Chapter Nineteen; Part Two

Ten Years Ago...

At only 13 years old, my brother, Raito, was already a young genius. He had the best grades in his class, was good at sports, and several of the girls in school were crushing on him. Meanwhile I made decent grades, was decent at PE, and had literally zero girls falling for me. I was unbelievably average in almost every way possible. It was always like that between us, but it was at this point that something changed between us. Like I've mentioned before, we were never particularly close to one another, but on this day, exactly ten years ago from the day I fought my brother, something happened. Something I could never forget.

I was nine years old at the time. My brother had earned several awards, from perfect attendance, to straight A's all year round, and even teacher favorite. My parents and I were watching in the crowd, them taking pictures and me cheering for my brother happily. I was honestly happy with the way my life was at that point. I was only a kid, so I was ignorant to the ways of the world, and I had friends at the time, which was all I really cared about. I looked up to Raito. He was a bright light while I was merely the thunder that sounded his approach. Just as Raito was like a shining beacon of light, as his name suggested, I was a lot like thunder at that point in my life. I was loud, energetic, and you could hear me coming a mile away. I was loving life and living it to the fullest.

After the ceremony, I went to use the bathroom quickly. When I went back to my parents, I heard them talking about my brother and I. I giggled to myself and hid from them, listening to what they had to say. "Raito makes me so proud, I swear." My mother said happily.

"He really lives up to his name huh? He's definitely the light of our lives." My father chuckled. I nodded to myself with a big grin on my face, agreeing with everything they had said.

"I only wish Sanda could be just a bit better, you know?" My mother sighed.

"Yeah... He is rather average. Painfully for that matter." My father replied.

"I know it's not his fault...but at least we have Raito." I could hear the smile in her voice when she said that.

My smile faded and I frowned a little, thinking to myself, "It's not like I don't try... Why would they say that..?" I silently walked away with that thought in my mind. I had always figured they had thoughts like that about me. I just sort of put them off at the time and continued to live my life. Even though I knew they thought those things, it still hurt to hear.

I tried to find my friends who were also there, either from being invited by me or having their own older siblings receiving awards. I eventually found them to also be talking about my brother and I, and I hid again to hear what they had to say. "They wouldn't feel the same way, right..?" I thought to myself.

"Sanda's big brother is so cool! He practically has every reward you can get at this point."

"I know right? I wish I had a big brother like that. He's so nice too..." I smiled, happy to hear how they thought of my brother, though I was more interested in what they had to say about me.

"I feel a little bad though..."

"Hm? How come?"

"Well, we are only pretending to be Sanda's friends so we get to hang out with his brother sometimes too." Something inside of me shattered as I heard those words, and I was utterly devastated.

"Well, I guess I feel a little bad, but there's nothing really interesting about the guy. Sure he's fun to be around I guess, but he's also suuuper boring!"

"Yeah good point. His brother is way cooler!"

I ran off, not wanting to hear anymore. I teared up as I ran, but held in any kind of cry. I didn't want to cry because of those jerks or because of what my parents thought about me. Instead, I went to find my brother, wanting to know what he really thought about me too. I eventually found him backstage, surrounded by his fellow classmates, and once again, I hid and listened to what they were saying.

"Raito you're such an amazing guy! I still can't believe you got every single reward." A young boy giggled.

"I didn't even know this one existed..." One of the other boy students held up a paper reward that said, "Best hugger award".

Raito giggled and blushed a bit, embarrassed. He used to hug every single one of his teachers at that age, to thank them for teaching him and being awesome teachers and such. "Come on guys, you're embarrassing me."

"Awwww! He's so cute!" Several of the girls caroused, even some of the older ones.

I watched him in awe. "There's no way he also feels that way about me... He's too cool and nice and awesome to think that way..." I thought.

"It must be embarrassing to have such an average brother with the way you are huh?"

My brother's eyes widened a bit at the question. "E-Eh? What do you mean?"

"Well, you're an super awesome student and your brother is probably one of the most boring kids on the planet."

"Come on, don't say that. He'll change, he's only nine... I know he'll become something amazing in the future..." He muttered.

I smiled and sighed with relief, mumbling to myself. "I knew it...At least my brother would never..."

"But what if he never changes? Would you be embarrassed then?"

"Ah... Well if that were to happen...then..." I watched as my brother's eyes darkened just a bit. In my mind, that meant that the thought of me never changing would embarrass him, which meant that in a way, I was already an embarrassment to him as well, even if he wouldn't flat out admit it. At that point I couldn't stop the tears from falling from my eyes. I ran off, starting to cry as I continuously tried to wipe my eyes free from my tears. I shoved past adults, upperclassman, other kids my age, everyone. I just wanted to be alone.

I eventually found myself outside and hid in a corner. I slid into a sitting position and hugged my knees to my chest, burying my face in them as I continued crying. "E-Even...m-my brother...t-thinks I'm an embarrassment..!"

I didn't think anyone would come after me, but I heard a voice call out to me. "Hey! Sanda!" I could hear this person panting as well. "There you are..." They paused as they noticed me crying. "What's the matter..?" I looked up to see Raito crouching down in front of me.

I simply stared at him as tears continued to pour from my eyes. In that moment, I hated him. I wished he had never been born. "It's not fair... If only you didn't exist...then people wouldn't think this way about me..." I clenched my fist lightly as I thought that. I wanted to stand up, punch him, kick him, hurt him in some way, but I didn't move.

He suddenly sat next to me and patted my head. "Don't listen to them okay..? You're perfectly fine just the way you are..."

My eyes widened slightly at his words, confused. "But...you..." I muttered, trying to say that he felt the same way.

As if he knew what I was trying to say, he retorted. "I don't feel the way they do." He ruffled my hair, making me whine. This was something he did to me quite often when we were younger. "I act the way they expect me to because it's what they expect of me..." He gently rubbed my head and I stared at him, confused at the time. "I couldn't be prouder of the fact that you're not exactly like me. I'm happy you don't have to go through some of the stuff I do." He turned to me and hugged me. Even though I was still confused and a bit angry, I returned his embrace, calming down.

"The world is a cruel place Sanda... Don't let it change who you are, okay..?" I nodded slowly in response and simply hugged him. "I know you'll be great someday..."

I don't remember much about what happened after that, but I distanced myself from my "friends" and parents after that. I still talked to my brother here and there, the only one I never really distanced myself from. That is until I got older and I just couldn't take how different we were anymore. I practically cut myself off from this world. His words came back to me always though. Those words that he said to me that day continued to ring in my mind at that very moment. That's why I just couldn't understand.

Present...

I just couldn't understand the situation I was in. I was fighting my only brother in a death battle when he should've already been dead. The brother I had always looked up to and who always supported me was now trying to kill me. "Why is this happening..?" The two of us blasted our elements from our free hands and knocked each other back. All of those memories played through my mind again as I flew backwards, gritting my teeth as I caught myself and watched Raito do the same. I roared a battle cry as I fired a barrage of lightning bolts at Raito, and he fired a barrage of plasma blasts right back as he roared as well. "Why is my only brother trying to kill me..?!" A tear slid down my cheek, but instantly turned to steam due to the sparks emanating from my body.

I flashed through the shockwaves of our clashing elements, getting a couple cuts here and there, but I didn't let them stop me. I saw Raito flash to me as well, getting a few cuts of his own, and both of us flashed back and forth through the air, punching, kicking, and striking one another with our elements. Lightning and plasma continued to flash through the sky just as we did. Suddenly, I felt several figures approaching the area, but I didn't care. All I could focus on was the immense rage and sorrow I felt. We both knocked each other back before flashing to one another again, trying to push each other back as we headbutted each other and glared into each other's eyes.