I HAVE TO TRY

ROSABELLA'S POV

Wait a minute.

So that's it? Another choice made for me.

"No children, huh?"

I hadn't even thought about the possibility of me having children, when it was already decided that I wouldn't be able to have any.

"Not exactly. I am not saying that you wouldn't be able to conceive. There is no medical condition stopping you from that. But actually carrying the pregnancy to term would be extremely dangerous, not just for the baby but also for you. I have seen many cases like this, and we usually discourage such women to even try for a child."

I swallowed hard and tried to not let my head fall back on the bed.

It's okay. I thought to myself.

After all this wasn't even something i had thought about until now. Sure, Hale and I had talked about a future where we would have a family.

But it was only once.

And that too seemed too good to be true.

I nodded and tried to not let the tears that welled up in my eyes blur my vision.

"Alright then, is there anything else?"

"No, Your Majesty."

"One last thing. I would appreciate it if you would keep this matter between us for now."

He smiled at me and assured me that he would.

I nodded as he bowed slightly with a notepad in his hand. He had worn the typical clothes that were usually worn by healers.

A white coat over a common shirt and black pants.

He looked like he was in his late thirties. Probably was married from the golden band on his finger.

I wondered how many people he would have had to deliver such news too.

Was the number more than the number of people he gave joyful news to?

Was it less?

I hope it was.

Once he exited the room, I let my tired head fall back on to the bed.

Just perfect, I whispered.

Just fucking perfect.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

"How many?"

I waited for an answer as both the men continued to look down.

Was it in shame?

Was it in regret?

I will never know.

"I asked both of you, how many lives did we lose? How many Lormeians were killed!? I would appreciate it if the both of you would reply."

"Fifty six. Forty five soldiers and eleven maids were killed, Your Highness."

I shook my head in disappointment and looked away. Fifty six people were lost.

I couldn't believe that this could have happened right under my nose.

There had to have been someone on the inside working with the rebels. After all, how would they have known to attack the west wing. It was usually our least guarded wing, because not many people visited it.

It was also the wing that I rarely went into.

So it was probably clear that they hadn't come for me or to harm me.

"Maybe it was the Mortales."

My head shot up and I looked at Edgar who had insinuated that it was the Mortales that had attacked us.

"Think about it, Your Majesty. All of the men that had attacked us were wearing green. That was the Mortale's earlier symbolizing color. The one before the war."

It couldn't have been them, could it?

Hale couldn't have sent a whole army to attack us, right?

It just didn't sound like him.

I shook my head as the both of them got back to looking at each other in a way that annoyed the living hell out of me.

"The Mortales may not have any magical powers, but Your Majesty, they hate our guts. Especially their king. Hale Underwood. He sent similar attacks when our late king first started ruling, but later they ended up getting on each other's good terms. That's why the attacks stopped. Maybe he is just testing you, now?"

I really didn't know him anymore, did I?

When I think of Hale, a kind compassionate healer comes to my mind.

Not the cruel, ruthless king he had become.

"Are you sure about this information, Edgar?"

He winced at the way I skipped his title.

He swallowed and replied again.

"Yes. Yes, Your Majesty."

I hated how I trusted him so blindly. Even after seven fucking years I treated him like I did earlier.

It was a lot easier when I didn't know what kind of a person he had become earlier. When I didn't know what he was up to or was he even alright.

Sure I was miserable at that time too. But it was a bearable misery.

A misery that reminded me that it was me who caused it.

It was because of myself that I was suffering.

Somehow, in a sick way I was in control of that misery

Now that I literally have to work in parallel with him, it just made me feel a different kind of miserable.

A misery that I had no control of. I didn't choose to do this.

"Alright then. I will be having some announcements to make in tomorrow's court. So, have the entire council prepared. Until then, I will be resting here."

Both the councilmen nodded and bowed.

"Please do rest, your Majesty. What you did was brave and extremely dangerous. You deserve it."

I nodded and let them leave.

Once I knew that they would have been far gone from this side of the wing, I opened the drawer to the table that was placed near my bed.

There were a few numbing potions kept in there for me, in case the pain got unbearable.

The stabbing pain in my abdomen wasn't that bad, but I had to numb it down if I wanted to get some work done.

I didn't deserve that rest. They were wrong.

I didn't deserve any ounce of rest, and I am sure that those fifty six people who lost their lives agreed with me.

Once the bitter taste of that potion faltered, I took in a deep breath and turned to get off the bed.

I gasped when I felt my insides being turned in a way they were not supposed to.

How long did this potion even take to work?

When I stood on my feet, it took everything inside of me to not lose my balance and just fall.

"Fuck.", I whispered.

I began to walk toward the cupboard, hoping there were some decent clothes for me in there.

There was no way I was going to wear this white gown that reached my knees.

I looked like a ghost that was just caught by some five year olds.

"Yes!", I grinned when I saw a light pink gown that had delicate diamonds alongside it's border. It had a beautiful neck and the a small part of my shoulders were exposed, but I didn't mind it.

I found my sword near my bed and put it back in the scabbard that was attached to my dress.

I brushed down my hair and tried to make them look decent enough so that I wouldn't scare anyone away.

I was sure that my face was not going to support me there. It had a scary kind of paleness to it. Perhaps, because of the loss of blood.

I walked out of the door when I saw the guard leave for a shift exchange.

There was an eery silence in the palace. The maids were nowhere to be seen and the guards looked down.

As I continued to walk toward Cameron's room, I tried to figure out a way to bring back the peace that once lived in our palace.

He too was kept in a separate room like me. I nodded at the guards that were near his room and they moved aside to let me enter.

Once inside, I realized that his room was a lot smaller than mine. He lied unconscious on the bed with Edward on a chair next to him.

Edward had fallen asleep with his head on his father's bed.

He was a good son. There were bags under both their eyes. But there were deeper ones under Edward's.

He wore cast on his leg, that only indicated that he had injured his leg badly.

I stood there for a second before Sir Cameron opened his eyes.

He looked dazed for a second but once he saw me there, his eyes widened.

"Y- Your Majesty!"

I walked a little closer to his bed and nodded.

"How are you, Sir Scott?"

"I am doing well. A few broken ribs, but they'll heal from the number of potions they made me drink. I am worried about you, Your Majesty. My boy told me that you were stabbed too. How are you doing, Your Highness?"

"I am alright now. Take some rest, Sir Scott. There will be a few important announcements in tomorrow's court, so I would like for you to be there."

He nodded solemnly.

"Alright then, I will be taking my leave now."

I waited for a few seconds when I saw the hesitant look on his face.

Was he trying to say something?

When he didn't, I turned to towards the door.

I was almost at the door when he spoke.

"Your Majesty?"

I turned once again when I heard his voice.

"Yes, Sir Scott?"

"I am very grateful for your sacrifice. It must not have been easy. I am really proud of what you just did."

For a second, I tried to think of a way to reply.

I hadn't been told that for a very long time.

"Thank you, Sir Scott. But I think it was my duty to do so as the Lormeian Queen."

He chuckled.

"I am not talking about that. I can read minds, Your Majesty. And when you came in all, that you could think about was how you would never be able to see your own child be there for you, the way Edward is here for me. That's the sacrifice I was talking about."

My throat choked up when he said that. How could I have forgotten that Scott came from the mind reading bloodline.

"T- That's okay. I ca- I will be alright."

He nodded.

"I know that you will. You are one of the strongest after all. But pease take care of yourself. At the end, you can't protect everyone."

"Oh, but I have to. I have to try."