- Undying Fear -

Approximately 2 hours later

-Author's POV-

Jungkook along with the rest of the crew exited the main tent after a successful performance. Almost everyone was thrilled by the acts and were complimenting each other.

"Soojin-ah, when you came on to the stage, everyone went nuts!", Baekhyun emphasised, feeling envious of Soojin, "I haven't seen them this hyped yet and you probably gained new fans."

Soojin on the other hand, didn't express the happiness due to unsettling thoughts, "I may gain new fans every day, Bacon. Despite that, the one person that I want drawn towards, ignores my existence most of the time.", she said as her eyes were set upon Jungkook who was walking a bit further away from them. Soojin knew that Jungkook heard her but he never took her words into consideration.

"That is life, Soojin-ah.", Yeosang patted Soojin's back soothingly, "We can't change how our fates want us to live."

"I guess you're right, besides...", Soojin let out a relieved breath, "All of you did well tonight as well."

Baekhyun beamed happily in agreement, "Of course I did! I am the bloody star of the show after all.", he tilted his chin up, feeling pride overflowing from within while Jiu only sighed, "Here he goes again."

The crew laughed while walking through the caravan park, ready to get some rest except for Jungkook who was looking around for certain someone – Areum. He wondered whether there was a possibility that she chickened out, however, all their eyes landed in the same direction...

"She really loves downgrading herself, doesn't she?", Soojin stopped and watched Areum who was sitting on the ground, her head tilted to her shoulder as her back was leaning against one of the caravans. Areum was asleep.

"Soojin-ah, don't judge her. We don't know why she's like this", Jiu defended Areum, not really liking Soojin's pecky remarks. Soojin really listens to Jiu's scolding and once again rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

With Soojin being the first one to retreat, everyone else also separated to their own caravans, leaving Jungkook to deal with Areum.

Jungkook disappointedly shook his head before approaching Areum while muttering to himself, "Aish, she's causing me more trouble than the entire circus combined."

"Yah, wake up!", upon Jungkook's shout, Areum jolted from her slumber immediately as she wasn't a heavy sleeper.

As soon as her still tired eyes met Jungkook's, she stood up, supporting herself by leaning against the caravan and smiled at him, not receiving a smile from Jungkook in return, "I have awakened, Boss."

"Yes, I can see that.", Jungkook mumbled in annoyance but that didn't make Areum's cheerful expression to fade away as she replied softly, "Right. Those beautiful eyes of yours won't miss anything, right?"

Jungkook shrugged Areum's flirtatious remark off and let out a tired sigh, "Come with me."

"You're not planning on disposing of me, are you?", Areum asked with fear in her voice and Jungkook didn't like it therefore groaned in response, "You're annoying."

"And you're charming.", Areum winked before giving yet another toothy grin.

Giving no response, Jungkook walked away as Areum followed silently, being proud that she could affect the cold man named Jungkook like that. On the other hand, Jungkook could still not get used to the fact of how casually Areum talked to him. But deep down he knew...

As soon as training starts, everything will change.

-Areum's POV-

Jungkook led me back to his caravan as he let me in first and then closed the door behind me. This is the second time I come here. Jungkook's caravan's interior was quite simple since he probably didn't like having too many objects and furniture.

At the very back, there was a double-sized bed, neatly fixed with some pillows that had basic ornaments engraved on them. On the left side, there were two chairs and a small table between them. There were two windows from both sides of the caravan therefore giving more light inside.

I wasn't sure why Jungkook brought me back here so I looked at him who was quicker to speak first with no emotion whatsoever, "You can stay here until we figure something out."

"Oh, okay... Thank you, Boss.", I thanked him politely before finding my way to sit down on one of the chairs, trying to get comfortable but then I felt Jungkook staring at me.

"I'll need that seat.", he spoke almost nonchalantly while taking off the black blazer that he wore for the whole day and hooking it on the door handle.

I was a bit confused, "At night? What do you do with it? Hug it?"

"Are you questioning your Boss?", I could swear that I caught a small smirk on Jungkook's lips before he turned to approach my sitting figure.

What startled and flustered me, even more, was the fact that Jungkook placed his hands on both armrests, moving closer to my face until we were inches apart, eyes not leaving one another, "Hyun Areum, if you are going to stay in this circus, you must know...", I attempted to reduce the closeness of our face by leaning backward but Jungkook caught my chin gently before finishing his sentence, "Nobody questions what I do unless it is work-related."

Gulping a lump in my throat I nodded just slightly, "Okay, I'm sorry I asked... Boss."

Jungkook backed away as soon as I issued my apology and I stood up, pouting slightly like a little kid before stating, "Did you want something from me then?"

"Sleep on the bed."

"What?"

"Sleep on the bed, I'm waking you up at six in the morning and you will have a long day of training.", Jungkook said while searching for some papers on his table, "I suggest you prepare yourself for it. I don't care if you're a woman, I will treat you like everyone else."

His tone was strict and I was aware that I should take his warning seriously, however, I just shrugged at him. Jungkook's annoyed gaze was already stabbing me multiple times in attempts to scare me which I didn't fail to notice, "If you're trying to make me scared of you, it isn't working, Boss."

"We will see how long that attitude will last, Hyun Areum.", Jungkook challenged.

"You're talking like my nuns. They always address me as 'Hyun Areum'. I can picture you in a nun outfit.", the thought of Jungkook in a nun outfit made me snort evilly.

"Get to bed, you're becoming a nuisance.", Jungkook pushed me quite gently to the side as he sat down on the seat, already having the papers he was searching for in his hands but the concern was torturing me, "What about you? This is your bed; you should sleep on it. I'm okay with sleeping outside, believe me.", I strongly assured Jungkook who glared at me briefly before looking back at his papers in response.

"Can you shut up? I swear, nobody has bugged me as much in my whole existence as you do in a couple of hours.", he paused for a few moments before speaking more calmly, "Now, stop bugging into someone else's life and go to sleep. I really am starting to regret allowing you to stay."

"I was just curious.", I argued back. What kind of bee has bit him to be this grumpy?

"Then don't be. That curiosity better is disposed of.", silence surrounded us after as I just stood there like a lost puppy, spectating him reading the papers.

Jungkook unexplainably distant and indifferent to me but it's not like I mind it... I am a stranger after all. Besides, I was treated worse meaning Jungkook doesn't even come close to being like people in prison or nunnery. No matter what he does, he will never come close.

Sighing in defeat, I finally made a choice to give up arguing with Jungkook and sat down on the bed before lying down on my left side, facing the wall. For a few weeks, I will be forced to sleep on my left side due to so many wounds and bruises on my stomach and back areas.

I'm enduring the pain up until this hour and wonder how in the world I'm still alive after continuous beating and torture? Biting my bottom lip, I decided to grab one pillow and hug it in attempts to soothe myself and fall into dreamland.

This bed made me feel like I was lying on the cloud itself... When was the last time I slept on the bed? Four or six years? I had no strength of speculating how much because I was finally drifting away and mumbled one last thing, "Goodnight, Boss..."

The Next Morning

Jungkook's words held no lies the moment he said that he will wake me up early. I would always be awakened in prison at this time but I just simply could not adapt to that routine.

This early and sunny morning, my eyes were heavy due to sleepiness and my mind was completely blank. Momentarily, I got a grip of myself when Jungkook began explaining the essential information, "I want you to be on stage as soon as possible, Hyun Areum. Therefore, you must learn your role well to give a memorable performance."

Jungkook stopped walking back and forth, now facing me, "And in no way you must be a forgotten performance. Only poor entertainment is forgotten and I don't wish yours to be one of the least liked performances."

I merely nodded and continued listening to him, "One of your roles is a comedian.", he announced before pulling out a journal from behind his back and handing it to me, "You must script a scenario and prepare your act. I want you to make them laugh until the tears escape their eyes, can you do that?"

I accepted the journal from him before replying, "I'm capable. If I could crack a smile on your face yesterday then this should be no problem."

A smirk grew on Jungkook's lips as the once emotionless expression switched to amusement as a result of my words, "Alright then, Hyun Areum. I will challenge you.", I raised an eyebrow wondering what was he up to, "If you put up a show that will truly make me laugh, I'll pay you a bit more for your salary."

He then pulled out his notebook from the inner pocket of his blazer, opening it and looking through it, "Let's see... Your mock performance is on the 29th of June. If you pass this mock then you will be able to perform on stage. You do know that I expect you to work hard even if it takes away your sleep, right?"

He stared at me, anticipating my response, "That's no problem with me, Boss.", but then another assigned role made me curious so I asked Jungkook who closed his notebook, "What about the target role? What am I supposed to do?"

Jungkook said nothing in return and walked past me, leading me to a particular platform. When we walked up on to it, my eyes caught sight of different knives situated on the wooden table. Then a huge circular red target distracted me from the knives as inspected it in suspicion. Is this what I think it is?

To my horror, Jungkook suddenly ordered, "Stand against the target.", my head automatically snapped to his direction before I stuttered in disbelief, "Y-you're joking, right?"

"I'm no clown, Hyun Areum. Do as I say.", from the seriousness of Jungkook's tone, I figured that he wasn't joking so I mumbled before reaching the target, "And he said that he is not trying to dispose of me."

Turning around to face Jungkook, I leaned against the wooden target and saw Jungkook picking a sharp yet shiny knife as he glanced at me, "Spread your arms and legs to the sides."

"Whatever you say, Boss.", I retorted sarcastically, spreading my arms and legs to the sides, not liking this awkward position at all. No, wait. I don't like this whole idea at all!

As soon as I was in my position, Jungkook threw a knife carelessly at me as I yelped when it hit the wooden target just above my right shoulder. It would be an understatement to say that I was terrified. My poor heart hammered against my rib cage like a psycho.

This whole situation started reminding me of prison and how the guards would cut my skin open with knives while I was pressed against the wall. I tried to breathe steadily to not break down in panic as I heard Jungkook approaching me.

I still had my eyes closed but the tap on my cheek caused me to flutter them open as Jungkook was now inches away from me, "Do you understand your role now, Hyun Areum?"

Somewhere in my throat, I found my voice that was trembling when I let out a single sentence, "I suppose I do now, Boss."

Jungkook's smirk vanished as he started removing the knife from the target while staring at me, "Try to not move too much next time or else you will be either killed or seriously injured. Don't close your eyes either as you will indicate to the audience that you're scared and we are not here to worry but to entertain them, understood?"

He completely removed the knife and backed away from me and only then I found my breath again, "This is ridiculous, Boss! You're literally signing my deed of death by assigning me to this role! I don't want to face the gates of hell yet!!!", I yelled, panic getting the best out of me.

But my panic didn't seem to matter to Jungkook. In fact, he enjoyed it, "Silly me.", he said before elaborating, "I forgot to mention that you will be tied up against the target and spun around as Baekhyun will aim his knives at you."

Words got stuck in my throat as I opened my mouth to speak and then closed it. Is Jungkook in his right mind?

"I do suggest to make prayers before performances. You chose to be here meaning I expect no more complaints from you. No one ever complained here as much as you do."

This jerk... He seems to not like me complaining but I decided to do exactly the opposite, "Well, you might bear it as well since I didn't get to issue my complaints for two years. You should be honored, Boss."

"I shall feel honored when you become of some use here. Start working on your performance from now on.", Jungkook placed the knife back to its place before turning to leave the tent but then stopped by the exit and said, "Help others to clean up this place or you are receiving no dinner tonight."

A scoff erupted from my throat as I rolled my eyes, "Wah, now you treat me like a ten-year-old?"

"You realised that just now?", he chuckled and left me all alone in the presence of now messy tent. It was messy because of the performance that took place in here last night. Clenching my fists, I mentally promised myself to prove Jungkook wrong and show just how much I am capable to adapt.

"Just wait, Jeon Jungkook. A day will come when you won't look down on me."

After hours of work, I walked outside to the caravan park to get some fresh air. I've been trying to assist and help others as well as coming to terms with the fact that I'll have literal knives thrown at me...

Did I mention I'll have knives thrown at me?! These people are sick. I escaped one hell hole just to be invited at the gate of death. I couldn't help but let the worry consume me and with that worry, I started wishing my mother was here. I looked at the evening sky, painted by the evening sun, "Mother, look at where I ended up. The universe desperately wants me dead."

I knew that she won't answer, no matter how many times I call her. I've been waiting for my mother to return every day since I was eight but my hopes were buried deep within my heart because, until this day, I never saw her face again. I should be hating her but here I am... Missing her.

I sighed and then heard a shout coming a little further away from me, "Areum, come join us!", it was Baekhyun whose mouth was full of food.

I saw the whole crew sitting on the ground while eating lunch and just the smell of their food got my empty stomach grumbling as I didn't have a single bite for the entire day.

However, despite my hunger, I wondered whether it was really okay for me to join the crew. Just yesterday our meeting was a bit gloomy and uncomfortable. But when I take a look at them now, the members seem to be having fun so I decided to approach their table before sitting down beside Bacon hesitantly.

Baekhyun passed me a plate with food with chopsticks, encouraging, "Here, have some. You really need to gain a little bit of weight."

"Wow, Bacon.", Yeosang teased Baekhyun as amusement was clear in his voice, "You must really like her to give her your food."

"Shush!", Baekhyun snapped back before taking a bite of the sausage as he munched in defense, "I am just being bloody nice to her."

"Whatever you say, Bacon.", Yeosang shrugged.

Baekhyun's words made me feel more relieved as I was glad that at least he was the first person who treats me like a human being. With that thought, I scooped some sliced meat from the plate and ate it.

I almost cried because I couldn't remember the last time when I allowed my buds to taste some meat. However, before I could drown in my own thoughts, Yeosang's curiosity prevented me from chewing, "How is your first day, Areum?"

Swallowing, I focused on Yeosang who was already waiting for my answer. I admitted with all honesty, "It's tough but I'm determined to learn. Although, I'm not too fond to have knives thrown at me..."

Just as I finished my sentence, Baekhyun encircled his arm around my shoulder and patted my upper arm, "Don't worry, I'm a professional at throwing knives.", Baekhyun said confidently, no doubts evident when he assured and explained in attempts to comfort me, "We will have to figure out different positions for you to be in before every show meaning we will practice and consider all the safety measures."

Is he for real? How can you implement safety when throwing knives is already a risk itself? I moved his arm away from me before concluding, "Nothing can be worse than having you throw knives at me while I'm spinning on some damned wheel..."

Just then my ears caught a sound of Soojin scoffing as my eyes traveled to see her placing her cup of water on the ground as she asked, "Do you really believe that?"

"What do you mean?", I responded back with another question.

"Nothing much... Just that the positions get more dangerous as they progress.", Soojin smirked as she kept listing the aspects of being a target, "Sometimes, you'll have to play hide and seek with Bacon while he throws knives at the targets you'll be standing against..."

The satisfaction was engrossed within her smooth voice as she sheepishly progressed in arising anxiety within me, "Sometimes instead of knives, Bacon will shoot arrows at you that could be either normal or set afire...", her smug smirk widened even more as she stared deep into my soul, "All while blindfolded."

That part was the point when my appetite suddenly vanished into a thin air as my stomach dropped at the thought of doing all these positions that Soojin mentioned. Now I understood that Jungkook was being quite generous by not explaining my role in too much detail, unlike Soojin who seemed to enjoy witnessing me crumbling in fear.

Did I really just sign myself up for this?

"Yah, Soojin.", Jiu then stepped into our conversation with a concerned expression, "Let's not scare her.", she then shifted to face me before placing her hand on my cold one, "Don't worry. Before each show, you and Bacon will have rehearsed everything, therefore he will know exactly where he shouldn't aim."

Yeosang nodded in agreement, "Besides, Bacon has never missed, right Bacon?", he asked Baekhyun who was gulping down his last contents of water.

Baekhyun wiped his lips and answered, "Exactly! I swear that I won't kill you."

My gaze drifted off onto my lap while I simply nodded, knowing that no matter what I say, they'll try to assure me that it was going to be alright. But then I thought that all of them too faced dangerous situations during their performance so it led me to ask, "How do you deal with the thought of injury or death then?"

Everyone went silent for a tiny bit until Jiu was the first one to come up with an answer, "Here, we merely accept the risk of injury or death as a consequence. We try not to revolve our thoughts around it."

"Jiu's right, Areum. It would be best for you to not think about it either. Just hope for the best and enjoy the thrill.", Yeosang offered a kind simper.

Perhaps Yeosang and Jiu were right? If I focus too much on possible consequences, I won't find the peace that I'm so desperate to retrieve. It's okay to be afraid sometimes but for now, I will try to push it back in my memory as far as physically and mentally possible.

With that mere resolution, I nodded happily at them but then a shout behind us disrupted the moment. Turning around, I spotted Taemin shouting at a petite yet innocent boy, "You can't do anything right, can you?! All I asked was to prepare my equipment and you couldn't even do that?!", the poor guy kept flinching every time Taemin raised his voice.

"I am sorry- ", the guy squeaked quietly with his head dipped down, afraid to meet Taemin's burning glares.

"Who is that?", I questioned, still spectating the scene in front of me. Taemin was being too harsh on that guy. How come I didn't see him here?

"He's the sidekick – Beomgyu.", Soojin answered nonchalantly, clearly not too concerned about the guy who was being scolded by Taemin.

I saw how scared Beomgyu was and I tried to suppress the urge to step in but it was useless as I already rose to my feet, marching towards the two just when Taemin raised his hand to slap him.

Thankfully, I was present between the two of them on time and grabbed Taemin's hand, yanking it away, and proceeding to shout at Taemin who was taken by a shock seeing me here, "What in the world do you think you're doing?! You can't abuse him just because he didn't prepare something for you.", I defended Beomgyu who hid behind my back while gripping on my jumper.

"It was a small task and yet he failed at it!", Taemin argued back with as much force, trying to convince me that abusing Beomgyu is the right response to his mistake.

"Well if it was such a small task then do it yourself instead of forcing it on him. Can't you see he's scared?!", I didn't back down as I stared bravely into Taemin's lion-like eyes.

However, what I didn't predict was Taemin's smirk, "Do it myself, huh?", he lurched closer as I automatically soared back with Beomgyu behind, realising that maybe I shouldn't have yelled straight to his face. Taemin inevitably radiated the vibe of all people in my past.

A crumple has shaken my body when Taemin harshly grabbed my chin, whispering threateningly, "Let me give you some advice, newbie.", his grip was causing a slight pain but I didn't express it, "Don't ever oppose me again because you are practically running into a lion's grip."

Taemin then released my chin, continuing his threat, "And you never run straight into a lion's grip, even when it's tamed because its nature was always to bite.", the words wouldn't come out of my mouth and Taemin took it as a chance to look at helpless Beomgyu and shout at him, showing who is dominating here, "Beomgyu! Here. Now."

Without sparing me another glance, Taemin escorted himself back to the main tent and of course, Beomgyu dashed after him like an obedient dog while I watched before wondering...

How much trouble will I have here?

I was almost sure that due to my big mouth, I will either be thrown away or maybe even killed. Just then Jungkook's exact words waved back like the wind, reminding me of the reality of this circus.

This circus can become your source of passion and downfall.

Still staring in the direction where the main tent is situated, I mumbled to myself, "It'll probably be my downfall..."

I rubbed both of my eyes with my fingers, letting out a breath, "What if Jungkook finds out what I just did? He'll be mad since I'm already disrupting peace and managed to get into argument. Great."

Shaking my head, I turned back to sit with others who were visibly shocked by my outburst but I did not wish to discuss it, and neither did they bring it up. I finished off the food that was given to me and went back to work.

The performances had to begin in thirty minutes and I was finally able to sit down near the main tent, composing ideas for my comedian role in my journal. Since it was summer, at this very time in the evening, it was still bright as the sun was settling down to be replaced with the mysterious moon.

A warm summer evening wind gushing around was a cause of pages flipping over so I held them back with my fingers. At this moment I was contemplating whether to turn my life story into a comedy that would erupt people's laughter.

What am I even thinking?

Transforming sad stories into comedies would be the worst humiliation to survive through. Life wasn't a joke ever since I was left to face the world alone, therefore, confirming that mere thought, I crossed out this idea and flipped the page, revealing another blank one.

Glooming my spaced-out eyes around the area, my pupils stopped at one spot as my whole body melted in panic when two police officers who just arrived at the circus caught my attention.

No, no, no. Did they come for me? How did they find me?

I suddenly felt sick in my stomach but wasted no time and rose to my feet to quickly get away to hide. Instead of running, I marched at a quick pace to avoid standing out and catching their attention in any way.

I kept glancing back as I hurried restlessly, checking if they didn't spot me chickening out. I don't know how it happened but suddenly I stumbled backward due to the force of crashing into someone taller than me.

Before I could land butt first on the ground, an arm caught me by my waist as my head immediately whipped to meet dangerously gorgeous doe-like jet eyes that belonged to none other but Jeon Jungkook.

I gulped.

One question escaped Jungkook's lips.

"Are you perhaps running because of those officers?"