Penis or Weenus (or Weenis or Wenis)?

Let's play a game:

Is it a Penis or a Weenus (or Weenis or Wenis)?

First off, my skin can be loose at times. It can also be very tight at times as well.

It never be loose and tight at the same time.

I can switch between loose and tight skin in a matter of seconds.

When my skin is loose, I look very odd and saggy.

When my skin is tight, I look especially classic and mighty.

When my skin is loose, I am very wrinkly.

When I suffer a laceration or abrasion I heal very slowly due to unexpected stretching and movement.

The area around me is generally a slightly different color than I am.

Nine out of 10 people don't know what or where the Weenus or (Weenis or Wenis) is.

Nine out of 10 people (men and women) don't know a Penis is actually called a Penis.

A Penis has multiple nicknames, MULTIPLE!

Sometimes I am used to pleasure a woman or man.

But I am often touched by my "owner" for his pleasure more than another person's.

Throughout the day, I am touched often.

When I itch and have to be scratched, I always hear the sound "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

When my "owner" falls from a bicycle, I am often injured.

When my "owner" is sitting, I am very close to his belly button.

That's it folks! If you're trying to figure out which statement applies to which body part, give up! The Weenus (or Weenis or Wenis) and Penis apply to all of them!

Thank you for letting me waste your time.