Roan2099

Girls like me don't get happy endings.
     I know what I am.
     .  I set boundaries between myself and my past, only to end up with a low-quality nightclub.  Even my excuse to work there is as bad as it can be: I work here to pay for college, get my technical degree from the most prestigious university in Montreal.  Although baffling, in the daytime: I'm just a student and at night a stripper!

     But the inevitable happens and collides with my life.  And now there's one woman who knows all of my characters: the quiet Alaskan student, anti-social, and cruel Heaven stripper.

      This woman is beautiful and complicated.  It comes from the other side of life, where this side does not want me and does not accept me.  But she does amaze me and her hot and warm hands on my skin make me feel things I gave up long ago.

     So what's the problem!

     The problem is, this woman is a teacher in my classic photography lessons at university!

Hard love to me

The next day I don't bother showing up. Screw the deadlines for withdrawal, screw my GPA. I'll fail every single class and I'm utterly indifferent to that fact. I'll never come back, not next semester, not ever. With my floor-level GPA I'll never get into another college, not here or back home. Maybe I'll just find a rundown shithole of a strip club somewhere in Minnesota, next to a gas station, and give blow jobs to truckers in the so-called champagne room for the rest of my life.

I spend the day in the bathtub, until the water grows so cold it seems to leach life energy right through my goosebump-covered skin. When my teeth start to clatter so hard I think I might break them, I get out and collapse into bed.

The weekend goes by in a fog. My phone is dead: not a text, not a call, not from Elizabeth or from work or from Maryse or from anyone. It feels like I've been completely forgotten by the world at large, like I never even existed.

25