react to your friendship?"

"Weirdly, she didn't mind it. She sometimes called my home asking for me to come visit or sleepover. She is very kind." I leaned back and covered my eyes with my arm. "I don't understand why they pretended not to know me when I returned to their home." 

"Maybe Lauren asked them not to say anything." 

"Seems likely but she didn't stop talking about me losing my memory, so she either wanted to hope that I could remember or she knew her parents would slip up to say something."

"Did your mom knew them?"

"She heard of them but never met them personally. She did meet Lauren though. I can't remember how many times though." 

"Speaking of your mom..." Dr. James pulled out something that made a rustling noise. "Can you tell me about who your mother was? It seems she wasn't married to your father nor had anything to do with your father's company." 

I peeked from under my arm to glare at what she was holding. It was a newspaper with my mother's face on it. "Where the hell did you get that?" 

"I kept it for this special day. The day I get to help her daughter."

"You might've never got the chance to meet me." 

"I hoped and my chance came true. So is it alright?" 

"Seeing how the world wants answers from me anyways. I'll talk about her, but if you twist my words around I won't hesitate to return to court."

Dr. James nods. "I will not." 

I covered my eyes again before I spoke. "Alright...so...Daniella Hills was a woman of mysterious, but the real truth is that she was like any ordinary person. A person that was a face on every magazine you could find." 

"Was she a model?" 

"A model with the world on her shoulders and a future unplanned for her."

"Was you unplanned?" 

I nod. "I found out by accident one night after her death. My dad was on the phone talking to someone and he said the words 'Dani wasn't a planned pregnancy'. I was crushed hearing that, my first thought was 'Was I a mistake?'." I felt a tear escape my eye. "Lauren was the one that told me 'you're not a mistake, you're a miracle'." 

"That's sweet."

"She was sweet." I could feel another tear escape my eye. "But besides her words, my mother had a life of being a model...but her agency was terrible." 

"What do you mean?"

"They forced her to be someone she was not."

"That's horrible to hear." 

"Other than that...her 'love' story was completely different."

"Meaning how your parents met." Dr. James wrote something down. "How did they meet?" 

I clenched my hand into a fist. "By a cliff."