23

I leave a message on Elizabeth's cell and cancel our plans to go for dinner after school. Not that I could have kept anything down anyway. 

Instead, I go home, right from Leary's office. I'm walking in a fog. I nearly miss my metro stop and narrowly avoid being run over when I cross the street on a red light. The driver honks and rolls down his window to yell at me, Osti de salope!

I go straight up to my loft, where I lock the door and slide the chain into place. I strip down, think of running a bath, but the idea of waiting that long makes me want to throw up. So I just blast the hot water and climb under it till it runs out.

I think I might be crying, but I can't be sure. The hot water washes away everything.